How Much Do Your 12 Week Old Babies Cry?

[rowanrowow]

I know it's a bit like asking how long is a piece of string but how much should a 12 week old baby cry? I as because my nearly 12 week old seems to spend a good 50% of his waking time grizzling and crying. It used to be 100% so I am grateful for small reduction but I seem to spend my day trying to soothe him. My question is, is it normal? We've had him at the paediatrician, dary free, trying reflux medication, nothing really cheers him up and I am now thinking he is just going to be miserable whatever we do :-( He doesn't like car seat, doesn't like the pram, doesn't feed particularly well dispite being a big baby. He just seems to shout and cry a hell of a lot more than other babies. I know they're all different but DS1 was a grumpy baby but not this bad. Any ideas?

my first hardly ever cried, only ever if he was really really hungry

my second cried a LOT. sounds v. similar to yours. thankfully we figured out that egg and milk were the issue and once I cut them both out of my diet completely he was so much better. I do think he is more "high needs" than my other 2 in general though... we had big cry-y/grizzly stages before he learned to sit up, then before he learned to crawl, then before walking... since then he's been much better!
sling helped a lot, he spent most of his first 6 months in one

my third I guess was a mixture of the 2!

They are all different and some are more sensitive/higher needs than others.

My first didn't cry much but that's cos we did what she wanted (ie to be held most of the time)

My second doesn't cry much as he is just a much more chilled baby. Things don't bother him as and you always have a good 10 mins from first moan to proper wailing. With dd she was either happy or full on wailing - no in between !

You can't turn a high need baby into a chilled out one. You just need to do whatever makes them happy.

Fwiw my eldest is now outgoing confident settles like a dream and sleeps through.

Does he settle when you feed him? Have you tried a dummy? My DS was only really happy if he was either feeding or had his dummy when he was that age I think. How often re you feeding?

Read DrSears high need baby's, some baby's are just like this. Try a sling to as this worked well for us.

strangely he doesn't seem to like being held. Going anywhere is a bit of a nightmare because he simply doesn't want to be sat on people's knees but does seem fairly happy laying on the play mat kicking about. Same with the bounber chair he can be happy in there for upto 30 minutes or so. He hates the pushchair and carseat though. He seems to not like being resticted or held which seems odd. Do I need to worry?

well, I think ds2 used to quite often cry when I first put him in the sling and then he would calm down.

but if your baby prefers to just lay on his mat or whatever then go with that!

do you have a pram with a carrycot? is he happy lying down in that?

Hello, my 11week old also cries constantly and it is driving me round the twist. I also have a demanding toddler to deal with which makes life pretty miserable currently. I am dairy-free (can't say it's helping), she is on reflux meds (can't say they're helping) and nothing I do seems to be able to settle her. She is breastfed and totally refusing a bottle, doesn't take a dummy but does like the sling (only when in her snowsuit so not sure what I'll do when it gets warmer!). I have a Kari-me and baby bjorn sling and she likes both. My only saving grace - but my toddler wants carrying a lot so
I can't do both! I'm also at my wits' end but it's reassuring to know I'm not alone in this!

Arrgh nic007 it's hell isn't it?! DS1 was a tricky baby who wanted to be constantly in motion which basically meant I didn't sit down for 9 months til he could crawl! But DS2 is just miserable whatever I do. I never know when a meltdown is coming. He seems to dislike being held and even walked about with so soothing him is difficult. He likes a dummy but can NOT keep it in so I end up having to hold it for him which obviously isn't doable all the time with a 4 yr old to look after etc. I just feel at my wits end really. I have absolutely no idea how to calm him sometimes and it's heartbreaking. I thought it was tough with DS1 and prayed it would be easier this time but it's just not and it's ten times as hard when it's your second child. DS2 hates the pushchair and car seat too so even the school run is challenging :-( It#s nice to know I am not alone but I hope things improve for us both soon! DS is the same with the Kari Me only likes it with snowsuit on and I have to keep walking!

Our dd was like this and I second the advice to read Dr Sears - 'The fussy baby book' or his website about high needs babies. I think for us 3-4 months was the worst, I can remember crying myself a few times at that stage. Some days it would seem that she was either feeding or screaming and that was about it. She hardly ever slept in the day (and not much in the night!) either. It gradually got better from about 4-5 months, and now at 11 months she is charming, sociable and energetic but still highly strung - gets easily frustrated, has to be on the move all the time and roars with indignation if she doesn't get her own way. I think some babies are just made that way, hang in there and it will get better!

thanks everyone. I've read a lot of what dr sears says as ds was very high needs too. Looks like lightening has struck twice and ds2 is another screamer ;-(

Hi, just seen this post and thought I would add that you are not alone. I thought DS1 was seriously hard work but DD2 is something else! She feeds constantly, screams constantly and sicks up milk constantly! She hates the car seat and pram. She can be happy on the changing mat or in her bouncy chair for up to 30 mins if being entertained and god forbid if you leave her to make a coffee or go to the loo! Anyway nothing has worked - infant gaviscon, cranial osteopath..

Its reassuring to know there are others out there struggling like us as it is really hard work when like myself you have a 4 year old to look after as well.
Hang in there ladies, it can only get better...

Oh May08 I think I remember you from when my DS1 was little. I was meandmyjoe and I am sure I spoke to you back then! How sad that lightening has struck us both again :-(

I am with you on the carseat and pram thing, DS1 was the same. Why oh why???!

Rowanrowrow, yes i remember you as meandmyjoe! I cant believe it has happened again to both of us! I thought I could never get another screamer 2nd time round - put it this way I certainly wont be risking a 3rd one!

Fingers crossed things will get easier for us all soon :)

I really wanted to enjoy this baby as i used to dread getting up in the morning with DS1 and i am ashamed to say I now feel the same with DD2...

Me too May08 I used to feel sick at the thought of entertaining DS1 all day. I am now quite ashamed of this as he is just the most amazing little boy. I know I am biased but he really is a great kid who is very reasonable and just lovely to be around so fingers crossed one day I will see DS2 in the same way! I am just exhausted by him at the minute :-( going anywhere for DS1 has become stressful as DS2 will kick off constantly and like you I really wanted to enjoy it this time round as it was so hellish last time. Needless to say I won't be having a hird either . Mind you, I did vow that DS1 would be an only child but then he grew into this clever, funny, calm little person and foolishly we thought we could do it all over again!

third ^ not hird!