Ds bitten again at playschool. WWYD

[Purplehonesty]

On three occasions now my ds has been hurt by another child at playschool.
The first time it was scratched and pinched face, the second was a really bad bite and scratched face and today another bite.
The nursery staff have told me it's the same child and have spoken to the parents and are keeping a close eye on her.
My ds is not really upset and still enjoys going but I am worried and a bit angry/upset.
I know all kids go through phases and I am sure she will outgrow it but still it's not just a one off and it's always ds she goes for.
I did wonder about speaking to the mum but I don't want to make it awkward.

I wouldn't approach th eparent. It just undermines the nursery's authority and they'll be annoyed at you.
Does she do this to all the children or just your DS?

What do you think speaking to the mum will do? How do you know it's only your ds she goes for? What have the nursery said they are doing about it other than keeping a close eye?

How do you know who the other mum is?
Nursery have told you that they have already spoken to the other parents so what would you say that's different?

No point speaking to the mum - if she isn't there, what can you do?

I'd ask for a meeting with the nursery manager. Make it clear that it is totally unacceptable for this to keep happening, and you want to know what plan they have in place to keep your child safe.

It is the nursery staff's responsibility to deal with this.

I know it's only him she goes for as the nursery staff said so.
The playleader pointed out the child discreetly and she was with her mum so that's how I know who she is.
They have said they will keep an eye out but I am worried it will put him off going if it keeps happening.
What I was thinking of saying to the mum is why don't we have them over for a play so we can see them interacting and teach them both to play nicely. Just a thought.
Dh wants the kid excluded or arrested lol. I am of a more lenient view and I know it could just as easily be my child acting up.

Nursery should not be telling you who the biter is! If you approached her she would be within her rights to complain that her child was named. I would do what Rita has said.

The nursery sounds pretty shoddy if they are failing to act to keep your child safe (what does "keeping an eye on" actually mean?) and pointing out the biter to you!

Is the playleader in charge? Is there a more senior person you can raise these concerns with?

It's a playschool as opposed to a day care nursery, the one before they start funded nursery places aged 3.
He goes twice a week for two hours.
There are about 15 kids and 2/3 staff. It's in a school.
It's a lovely group and I would hate for
Him to have to stop going.

I agree that it's not right that the nursery pointed out who the other child was! Also, I wouldn't take it so much at heart, really I don't see why your son would have to stop going to the playgroup because of this. That seems exaggerated to me. He'll probably have to deal with far worse than this in his 'school career'. I would concentrate on teaching him to say 'no!' when other children do something he doesn't like.

As for the biting, some children just go through phases where they bite, unpleasant as it is: in some cases it may even mean that this other child really likes your son & expresses it through biting :) Not that that makes it easier for your son, of course. I would certainly not talk to the other mum, it would only make her feel bad & guilty, and it's in most probability not because her child 'doesn't know how to play nicely' that she's doing this. It's probably ordinary aggression / or expression of affection which will pass.

Basically I agree with what the others have said, talk to the nursery headteacher or your son's keyworker, it's their responsibility to handle this.

It doesn't make a difference if it is a playschool or daycare, they still have to keep all the children safe (yours and the biter)

It makes it eve worse that they have a fairly high adult:child ratio for that age group, and he only goes for a few hours, yet they still aren't tackling this proactively.

You still need to meet with someone in charge and find out exactly what they will do to prevent your child being hurt.

gosh yes I agree

1 breaching confidentiality by telling you the identity of the other child involved - disgraceful

2 the pre school should be telling you what action they are going to take to protect your child. Of course we all understand that some children use biting, or pinching, or hair pulling, or kicking, as methods of getting what they want BUT pre school should have strategies to prevent, divert, distract, intervene. ''Keeping an eye out'' is just Not Good Enough

15 under threes with 2 staff?(or 3?) Isn't it supposed to be more staff for that age group?

Ah yes, my mistake - I was thinking the OP said the year before they start school so 3-4 year olds (which is 1:8 minimum).

If it's 15 2 year olds then they should have at least 4 staff (1:4).

If it's a mix of 2 and 3 year olds then they might be ok - eg 7 two year olds need 2 staff members, 8 three year olds need 1 staff member. They wouldn't be able to get away with only 2 staff unless all the children were 3+ though.