DD (nearly 3) doesn't play with other children :(

[FSB]

She's never been the most exuberant physical child probably due to having coeliac disease (diagnosed 3 months ago), but she's recently moved up a class at nursery and her new teachers have made several comments about how she never interacts with the other kids. She has two best friends who she's known all her life (one is more like a brother - they shared a nanny and then moved onto the same nursery together), and she plays v well with them and sees them a lot, but on days when she's not with them she won't branch out and play with anyone else and as they won't be able to go to school together, I'm worried she's going to end up a bit of a loner :(

Anyone else had kids who were like this and grew out of it, or did u gave to do things to improve the situation? Thanks

I think it's quite normal at this age - my ds is a bit like it too. For him I think it's lack of confidence in joining in with a group, but he's quite happy if it's just one on one play with another child.

I used to be like it myself all through primary school, but as soon as I went to secondary I had a huge group of friends, and without trying to sound big headed, I was very popular.

I definitely think confidence and self esteem was what helped - but at 3yo I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Thanks, I was the other way round - popular and outgoing child and then badly bullied thru secondary school, do I guess I'm a bit paranoid about her fitting in and having friends! Was there anything u did to improve things with your DS?

This is totally normal. Children play alongside others before they learn to play with them. They all mature at different rates . I had one 3 year old like this, who only got the hang after 4 years. Plays beautifully with children in her class now.

Hi FSB

No I haven't really done anything - I spoke to his pre school and they were not bothered about it at all. He is very happy so as long as it stays that way I'm not really concerned.

The only thing I've noticed with ds is that if we give him lots of praise for things, it boosts his self esteem and he is happier all round, including being interactive with others.

Thanks, I'll try that... We're generally very praisey anyway, and she's confident with adults and with her two friends - its just that she doesn't seem to feel the need to have any more friends! there are some lovely gentle kids in her class but if I ask her whether any of them are her friends she says "no, X and X are my friends"..

Don't worry too much - up until recently, if I asked ds who his friends were he'd say "Mummy"

Aah, that's cute!!

Don't worry - I didn't used to play with anyone either. It was because I couldnt understand for a long time how friendships worked or "what I was supposed to do". My parents sent me to nursery first, to get me started with being sociable, and it developed from there.