Anyone here have hearing loss as a child, or is a parent of an older child who had/has hearing loss?

[AllAboutSteve]

Could I ask if you/they had/have problems with feeling isolated socially, had difficulty making/keeping friends, perhaps because your/their listening/interacting skills aren't quite the same as other people's?

I'm asking because my D2 (age 9) seems to have difficulty with social situations, she doesn't seemto know how to interact with people properly, even thogh she is pretty outgoing. Her older sister didn't have any hearing problems as a young child and it all seems to come naturally to her.

DD2 has ok hearing now, but still doesn't pay attention when people are talking and seem to find it hard to take on board other people's views, which I put down to her being in her own world for quite a long time when she was younger. Any ideas about this or suggestions to help?

Polite bump

Yes - but mainly during the years when I was told I didn't have a problem. Once it became clear that I had other hearing loss that wasn't glueear etc, docs were impressed at how I;d coped til then and over the years i learnt better ways to cope.

but still got a report from an eminent Cambridge professor saying he found me intimidating! it certainly wasn't for my knowledge and turned ou t that i kept talking over him as i didn't know he'd started talking - so we agreed he could kick me to get me to shut up! Also have had times when someone thinks i'm chatting them up as at social gatherings end up talking one-on-one as can't follow large groups. on the whole this has been useful.

best advice is to encourage cinfidence and being upfront about potential issues - I email people before starting new jobs asking them to face me, repeat or write as needed, and please ensure the gossip and info about cakes brought in is told to me as I don't hear general conversations. for kids it's harder but any conversation skills and confidence will help. a deaf friend says it's very like having as0pergers (any online quiz results in deafies 'having' asd) and info on conversations can really help.

notcitrus - that is really helpful, thankyou. It is impressive how people can develop coping strategies without realising it sometimes.

I can see the 'can't follow large groups' in dd2 - she much prefers one to one too as I suppose it is less exhausting for her ears.

Do you think your hearing loss has meant that your listening skills aren't good, even when you can hear what people are saying iykwim?

I know that dd2 pretty much tunes out noise that isn't directed at her, so she misses out on those quips and conversations that act like social glue .

If I'd got hearing aids before age 14 (technically unlikely anyway - only got one for left ear aged 24), I'd be better at interpreting what I hear. It's the same problem with older people who put off getting aids - they forget how to interpret noise so once they can physically hear it again, it doesn't help them understand much more.

So being upfront is the only way to go. At least nowadays everyone writes texts to each other in nightclubs...
Only other point to note is that paying attention in order to hear can be really tiring - I can use an amplified phone and usually understand someone if their accent has vowels the right length, but it is exhausting! If I'm on the phone for an hour to anyone other than dp or my mum, I need a nap after. Conference calls - I just say no!

The lighting in a room also makes a huge difference even when you don;t notice you're lipreading (which everyone does), so if she gets used to asking her friends to go to the well-lit table, and for her to sit in front of the window so others aren't in silhouette, and generally articulating her needs, that's more useful than all the technology that exists (not that radio aids and textphones etc aren't handy, but learning to use them and get rooms set up for them can be a full time job in itself for not much benefit).

Of course,she could just be a typical self-centred 9yo...

Me, I had hearing loss as a child which has mostly resolved, but still do not have full range and find situations with noise coming from multiple sources difficult.

I still am like your daughter and it drives my DH bonkers as I can easily tune out and not hear him calling me even loudly when engaged in a book/tv program. I find one-to-one easier too as I like to lip read and listen when there is a lot of background noise from different sources as it is less tiring. DH asks me to face him now when he is having a conversation with me so that I hear everything he says and stay engaged.

I only realised how tiring it is one day when I was teaching a science class and felt like my head was swimming with all the clinking glassware, background talking and children asking questions, it was really disorientating. I felt like I was in a fish bowl.

Your DD might find situations with large amounts of noise from different sources difficult such as the playground, dining hall and certain classroom activities a problem too. This could be affecting her social skills as she will not be able to engage fully in group activities with her peers.

One way for the school to support with that would be for her to be given duties with one other classmate where she would have one-to-one talking opportunities. Seating position in the classroom will also be important, if she drifts during teacher explanations seating her near the front might help. Also for her to join clubs where there are opportunities for small group work or being on school council might build her confidence.