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Baby's first word

13 replies

HerMomma · 20/03/2012 11:39

I have a 2 month old daughter an we live with my parents. I am a single mom and really want my daughters first word to be Momma but my parents don't understand how much it means to me and are trying to get her to say they'r names first. How do I get her to say Momma first? And am I over reacting?

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mmmerangue · 20/03/2012 11:48

She will do as she pleases.

Most kids first sounds are mamamama dadadada and bababa or similar anyway.

My little boy did say 'dada' first (as in meaning my partner not just a random noise) and it did pull my heartstrings a little, but soon after it was mamamamama all day long. He has only just learned 'gan' (Granny) recently (13 months said his first words before Christmas) despite seeing my in-laws and parents once a week and being bombarded with the word as they try and worm it into him.

You see a lot more of her than they do, and if it really bothers you, just say mamama to her endlessly and she will definitely say that first.

..Are they pushing for their names first in a jokey way because they know you want her to say mama? Tell them she said 'Fuck'.

mmmerangue · 20/03/2012 11:48

Sorry, I missed that you live with them...

suzikettles · 20/03/2012 12:35

Ds didn't say "mummy" (or any approximation of it) until he was almost 2. I tell myself he didn't need to because I was always there for him anyway (Wink), but really, who knows why. Anyway, he got a fright about something when he was about 20 months and came running to me shouting "mummy, mummy, mummy" and basically never stopped for the next 6 months...(which got pretty wearing).

Anyway, they'll decide themselves what their first word will be. I'm not sure repeating anything will make much different.

Ds's first word was "cheese"*. Dnephew's first word was "duck".

*Actually, I can't strictly remember what ds's first word was [bad mother], but he said "cheese" pretty early on, so that's what I'm telling him Blush

Tee2072 · 20/03/2012 12:48

I haven no idea what my son's actual first word was but Mummy wasn't until he was nearly 2.5.

She'll do what she does. There really is nothing you can do.

mmmerangue · 20/03/2012 13:00

I sort of meant for names by the way - my boy's first actual word was 'Bye' :)

madaboutmadmen · 20/03/2012 13:03

My DS said the cat's name first Grin, probably because I wad always telling her off and he copied me! Have you got a pet you can call Mom?! Wink

silverfrog · 20/03/2012 13:07

dd1's first word was 'ball'

dd2's first word was dinosaur ('di-saur')

Beamur · 20/03/2012 13:08

Some letters are just easier to say - which is why most babies say dada before mama.
I think your parents are being mean if they are trying to coach your baby in that way, they were parents once too, so should know how you'd feel about it.
My DD's first proper word that she said and understood how to use was 'that'

beela · 20/03/2012 14:01

DS made the noises mamamamama before dadadadadada, but said dada with meaning a couple of weeks before he said mama. Before either of those though, his first word was 'star', at christmas.

If your dd is only 2 months old at the moment then she won't say anything for a few months, possibly even a year or more - and as other people have said, she'll say what she wants to say. Perhaps your parents will have got bored with trying to teach her their names by then? But maybe have a chat with them if it is upsetting you.

Sparklyboots · 20/03/2012 14:04

DS definitely says 'Da-dee'; I had heard that it was easier to say this than mummy or whatever. However, he did create his own word for me - 'Amby' which he has definitely used more and said before Daddy. He uses it to ask for milk/ cuddles or if I am out of the room/ flat, he will stand at the door and say it in my absence, then say it over and over with pleasure when I return.

His first word was 'oof' (woof) - I wonder if on the whole, it is more likely that your daughter's first word will be a reference to something (probably quite simple and specific) to which you both refer - so it is more likely that she will say your parents' names if you use them constantly within her hearing in relation to them, and she understands the reference? We have picture books with a dog, and he clearly joined the dots between that dog and the dogs we see out and about, and my pointing and speaking in a consistent and straightforward way (insofar as saying dog and woof is what I always do when I see a dog but I say and do a range of things in relation to daddy). He said woof before he said any of our names, probably because 'mummy' and 'daddy' are used in a range of quite complex contexts whereas when you say 'dog' it is simply at the appearance of a dog. When you say your own name, or someone else's, you are usually using it in the context of a range of other things (feeding/ dressing/ cuddling/ doing x action etc.) which are sometimes and sometimes not exclusively related to the person (so it's hard for DS to dissociate the concept of mummy from the person with milk - so he's not sure if it's me or the milk he's naming. On the other hand, people say similar things to one another in a range of situations involving different people - saying bye for example - so it's probably hard to work out whether you are naming action or the person doing it.) So naming others is probably tricky, and it might be that daddy is easier to say but more significantly when to say daddy is clearly and understandably modeled by a baby's primary care giver.

I have to say, though, that simply saying a word over and over again is a pretty stupid way of trying to teach it - you really have to understand the context of a word fully before you can use it. Having said that, if you are the primary care-giver, then it's unlikely that your name will come first, because it's more likely that your baby will model something that you do. Although it is common to speak about yourself in the 3rd person to a baby ('Mummy is doing x) the baby is probably not clear about whether any person describing themself as doing x in that situation would say 'Mummy' or not. So I would take it as a mark of your daughter's special relationship with you that she will find it easier to do something that you do and conceptualise a reference that you make rather than a reference to you.

StrandedBear · 20/03/2012 16:12

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mama1980 · 20/03/2012 17:12

My ds s first word was mama I am /was a single mum and so I would talk constantly to him mama just doing the washing etc. tbh it didn't really matter what it was but then again I did call everyone when he said mama Smile my hv said it was quite uncommon though so don't get your hopes up, they do as they please in the end

HerMomma · 20/03/2012 17:28

Thanks everyone for your helpful advice Smile
I have talked to my parents about it and they just laugh at me an act kinda rude.. Its like a competition with they about who will be her favorite.. But I say Momma to my daughter about a million times a day but I know she will say what she wants to say. Just want her first name to be Momma Blush

Thank you everyoneGrin

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