Lovely 2yr turned into clinging, screaming monster

[BusterBluth]

For the past 2 months my previously smiley, happy d has turned into an absolute nightmare. She wants to be picked up and carried all the time, and I mean all the time - I can't go to the loo, make a drink, anything, without her either on my hip or throwing herself on the ground screaming blue murder. She hits her head on the floor/doors/stairs too so impossible to ignore.

She seems exhausted during the day (has been waking crying 2x a night and waking around 5:30/6am. Bed at 7pm.) but there's nothing wrong as far as I can tell.
I don't know what to do, I am feeling so depressed and it's leading me to have all sorts of horrible thoughts that I would never act on, but I feel like a horrible dark cloud is invading my head.

Sorry for length of post, not sure what I'm looking for really, just feel very close to not coping. Have been screamed at every day from morning till night for the past 8wks and I just want my happy baby back. She seems so angry and upset and I just feel like a crap mother.

You poor thing, I don't have any advice I'm afraid... My DD (nearly 3) is very much like this (although with less screaming because I tend to take her with me to the loo!), but she has always been massively clingy to me and not very fond of other significant adults in her life!

Just wanted to offer a hug and mark my place in case someone responds with some good tips!

Hang in there, and just tell yourself its because she loves you so much..! That's what I do!

"carry me like a little baby mummy" is the most overused phrase in our house!! Good job i'm not having another baby any time soon!!!

Ok we have just been through this stage and may i just sympathise with you and say i had all of the same thoughts and it was sending me into a big depression state! Horrid!!! But on a positive note we have come through the other side and no worse for ware! i had stair gates and before i left the room i would tell dd that i was going to do x and when i come back in we can have a cuddle or do x. The other thing i tried was id explain where i was going and why and would she like to sing me a song or id sing her a song so she knew i hadnt left her this helped while making a drink or loo or cooking dinner as she soon lost interest when she realised i wasn't going anywhere. Try maybe asking her to tell you a story or you do, Hope this may help but if not im sure someone will. keep your chin up it wont last much longer honest

Oh an forgot to say if all else fails id sing a song or go through things i had to do in my head while ignoring the screaming as i knew there was nothing physically wrong.

Thank you for replying and for your supportive words - as much as I wouldn't wish this on others it is nice to hear that people have been through it and survived!! I will try singing to her when I'm leaving the room etc, not sure it will work but worth a try. She'll scream and scream in the car or in her bed, but completely quietens down if I place even one finger on her, she just wants to know that I am there at all times.

I know it's because she loves me but it is so suffocating and makes me not like her as much Must try and focus on the fact that this can't last forever, I guess I'm scared that this is the new 'her' iykwim, and that my happy-go-lucky, confident, laughing child is gone

Tonight, lots of

Has there been anything that might have caused the sudden change? I take it u haven't recently had another baby coz you would have mentioned it! But has her childcare situation changed or did she get lost in the super market or something? If u could figure out what she was particularly worried about u might be ale to address it.

Dd is the same in the car, I have I sit in the back with her (DH hates it!!).

Is there someone else she would be happy to be left with so u can have a break? Often loving your kids when they are this suffocating is about getting a bit of 'me time'!

I can't think of anything significant (certainly no new baby checks under sofa) - we did go on holiday about a month ago and she was particularly clingy that whole time. While I don't think that caused it I do think it made it worse... siiiiiiiigh. Fair dos to her, she has been smiley and happy all afternoon after a horrible morning. I don't think she's getting enough sleep, but now she's out of her cot there's not much I can do to keep her in bed... I ended up changing beds 4 times the other night trying to get her to calm down and sleep. Sorry, I know I'm just moaning. I really do appreciate everyone's replies.

Its a phase most go through and its part of learning about the world around them, lack of sleep wont help in either of your cases but all you can do is your best, feel free to moan sometimes we all need to moan but often don't get herd so honest feel free we are all listening and a break would do you good.

My 2yo is very very clingy too, he can't sit next to me, it has to be on me, he then proceeds to fling himself around and wiggle..... it drives me insane, I am so sick of having random items flailed in my face and him nutting my nose/teeth . I also cannot generally leave the room or carry out any tasks without him clinging to my legs and generally getting in the way.

I don't really have any suggestions but wanted you to know that you are not alone, it doesn't last, really it doesn't. She will eventually grow out of it, if all else fails there is the 15 hours of preschool to look forward to (counting the days till January ).

Do you have a Dp/h who could give you a sleep in/break? Dp gives me a sleep in and also does the putting to bed when he is here.

Ds thankfully sleeps ok, but is still in a cot, does she nap at all? Ds will only nap on the sofa these days, so I make a point of cbeebies on plus a snuggle on the sofa with him after lunch when possible, he only falls asleep 50% of the time, but it helps.

Try to get out for a good long walk too, maybe the park etc, they tend to be more interested in sticks and squirrels than Mummy.

Sorry for being a chocolate teapot, wish you luck, remember "this too shall pass" although it's a bit wanky .

My mum assures me (and she spent a lot of years working with under 5s) that this is all part of their natural inner conflict between enjoying and fearing increasing independence - they can walk by themselves, occupy themselves, cope when you're not there but that in itself is quite scary to them. Good news is they all get over it - bad news that they will continuously adopt a new version of this until sometime in their late 20s

My DD currently has two modes of operation : 70% of the time "My legs fell off" i.e. mummy you have to carry me and 30% "Ruuuunnn" ... both of which exhausting for aged mummy.

And don't worry about "dark" thoughts - everyone has them. Just shock / disbelief / outrage that we have so little "control" over these little beings who are so dependent upon us.

No advice, but my 2.1 yr old is like this too! He has been super-clingy since around 5 months though, so I think this just is his personality.

But I totally empathise with how you are feeling! Sometimes I get so frustrated with him - I think I'd have more energy to be a better mum if he let me cook his tea in peace while staring into space (ususally I cook his tea one handed and hold him with the other...sigh...)