4 and half year old behaviour and school readiness

[doradaisy]

My DD is 4 and a half (5 in Sept 2012) and am starting to become a bit concerned about her school readiness. I don't mean learning wise (I think this will be something she'll acquire later anyway) as she was always very interested in words and numbers, can write her name, very inquisitive and has a good memory, etc.

The issue is that she can stilll through a lot of tantrums - say about what clothes she wears in the morning, general frustrations about not being able to 'do' things, like a puzzle of whatever, and particularly, about plans, if they're changed - for example, we were on a playdate with a girl and her mother from her montessori today and she thought we'd decided to go to the playground and started crying and whining and saying 'no I don't want to go' instead of going along with change of plans. The playdate also ended in her crying with tiredness and fighting (a bit) with girl over a game:(

Am worried she;
a. doesn't have the stamina for school as still tires very easily
b. is not the most easy-going child (she never really was) as you cannot control games/situations in school
c. how social/empatheic she is with other children

So far, no major issues in her montessori, they said she's doing ok. I feel bad I haven't addressed some of these things - we do the naughty step at home and take away treats if she's naughty, but usually her behaviour is ok at home, only bad when we're out and about in unstructured play rountines. She good with cousins etc and children she knows but unfamilar children, ones she's not used to playing wtih, she's great for about an hour but can get a bit tantrumy and territorial. I think she can be quite shy as well and acts up a bit.

Does this sound like a worry for school? What things should I work on to get her ready for school

Thanks for reading!

None of this sounds like a worry for school. Re. The tiredness. - you could always start her part time, or a mix of whole days and half days go help her build up her stamina.

Also they can change a lot in 6 months at this age - just keep on doing what you are doing!

My DD was like that at that age - lots of tantrums, possessive over me, always wanted her own way. She's actually started school almost a year younger than your as she was 4 in the August. She still had tantrums at home (still does now, and she's 8!) but at school she was fine. Was quite amazed at the first parent teacher meeting when they said she was doing find academically (which I'd expected) and was also well-behaved

She did find it tiring at school, first few weeks were really shattering. But she did get used to it after a few weeks. She also lacked (and still lacks) some social skills. She's not always kind to other children. But she's always managed fine by playing with the boys whenever the girls are getting a bit sophisticated for her :)

So I wouldn't worry too much - your DD will be one of the oldest in her class, that ought to compensate for if she is a little behind some in social skills.

Also Reception is not at all about sitting down learning reading and maths, etc all day long. It's really not that different from a nursery - a large amount of the time is spent playing and learning the social skills she needs to pick up.

yup my DS1 only did about 1/2 hour morning and pm sitting down and learning in reception - rest of the time was very like nursery -which you say she is doing well at, I agree with purpleroses the first weeks will probably be tiring -plan to do nothing after school if you cna - but after that I would that thought she will be fine - and of course by then the other children will not be new.

My DS1 in Y1 still finds change of plans and new things hard - and regularly has fall outs with other children - epsecially on play dates - its fairly normal in my view

And just to add another thought - you don't have to send your child to school until the September after they are 5. So they could go straight into Year 1. I did this - as my DS is summer born so will always be one of the youngest. And he stayed in his (private, part-time) nursery until then. I think it's normal to be concerned over that transition from nursery to school - but I have been absolutely amazed at how well children manage and thrive. Good luck!

Kw13 - what you've suggested only works for summer born children. The OP's child will be 5 in August, so would have to start in January, one term into reception.

I wouldn't recommend holding them back just one term - it would be likely to make it harder to settle in. The first term's all about settling in really - and most schools will let you send your child part time for the first few weeks, they may even force you to do so.