13 month old prefers Dad to me..

[ebmummy]

..Not to sound whiny or pathetic, but DS goes nuts whenever he sees DH, or my Mum and reaches out to be held by them. Now I honestly don't mind cos it's actually a blessed relief sometimes, but he's started to cry whenever I take him off them for a feed/nappy change/when DH leaves for work etc. Today, he wanted to stay with my Mum so much that when I took him off her for a minute for a bf before we went out, he actually cried at my breast, which he's never done before :(. It really made me sad.

I'm a stay-at-home Mum (first-timer), and I know that its cos he's bored of me, and likes seeing new faces. However, over the last few weeks, I've been cross with him on a few occasions and scolded him when he's done dangerous things, and I wonder whether that's affected him? He's usually a lovely smiley little boy when it's just the two of us (unless we're out in the buggy, which he hates), but as soon as he sees DH, or my Mum, he pushes me away and practically leaps into their arms. Is this normal? By being cross with him (which DH never is!), has it made him dislike/mistrust me?

Please don't worry yourself. Its nothing you've done and its perfectly normal.

I'm a SAHM and when my elddest was about the same age as your DS we went through the same thing. Then she went off DH and back onto me, crying whenever she saw him for about 3 months.

They are just processing things in their brains - its nothing personal.

By the say, eldest DD is now 5 and is fine with both me and DH and has been for ages.

Thanks ilovedjasondonovan (so did I!)...

I guess the narcissistic part of me wants DS to always want me, but in reality it's healthy that he wants to be with other people..

My son was EXACTLY the same, not interested in me at all, such a daddy's boy when he was a baby / small toddler - now he is nearly 3 and it is completely different, he is really attached to me and says things like 'I can't like Daddy anymore'!

They are fickle creatures, I wouldn't worry!

x

Edsmummy, I wasn't even that really aware of it, until my parents thought it was really 'cute' how DS only wanted them and not me...

It's normal, I promise. My daughter is the same at times. I do find it hard but remembering this helps me:

It's fantastic that your son has a great relationship with others (how many crap dads who do nothing are there out there?!)

You're his mum and he loves you unconditionally. You can't remember who you preferred at 13 months can you? Neither will your son, he'll just always know you're his mum and he loves you.

You are the adult and it is your job to love and care for your son always, he feels secure enough to test boundaries and form relationships with other people - that is a good thing.

Children change all the time and he'll have different favourites over the years (my sister's oldest child screamed with anyone else until she was about 3. Now she is 18 she is very, very close to her dad and not so to her mum). You just need to go with it.

It's a marathon not a sprint, your relationship is as his mum, always, not just the first bit.

All a bit garbled, but I repeat things like this to myself when DD has pushed me away (I've had a few health probs that have meant DH has looked after her more at times) and it has helped me a lot.

Thanks so much happygilmore. I feel pathetic for even discussing this, but it really upset me the other day when he was clinging onto my mum. Yet today, when she was around, he wasn't fussed either way! x

You're not pathetic, I promise! I feel like that too, but just keep telling yourself that you a good mum, you love him more than life and will do anything for him. That is what is important in the long term. You only get one mum!