Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

18 month old slapping other children - at my wits end

7 replies

MakeTeaNotWar · 12/03/2012 10:43

DD - 18 months - has always been spirited. For the past few months she has been slapping DH & I on the head and in the face. We don't slap at home so give her a stern "no" or encourage her to stroke instead and be gentle. She also slaps other children when they've got a toy or book that she wants. When this happens at nursery, they encourage her to say sorry to the other child and to give them a cuddle. I don't think this means much to her and she frequently will follow a slap with a cuddle then slap again.

However her behaviour has now escalated where she will walk up to a child and unprovoked, slap them across the face. I am increasingly uncomfortable taking her into the company of other children, I spend all my time refereeing and saying no and my constant "nos" have become background noise. Yesterday at a friend's, I felt the red mist descend as I was so frustrated with her behaviour, I removed her into a different room by herself for about 30 seconds each time (I've never done time out before as she really is still v young) but she became completely overwrought and worked up so after she attacked a child for the umpteenth time, we went and sat quietly in a bedroom just the 2 of us until she calmed down.

I have read through some of the advice here but we seem to be doing it already if anyone else can help? Really feeling quite desperate and worried my child is destined to be the playground bully.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
StrandedBear · 12/03/2012 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 12/03/2012 11:56

Yep

Tis a stage. She has found that slapping/hitting is a v effective method to get a toy or whatever, and also that a slap or hit gets a payout, attentionwise, from you.

So you

Archemedes · 12/03/2012 11:57

I just wanted to give you a big e-hug.

I've been here, its horrible isnt it , you do everything your supposed to with no avail and then for was the feeling of judgement that made it worse.

My ds was 2 and was just slapping everybody. its so horrible. He just sort of calmed down and went out of the phase it took a few weeks I mean he still does it on occasion but not in the same way.

I know it means nothing now but it will get better.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 12/03/2012 11:59

Sorry, hit send too soon

So you need to be down on floor with her, ready to block/parry/intercept blows, divert and or distract as you read her signs that. A slap is imminent

As her verball skills

BoysAreLikeDogs · 12/03/2012 12:00

Fycking phone

As her verbal skills develop the slapping will fade away

Ok, am done, hopefully you can make sense of disjointed posts grrr

MakeTeaNotWar · 12/03/2012 20:36

Thanks for the advice, good to know I'm not the only one even though it does feel like it. Looks like I need to be patient and consistent, dear god hope it passes soon

OP posts:
Irisim · 12/03/2012 21:54

Had a similar problem with my 18month DD, who was biting in nursery when wanted a toy.
I caught her in action, and was very upset with her. I told her exactly how I felt and was very cross all the way home and when she came to play with me (all together for about 15 min).
She hasn't bitten since, and is much better about sharing in general.

Time out is a good idea, just make sure that she does not begin to see it a quality time with you.

Iris, family consultant

New posts on this thread. Refresh page