3 weeks old refuses to leave my chest?

[Edison01]

Hi all,

I had a baby girl 3 weeks ago and I am getting a bit desperate by her sleeping preferences... She is my second child, and first DD (now 5) was fine with sleeping in her moses basket/cot/pram. But this little one just refuses to leave my chest - every time we try to settle her in any of the above, she just screams and will not calm down till she is not back on my chest. She would also use my breast/nipples to soothe herself - I know it is not good, but seems to be the only thing working for her? We tried dummies, not a lot of success. After the feed she would also 'agree' to stay on my husband's chest for a little while, so at least I can take a quick shower/brush my teeth (this usually happends in the evening, when he is back from work), but I am getting claustrofobic now by not being able to put her down 24/7. Health visitor just said to keep persevering, but we do and do not seem to be making any progress at all. I am also worried, that sleeping at night in a sitting position with her on my chest is not very safe? I started to use a baby carrier, second day now, she does not enjoy it and moans a bit, but managed to fall asleep in it both mornings after some walking around and rocking. Anybody experienced this? Is this normal and is she just insecure? What should I do to try to teach her to accept her pram & cot? I tried to look into some parenting books, but have not seen anything on the subject of overly clingy babies? Any advice is welcome, I am really not sure where to go from here... Thanks!

She's not overly clingy or insecure...she's just being 3 weeks old :)

For 9 months, she's been warmly cocooned inside your body, every need she has ever had has been met immediately and without question. Now she's in this strange dry, noisy, sometimes cold world where she feels funny but doesn't know why (poo, wee, hunger, tired) and she has no idea that she's a separate being from you.

This is all entirely normal. Using the breast as comfort is also normal, and it's normal for babies to feed ALL evening as well. It's not very convenient, but it isn't 'not good'. You're her mum - you ARE her comfort.

Give your current sling a couple more days, and then if she's still not happy perhaps try a different type of sling? There's nothing you can do to 'teach her to accept her pram and cot' other than give her time.

It's hard, it can be claustrophobic but it's not forever. The one thing I will say is don't compare her to your older DD - as you're learning, just because one did something one way it doesn't mean the other will do the same!

One of mine was just like this, it drove me nuts! But didn't last too long in the grand scheme of things. Survive this phase any way you can and it will get easier.

My dd is like this. She's 7 months and has been like this since birth. She will not go in a pram or car seat and will only sit on the floor with her toys if she can have a hand on me.
Not really got much advice. What kind of sling do you have? I had a moby wrap which was brilliant until she was about 6months. It does get easier, I've managed to persuade her to sleep in her cot from 7 until when I go to bed although she will shout me to go cuddle her a few times.
It is hard but they're only small for such a short time. It'll pass.

Agree completely with FlissPaps

Your baby is only three weeks old, of course she wants to sleep on her mummy, just enjoy this time for now as she will soon get better at sleeping on her own. Could you wear a sling rather than a baby carrier so you can go about with other things while she is sleeping? I used a big pashmina with DS when he was tiny, just tied him to my chest with it. When he was older I could tie him to my back like an African lady so I could geton with more things.

Try not to worry too much, your baby is not clingy or insecure, just very very young.

thanks ladies, it is reassuring, I really appreciate your response - I just feel so guilty, as both midwife and health visitor keep saying that I have to persevere and keep teaching her accept to sleep on her back in her cot. The health visitor even told me, that if I didn't persevere, she was sure I would be still stuck 6 month later with her on my chest..:-( So it took my confidence away... I will keep trying slowly and gently... She seems to be reasonably fine in a car seat (as long as she has full tummy), but only my husband drives and he uses the car for work, so I can only get around walking, which at the moment is not really possible with her not being keen on pram. And of course I feel guilty for not being able to do anyhting with my DD1, as I have to constantly hold DD2 - she seems to be upset at times, that baby has 'taken over' mummy full time... I also tried swaddling, which didn't seem to make difference either... Anyhow, I will keep cuddling her and see if she decides one day that her basket and pram are not enemy..:-)

Sorry you are going through this. My DD is 10 weeks and it is only in the past week that I have got her to sleep in her Moses basket. It was a nightmare as not only would she only sleep in my arms, but she didn't sleep at night, and could cry for hours on end. It did finally get better, however. I think babies just need time to get used to things. We did have her treated by a cranial osteopath. This may also have helped. I also found using a sling a huge help. She didn't like it at first, but got used to it quite quickly.
Best of luck, and try to just enjoy lots of cuddle time for the next few weeks. It will get better before you know it.