9 year olds

[cunningham64]

My 9 nine year old girl has been appearing in my bed every night for the last 5 years, since my divorce. I've tried everything I can think of to get her to stay in her own room, but nothing has worked.
Have had a custom made bed for her, decorated to her choice, tried bribery even. Nothing seems to work. Any suggestions please, I really dont think its healthy for her (or me) and she gets very emotional and upset when I try to talk to her about this. And I hate to see her upset.
Thank you.

Have you tried just putting her back? Marching her back to her room? I KNOW that's hard as both of mine were bed infiltrators....but you're right...it's not that good once they reach an older age.

Maybe say to her that she,s a big girl now that needs to be in her own bed. That you are not far away just to reassure her. say how fun it would be though to have a girlie sleepover at the weekends with her in your bed. As everyone knows that you go back to your own bed once the sleepover is finished. Hope this could help?

'Fraid you will have to just grit your teeth and start saying 'no'. Once she understands you mean business on this, there are lots of things you can do to make it seem like a benefit.

Before biting the bullet, maybe you could buy matching soft toys, twins, one for each of you?

The first time she goes right through without waking you, take her a really fancy breakfast in bed. Go out for breakfast together at the weekend if she goes all week in her own bed.

Make letterboxes for one another. Leave a message in hers every night so she knows she is the last thing you think of before she goes to bed. Encourage her to leave one for you if she wakes.

Before long she will start asking for sleepovers and you'll be wishing you'd left her in your bed!