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advice with my ds and school please

7 replies

pinkdaisy · 12/03/2012 10:38

Since my son was at pre-school there have been issues with his attention span and his listening, and this seems to have followed him to school, he is now in reception and has found himself on a behavior chart, as he fidgets a lot in class and if he is told to be in one part of the room and his friends are in another part she will turn around and he will be with his friends instead of what he is supposed to be doing. The teacher said she wants to get the head teacher to come and observe him in class, as she's not sure how to handle him as the chart doesn't seem to work very well with him. I asked what he is doing and she said fidgeting and wondering around the class room. She says he seems to attach himself to one child and follows them. She said he answers questions well and it's not an academic problem, as he's doing ok this side, but he doesn't listen well and has a short attention span! He was labelled like this at the pre school, and I am worried that this label is going to follow him everywhere. He is a little bit boisterous when playing with his friends sometimes,but no more than his friends. but he is very sharing, and isn't nasty or anything like that to any other children. She said he is a popular boy with lots of friends, but it's the not listening and following instructions which is causing the problem.

He is no angel, believe me, and the not listening and getting distracted drives me nuts too, although he seems to have gotten a lot better at home over the few months, and on a daily basis he's a good boy. He gets silly and way over excited when people come over and we go out which is a problem, as I think he finds it hard to channel his excitedness into anything and just makes himself look like he has adhd when he doesn't!!!! Helllllppppp!!!!!

OP posts:
conorsrockers · 12/03/2012 11:31

I had a similar problem with DS3, he is in Rec now. The school said he can't help it and it would be dealt with gradually over time, but I wasn't happy with this. I started taking him to Karate as he had to stand still and do as he was told - Karate Leadership UK is good, they get lots of stickers/rewards. I also told him that this was unacceptable and I would be speaking to his teacher at the end of the day to find out if he had been sitting still/following instructions, in which case he would get a sticker. If he had 5 stickers at the end of the week he got to play computer games (his favourite weekend activity!), it took one weekend of no computer games at all to realise I was serious and the turn around was almost instant! The school thought I was being quite hard, but last parents evening they said that I had been right and the problem is now completely sorted. Which was nice! Obviously you don't want to put your DC off school, but you know how far you can push them. I would look into getting him involved in activities that require concentration - the result may not be instant, but IMHE it will help.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 12/03/2012 12:26

Hearing test firstly

DeWe · 12/03/2012 12:42

I'd suggest a hearing test too. My ds can be like this, and he has hearing problems.

pinkdaisy · 12/03/2012 13:09

He has his hearing tested 6 monthly as he failed hearing tests as a baby, he has also had grommets fitted which have fallen out a couple of months ago, but at the last hearing test they said his hearing seems fine. If anything it is selective, like his father's. I was almost hoping this was the problem as then there would be a cause and a solution, although obviously am pleased that it's not. That makes me sound like a terrible mother, it's just terribly frustrating.

OP posts:
SeaweedNK · 12/03/2012 13:33

Pinkdaisy, I assume the grommets are there to treat otitis media (glue ear)? In that case, the effect on his hearing ability will vary depending upon the amount of fluid in his ear canal at the time. He may be passing his hearing tests but that doesn't mean that his hearing is not affected by the grommets from time to time.

I would ask for him to be seated close to the teacher and for her to specifically check that he has heard, understood and processed instructions given out to the class. Perhaps this could be done for a trial period to see if there is a change in his behaviour? If there's no impact then you can re-assess and try another strategy.

pinkdaisy · 12/03/2012 13:43

That's a brilliant idea SeaweedNK, i am going to have a word with them when I pick him up. I assumed that as he passed his tests that meant he was fine, I didn't take this into account, I will definitely try this. The teacher said that he is attracted to the other boys in the class who have a similar personality to him, the trouble is, how do I control who he plays with in school. I obviously control who he plays with outside of school, and I have spoken to him and suggested he plays with the other children, but he then gets upset as to why he shouldn't play with his friends! It's soooo hard. I am definitely going to suggest the move to sit nearer the teacher though. Many thanks. x

OP posts:
conorsrockers · 12/03/2012 16:11

DS1 had glue ear and grommets - in yr3 the teacher suggested I send him for a hearing test, which I did - the next day, privately :( The consultant wrote a letter to his teacher saying that there was absolutely nothing wrong with his hearing and therefore there are no excuses for his apparent selective hearing. On discussing this with DS3 with teacher at school he gave a wry smile (he'd been trying it on) and that was that done and dusted - Rec is a little too young to be so conniving though!!!

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