Memorising and reciting, normal?

[TitWillow]

DS is 3and a half. We have just been to nursery parents evening, and they are suggesting that he maybe needs to see a specialst.

He is not good with children his own age, and is shy with strangers. At home he is very chatty with adults he knows well, and interacts with his little sister, although he ignored her for the first year.

He memorises books, or bits of tv or films and sits and recites them to himself, or to me. Sometimes he inserts himself into the story, or acts out one of the characters. He gets kind of stuck in a loop sometimes and recites them over and over. He also loves trains, and talks about them a lot.

Is this in the range of normal behaviour, or should I be worried?

My brother was always like this, my parents were convinced there was something 'wrong' with him. As a toddler he would meticulously line up is little cars and should anyone accidentally move one even just a little he would have a complete meltdown. He became obsessed with the film Top Gun and would demand to watch it 2 or 3 times a day. We were on a car journey once and he recited the entire dialogue from start to finish. I think he was about 5 or 6 at the time He was quite a clingy child and shy with children and adults he didn't know.

By mid-primary school he had become more social (late bloomer?) and by high school he was Mr Popular - and remains that way to this day.

He still has some rather quirky little habits and we've never let him live down the Top Gun incident, but he is a normal well adjusted adult with a successful marriage, good career and dozens upon dozens of close friends.

I suspect he sits a little further along the autism spectrum than the rest of us, but it's never bothered him.

My DS (3.5) also has some similar traits to DB. I guess it's a family thing.

I personally wouldn't worry too much so long as he is happy, but follow it up anyway for your own peace of mind.

I think maybe it depends how often and what happens if he is interupted if it is a problem or not.
I have 2 children with autism and one who is fairly neurotypical.

The neurotypical one who is 3 will happily 'read' a book - ie can recite lots of his books by heart.

The eldest is now 9 and has severe Aspergers - a lot of his 'imaginative play' as a young child (well still now to a point) was simply repeating things that he had heard - e.g. he would act out being in the cafe we went to, but he would always order the same food, I HAD to answer with the words he expected - no point me going off script, it would cause him severe anxiety. He can recite most of his favourite films word for word. However, he wouldn't look at a book and recite it and pretend he was reading - as he knew he couldn't read.

All 3 have very intense interests, but the difference between them is that whereas DS1/2 can only seem to talk about their special interests, and will answer with completely random comments as they are thinking about their interest rather than listening to what has been said to them, DS3 can be drawn away from his interests without it causing massive meltdown tantrums.

So it is hard to say from reading on a forum if there is an issue or not, as I think it is the intensity of repeating stuff (echolalia) or interests etc that is an issue, rather than the behaviours themself.
Personally if the nursery are raising a concern I would follow their lead and get things checked out, he won't be diagnosed with anything if there is nothing wrong, but equally if there is than the sooner it is known about interventions can be put in place.

Thanks for reassuring me, I have been a bit worried about him for a while, at the back of my mind, but hearing it from someone else has freaked me out a bit.

I'm reassured by the fact that when he is diverted from his favourite topics, he doesn't get anxious. He like routines, but can cope if we break them. If I try to change the topic when he is telling his stories, he calls me "silly mummy" and laughs.

I think the nursery are worried because when he is there, he doesn't interact with the other kids, and talks endlessly about trains. He is also ahead academically, and behind physically.