Night tantrums - is that even a thing?

[auburnlizzy78]

Posting in "Behaviour" rather than "Sleep" because it seems like a better fit...?

Right, so you can get a picture of his "daytime" character, as I think that's relevant..... DS is 17months old but hit the tantrum stage at about 15months. His tantrums are scary and actually leave me a bit shaken (wuss). Even friends with their own toddlers have remarked upon it (in a nice way). Example: Tue, 4pm. Cried and it sounded like he was hungry. Had to wait ten minutes for food until friends leave. I tried to feed him - cue utter hysterics, flailing, refusal to go in highchair, could not be soothed, screaming and flinging himself out of my arms, so I left him screaming in front of CBeebies and when he stopped crying I fed him - three baby bowls of food (after having a good lunch and afternoon snacks).

Night time. Goes down at 7pm with 9oz bottle. Wakes up for another night feed anytime between midnight and 3.30. Six ounces then, nappy change, burp, resettle. Takes 8 minutes! I do not love getting up for this, but can live with it as it's only once a night. It's what happens afterwards. Any time from 4am there will be a loud scream. Minute pause, another one. A few sobs. It's not a night terror because he doesn't want comfort really. It builds and builds, then stops. I go in, put on his white noise, rub his back, cuddle him if he's really going for it. Occasionally I give him some nurofen or some more milk in case it's pain or he's hungry again. He starts flailing about, banging against both sides of the cot, and he sounds, well..... furious about something. This can go on and on and on, he might fall asleep again about 6am, or he might not. Sometimes he is grumpy during the whole day because of it, other times not. His room is dark, he has a night light, it is quiet, he has his comfort blanket and toys in his cot, he is not too hot or too cold, ill, wet, hungry. I don't know what to do with him - me and DH take it in turns to deal with him but we are getting so tired, burnt out and actually starting to dislike our DS for being so bloody awful, which cannot go on.

He naps well, has plenty of stimulation during the day, mixes with other children, actually is generally fine out of the house. No special needs or signs of anything not being "right" with him.

What is going on with him, and what more can we do?

It doesn't sound like night terrors (not an expert!) but only because night terrors tend to be within the first hour or two of sleep. Having said that, I have no idea if it 'counts' if he has been awake at 3am

During DS's night terrors, he doesn't seem to want comfort and is quite out of control. I usually put the light on then hold him quite firmly and rock gently. He often fights and squirms because he is not awake yet. The signal that he is waking/caloming is that he starts yawning.

They happen in cycles; none for weeks/months then build up until they are every night. I often notice his breath is strong so I have wondered about dehydration.

I would probably look to wean him off the milk during the night, if only to reduce the likeliehood of waking earlier, which might change the cycle. I would be tempted to do that now whilst your nights are disrupted anyway, rather than fixing one thing at a time!

Thanks - that's a few things to try! Getting so desperate. Thanks for replying. I know we have to stop night feeds really, it's ridiculous at his age. Just not sure how.....

Hi there, I had the same difficulty with my son. What I did was fed him more dinner and pudding, bath and then the bottle, put him to bed at seven and when he would wake, my husband and I would take turns. Go into the room and make sure he was okay and then say sleep and walk out. ( you do the sleep and walk out in intervals of 5 min then 10min then 15 min and then start again)We did this for three nights and took about two hours each time but he sleeps through now. I do still feed him a meal and pudding bath and bottle and if he wakes I now I do the routine again and it takes about 20minutes for him to settle again.

All I can say is I lived through the same. My son was a bit older (just turned 2), and in a bed so the thrashing and tantrumming exploded out into his whole room. It co-incided with the peak of his daytime tantrums, and the only thing that worked was hanging on to him till he calmed down. At which point he would collapse into bed and be sleeping almost instantly. I didn't think it was night terrors as he responded (mostly badly!) to all my suggestions of things that might make him feel better.

Thankfully it was a twice weekly rather than nightly event, but he just seemed to grow out of it as his daytime tantrums became more "reasonable" ie. as a response to something, rather than the early ones which never seemed to be actually triggered by anything.

Hope you find a "fix", or he gets over it very soon.