Advice/help please, I'm desperate, 15 month old screaming and waking

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Sorry if I ramble on....DD2 is 15 mnths and ever since being ill in December with what started as bad cough/cold that came/went/came/went and ended up with ear infection in january her sleep pattern has been totally destroyed and she is waking at various times during the night. We always put her to bed at 7 and have good bedtime routine, she self settles in her cot with just a dummy and teddy so in theory should self settle again when she wakes during the night. But she doesn't...as an example on Friday she woke at 10 to 10, we ignored her for a few mins to see if she would drop back off but she started to cry and we could hear her moving around so I went in to her. She was standing up so I said "sleep time, lie down" (she is able to lie herself back down) but she started "bouncing" holding on to end of cot. I repeated myself and I laid her back down and walked out. Immediately she started screaming and stood straight back up again. She threw her dummy and teddy out of the cot so I put them back in and repeated again, sleep time, lie down and laid her down. Basically the screaming continued on and off (with very little "off"!) until after midnight...I offered her water in case she was thirsty, checked her nappy, gave her calpol in case she had teething pain but nothing worked. There were no tears, it seems as though she was screaming purely in temper and she ended up shaking she had been exerting so much effort. I hadn't got cross or raised my voice, in fact I'm proud of myself for keeping my cool! This pattern has been going on now since January and can occur at any point in the night, Saturday was 2am til half 4, then up again at 6am as though she'd had a full nights sleep. My DH, DD1 and I are all shattered and its causing stress on us as a family
We have tried controlled crying with her, it didn't work, she just made herself sick; tried the "stay in the room and increase the distance you move away" theory, didn't work; tried the trick which worked with DD1 where you don't acknowledge them simply lie them back down and walk back out (only took 2 nights with DD1 and she slept brilliantly after that) and I don't know what else to do. Can anyone offer any advice please???
Also as another point she has started screaming during the day if she wants something and doesn't get it, and then throws herself backwards on the floor so bangs her head if I ignore her. I don't want to give in to her but equally don't want her to hurt herself. She doesn't like being told no but distraction techniques aren't working either! Starting to really doubt ourselves as parents

Cosleep? She is still so little and at 15 months is unable to make sense of the world or manage her emotions. She probably just needs to be close to someone to feel secure. Good luck.

Thanks Piggy, forgot to put that on my list! But we have tried her in our bed but she doesn't sleep in there either! She squirms and wriggles, ends up headbutting DH and kicks/digs her feet in my ribs! Ouch! Then keeps standing up, chucks her dummy down the end of the bed and cries for it back, and generally doesn't settle the way I thought she would if she was close to us (unlike DD1 who used to come in with us when she was poorly and it always helped calm her).

Oh dear maybe not then

Sorry, no other suggestions, cosleeping has got us through the last 2 years, we never tried anything else.

Hope someone more useful comes along soon!

Thanks Piggy, me too...I wish it would work for us cos I actually quite like having a little one snuggling to sleep next me..its a very special feeling

No advice but my 14mo dd2 is doing exactly the same. She won't even self settle when we put her down anymore.

Co-sleeping doesn't work, she just thinks its play time.

Atm we are putting her to bed, she's screaming for up to 2 hours of being picked up cuddles etc. She will fall asleep but can be up 3-4 times in the night and then up for the day at 4.30.

I'm exhausted but hoping that her being ill recently has caused it and now she is better, hopefully things will improve.

DS (DC3) is going through something similar and is 13.5m. Started because of being ill, then four molars coming through at once (:() and sniffles.

Can't help with more advice, but I do think you're trying the right things, even if they don't seem to be working now. I bloomin' well hope so, as this can't go on much longer, can it?!

LOL, I bloomin' well hope so too Flubba! My worry is that DD2 is going to take after my sister who was also 2nd child and didn't sleep right until she was 5!!! My mum used to despair...when she asked Emma why she didn't like going to bed her answer was always "cos sleeping's boring"!!!!
But thanks to both of you, glad to know its not something we are doing wrong and that other Mums have same problem..not that I want you to have problem obvs!!

Has she got a dim nightlight in the room? Sometimes infants become afraid of the dark around that age, and if they've happily settled in a pitch black room, it can suddenly freak the out.

Is she still napping during the day? IF not, she could be overtired. Around 1.5 years, one nap 1-2 hours just after lunch would be normal, although one of mine dropped it just after that age.

BTW, sounds like you are keeping your cool and being very patient with your DD. Can't think what else to say, I had one who was up x2 a night till he was 2, but only for a drink, then back to sleep - and that almost killed me. Not sure what else to suggest, but surely other MNers will have some other strategies for you to try.

Hi Lego, yes she has a nightlight, always has done so nothings changed in that respect. She still has a nap during the day, usually 30-40 mins in the morning and then an hour after lunch or sometimes she will miss the morning nap and sleep for a bit longer after lunch. But thanks for trying to help, always nice to hear from others x

At that age they sometimes get a sudden increase in energy so increasing their daytime activity can help - especially afternoon activity.

I found that cutting out the second sleep and making nap time more of a midday thing really helped and gave me time in the afternoon to take them out for some high-intesnsity romping about. Wearing the out can really make a big difference. You know what it's like (vaguely remember anyway) what it's like to have lots of energy pumping though your body when you're meant to be trying to sleep?

During the day I would just get tough. She won't do herself any real harm, but rewarding her strops with attention may just prolong your pain. I'm also a big fan of tickle punishment. If you catch them when you know they are just about to get all cranky and tickle them it can really change the dynamic. Works for my boys anyway!

Good luck!

Well, we had one of our worst nights last night :(

Finally got her to sleep at 9.30 (after 2 hours of crying) she woke at 11 (cried for 30 min) back to sleep, up again at 1.30am. Could not get her to settle so ended up on the sofa with her until 5.45am. Got her to go to sleep in my bed but was up for the day at 6.30am.

I am on the verge of tears today. We both work but dp's job is very long hours and is quite dangerous (heavy machinery) so I do the majority of the nights. I'll get some sleep at the weekend when he is off but I don't think I can last until then.

Oh mumatron, I really feel for you. I keep telling myself that this is a transient phase and won't last forever.

Drink tons of water today, it really helps me when I'm sleep deprived.

Thanks piggy I've had a snooze on the bus on my way to work

Dp has just text to say he is finishing work early so he can get dd2, go home cook and tidy up so I can come straight in from work and sleep. Made me cry a little with relief!

We've just been through this with 26mo DD and it started with an on/off cold, throat infection, ear infection type illness in January. Countless unexplained sleepless nights later by which time DP and i were totally zombified having tried everything, the illness came back suddenly last week.

Dr reckons DD has had a virus the whole time which has been on and off and prescribed some antibiotics to sort it out and 2 days into the course, we had our first full nights sleep in ages!

Might be worth considering if it's something like that...feel for you though as ongoing sleep deprivation is horrible and draining. Look after yourselves as it's easy to get run down and sick at times like this

Dd was ill just before xmas, cold/cough etc. Got over that then a week later tonsilitis. Just after that she had another virus and infected nappy rash. Antibiotics cleared that up and she got another viral thing just after.

2 weeks ago she had yet another viral bug, then tonsilitis again. 2nd lot of antibiotics. Last week she had a ear infection resulting in a perforated ear drum. 3rd lot of antibiotics just finished.

I'm really hoping her sleep improves when her health does.

Could she still have an ear infection? My DS was terrible for a while and it turned out he had an ear infection which became terribly painful when he lay down.

She doesn't appear to bubba but we're back to the docs on wes to get her ear checked anyway.

Another one with a toddler just starting to do this, 17 month old Dd2. And I too have no advice, just nice to know we're not alone. My poor 6yr old Dd1 looked shattered this morning on her way to school, she said she couldn't sleep because of the crying . I'm really hoping it's just a faze

Ah thanks everyone , made me feel better reading all your posts and knowing I'm not alone and that I don't have a pyscho baby!!!
Mumatron, you really have my sympathy, sleep deprivation really is a form of torture, I have cried so much recently I'm keeping Kleenex in business!! So glad your DH was able to finish work early to help you.
Damn all these horrible viruses and infections our LO's are suffering with, they have a lot to answer for! And yes Jcee, I too did get v poorly with being run down and sleep deprived, so hard to get better when your defences are low.
Bubba, gonna try your ideas, fingers crossed they will help
Wimba, poor 6 yr old DD, my DD1 is 6 too and she is exactly the same, feel so sorry for her..I've been in to explain to the teacher in case she wonders why she is suddenly so tired or tearful. She slept at Grandmas last night so she could get a peaceful nights sleep for once I very nearly joined her!!!
Hope you all have better nights tonight...we can live in hope!!