Are all 4 year old boys horrible or have I created a monster?

[Paddingtonblue]

So, 4 year old DS has suddenly decided that the way to impress the world is to be a vile, nasty little sh*t to his 3 year old brother. He pinches and pushes and calls him names, and if he has an audience (particularly of another small boy) he doubles his efforts. We have tried time out, concentrating on DS2, yelling, forcing them to spend time together, gentle discussion of how important it is to be nice to people and the gulping of large glasses of wine the minute the sun hits the yard arm (me, not them).
There is only 13 months between then so DS2 tries really hard to do all the things that DS1 which must be frustrating for DS1 but they were great mates for a long time, it just seems that now that school is on the horizon and they are becoming more social animals, that DS1 has included being a bully into his social persona.
Where has my lovely little boy gone to be replaced by this little thuglet? He is quite lovely when we are alone, and we make a point of spending time with each of the boys alone, and he is lovely to his DS who is 8 months. He is nice to other small boys, but his brother cops the lot. What do I do that doesn't involve
running screaming from the house the minute they get up in the morning.

4yos are hard work. Harder than any previous age, ime.
Sorry to say this, but I find 6yos the very worst, 5 not so bad .
It's better if you don't see them only in negatives.
Outside spaces better than indoors ones.
Find projects where they have to cooperate at the 3yos level to get a joint goal, like the 3yo can bring bits of wood for the 4yo to build something & visa versa.
Don't typecast the one acting worst, Siblings without Rivalry book is a helpful read.

Well to answer your question, no not all 4 yr old boys are like this and no you've not created a monster! :) it sounds like you are making it clear to him his behaviour is unacceptable but mix this with activities which encourages them to work together more, they are close enough in age that this should be possible. If he behaves badly send him out the room, he'll soon get the message. School will probably help him and make him feel like the 'big boy' - maybe he needs to feel some distinction between him and his brother?

For what its worth I think age 5 and 6 are lovely enjoyable ages !

Thanks for the replies, and great point about the typecasating. DH and I are in the zone now of watching DS1 to look for the nasty behaviour which isn't the way forward. We just really don't want a bully for a child.
Right, am going to get some outdoor mutual activities going, we are on the other side of the world so have a vague shadow of summer still. I have to get this under control before we are housebound by winter.