Im asking for my sister. Neice is just 9, this has been going on for many years though (i know i know, therein lies the problem)
So she is argumentative. Not just about stuff that 8/9 year olds argue about, she is downright contrary.
eg friend.. "look theres a tiny robin".....niece "no it isnt, thats an eagle"
Sister "ahh you have your pink pjs on" Niece "no i havent, they are black"
get my meaning.
This would be easy to ignore, but it is making her unpopular amongst her peers and family kids.
She causes my sister deep deep stress when she takes her anywhere.
eg cinema, she refuses to speak quietly, sit still or not mess around with stuff.
When they go for a meal, and sis asks what she would like to eat, she says all sulkily nothing. Then casues chaos, wont sit down, sticking hand in glass fishing out ice cubes etc.
Thats a tiny bit of it. Clearly its attention seeking behaviour.
Unfortunately, with respect to my sister, no never means no, there always this "oh xx, please stop doing that" in a wet voice. Nothing is followed through.
No punishment does anything, i mean she actually does not care if stuff is talken off her, if she is sent to her room. She really does not care and is quite rude to sister when it is threatened.
Sis is very open to advice, it hard to advise, without sounding critical iyswim.
so i just tell her what works for us.
sis & neice lives with my mum, who is just the same as sis (which blows me away as my mum was a very agressive and violent mother to us when we were kids)
Just to add, neice is absolutely fine with me, she is gorgeous, funny, curious and happy, but i dont shout at her or bark orders at her, i talk and negotiate and give her choices. I parent in a very different way to sis & mum.
This isnt a bashing subject, its a genuine request for tips and advice, the issues are very big, so i think that one thing at once is the way to go possibly??