9 month old still feeding throughout the night - is it needed?

[misshoohaa]

Hi all,
I'm really struggling with my DS1 at the moment. He's never been a great sleeper, but is almost worse now that ever before.
I put him onto formula about a month ago and he's now waking between 2-3 times and the only way he'll go back to sleep is with a bottle.
He self settles to get to sleep with no dummy, or rocking etc but has a little muslin comforter.

He's not a huge eater but does polish of 15-20 ounces of milk a day plus 3 reasonable meals so can't imagine that he's that starving!

He's a very bright and active little thing, crawling at 7 and furniture walking by 8 months.

He sleeps no more than 3 hours in the day, approx 3 hour long naps.

I'm really struggling and last night found myself feeling quite on edge when I finally gave up and went into him when he first woke at 10:30. I'm keen for any advice to try and get him sleeping better. Im not after a miracle but am hoping to cut him back to one night feed rather than multiple!

Any advice appreciated.

I'm sure it's not needed! My little one is nearly 10 months old and slept through the night from about 2 weeks old (6-hour stretches at the beginning, then from about 2 months old, she would sleep for 10 hours). She's always been a good weight, and never seemed to miss night feeds.

Last week, for four nights in a row, she woke up. She wasn't hungry, and refused feeds - she just wanted to be cuddled. I think it's separation anxiety kicking in. Anyway, we dealt with it by lying down beside her cot and holding her hand. She fell asleep within minutes each night, and now she's back to her usual sleepyhead self!

We have also started feeding her mashed banana with milk before bed. Apparently banana contains triptophan (spelling???) which can induce sleep. It seems to have been very effective.
HTH.

Doesn't need the milk - I would be inclined to offer water. And then put in some earplugs to deal with the fallout! Joking aside, he's unlikely to give up the night time milk without a battle, so prepare yourself.We all have different tolerance levels for crying, so decide what you are/aren'y happy with.

Also, 3 hours of napping seems quite a bit - have you thought about trying to cut it down a bit?

My DS is 10 mo and sleeps from 7-5:30/6, has done for a couple of months now. My issues are early waking, but I am trying to tackle that by reducing daytime naps. We have recently cut down to two - about 2 hours in total, guess we did that over the last 6 weeks or so?

HTH

It's perfectly natural for a baby to wake for milk/comfort in the night.

Doesn't need it my ass.

Don't you lot ever wake up thirsty or needing to go to the toilet or hungry or from a bad dream or from just being lonely or needing a cuddle from your dp/dh.

If your baby is drinking the milk, they are obviously hungry or thirsty. If they're not then they probably just want a cuddle/some reassurance that you're there.

I like to think of "sleeping through the night" or rather settling themselves back to sleep if they wake as a developmental milestone. Like all other milestones, they will do it when they are ready.

I'm with Priscilla, who is anyone (but your baby) to say 's/he doesn't 'need' it' - of your baby is drinking the milk you offer and happily going back to sleep, I'm inclined to think they do need it. Sure it'd be nice if DS (13 months) could go heck even 4 hours a night without a feed but he wriggles and grunts, has a quick feed (where he drinks what sounds like a pint of milk) rolls over and goes back to sleep. Night-feeding a 9-month-old is not going to spoil them and it won't last forever

Of course the baby is going to drink the milk...very few wouldn't! The point is that if there's always milk offered then they'll continue to wake up for it - it's basic conditioning. And he'll never learn to stock up on his milk in the day if he knows he'll get it at night.

I'm not advocating letting the baby cry for hours on end. But if she wants to reduce the night wakings (which it sounds like she does, hence posting) then I'd consider offering water. That way OP will know that she's not leaving her DS thirsty, but will hopefully start to break the association of needing milk to go back off to sleep.

Misshoohaa how many bottles is your DS having in the day? We're still on 4. I tried to drop it down to 3 but he became more unsettled in the night so I upped it again. Something else that I have used is Hipp organic goodnight milk. It's a slightly thicker formula that can take a bit longer to digest - I got my first 7-6 when I first used it at about 7 months.

Thanks littlemilla for the advice, appreciate you posting.

I completely appreciate that it's more than common for a baby to want comfort in the night and am very happy and willing to tend to him whatever he needs 24/7! I just was wondering if 2-3 6 ounce bottles are really necessary.

I'll try settling him with some water tonight although I can imagine it's going to be a battle.

He has 4 bottles a day still, I'm quite generous with the milk in the waking hours hoping it will sustain him through the night! I'm also trying to encourage a beaker as advice suggests.

Better night of sorts last night I guess, or perhaps its just that his first waking was before I'd gone to bed myself so I didn't have to heave myself out! Takes the sting out!

I'll give the nighttime milk a go too.
Thanks ladies.

Try the mashed half-banana too - I swear by it! Good luck!

Hi there, I have a 1 year old DS. When he was 8 months old, I had a similar problem to you. He would wake up at 3am wanting a feed (which he didn't need as he was drinking enough milk in the day and eating quite well!) and I would give it to him. Repeated nights of DS waking up hungry continued to occur.

Crunch time came when I made the decision to go back to work. I knew I would not be able to function on disturbed sleep and realised it was not good for DS either. I made the decision to try controlled crying (I had been uncomfortable with the idea before but had to give it a go).

When he woke up at 3am, I would leave him for a few minutes and if he didn't settle I would go into his room and say 'it is time for sleepies now. Goodnight'. The crying continued, I went up 2 minutes later, did the same. The crying continued, I went in 5 minutes later. Did the same. Then 10 minutes. Eventually, he went to sleep.

The next two nights were the same. By the third night, DS slept through until 7am, and the next night! I now have a baby content to go to bed and I am contented mummy!

I noted that your DC does not eat much in the day - this is why he is waking up at night perhaps? The controlled crying might break the cycle so that he will not wake up hungry, because when you feed him in the night, he wont be hungry in the day!

Obviously controlled crying is not for everyone but it worked for me and a couple of difficult nights have been worth it for the length of sleep we get now. Good luck! x

U say that he's only been on forms for a month or so? I would be inclined to think that it was for comfort, he prob misses the closeness of bf and if he draining the night botttles that he prob is thirsty. I would maybe give him milk the 1st he wakes and then offer water after that and see how it goes over a week or so. I agree with priscilla with reasons for waking, baby's are human after all.

Hi all.
Thanks for the replies. We had a miraculous night last night - 10 hours without waking. Can't quite believe it. Not sure why, we did a few things different yesterday. First was trying the hungry baby milk before bed and a banana! and we also bought a vaporiser. I also left him to cry for about 45 mins when I put him down. Was really hard but I knew he was fed, changed, safe and tired!!
I've left him to self settle during the day but in the evening I break, so was determined to see it through this time.

I'm sure it was just a one off but it's a start!

45 minutes straight?

I'd struggle to listen to that. :(

i think that 9 months is a common time for a sleep regression, if you Google for more info it might help. babies wake more when they have developmental things going on like learning to roll (4 monthsish) and maybe standing at 9 months etc.

My ds2 does this! Very annoying! Health visitor suggested watering down milk so in the end it's just water I'm offering but doing it through a gradual process!

DD (9mos) feeds through the night (bf). Her brothers did too. All of mine seem to bf through the night until they are about 12mos. I co-sleep till then, which is probably why. I would go with the flow a bit longer. You might find that now he sometimes wakes and sometimes doesn't, and in 6 months time he prob won't be.

How near too bed time did u give mashed banana?

My 13 months old has a big bottle at 3ish in the morning and I'm thinking of trying to start watering it down, although part of me thinks 12 hours is a lot to go through without food so I'm not sure... Banana before bed didn't make any difference, he can have a big tea, banana an hour later and then milk before bed, but he will still wake up hungry at 3am. Also, I tried the goodnight milk everyone seems to swear by and it only made him more unsettled.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm sitting on the fence with this one, they might not need feeding but they certainly need something, hence waking up, and I'm a big softie and can't really toughen up.

I found the same thing! No matter how much food he has he still wakes up! Too much of a wimp to do controlled crying but need to do something!!!

Also too tired to do disappearing chair thing too! Hoping he stops by himself?!

misshoohaa really chuffed for you - hurrah! I know that some haven't got on with the goodnight milk, but I have found it to be great. And over time I am trying to mix it more with regular milk. I think if anything, I know that he's not hungry if/when he wakes up - especially as they start to get fully established with solids (which I'd say we are now at 10 mo).

Not sure if you've seen a book called Wonder Weeks. Someone mentions 9 mo sleep regression and you'll read about it in here. WONDERFUL book and I alwyas have a check whenever DS goes a bit skeewiff - not normally just sleep, but usually clingy etc too if it is a regression.

It's hard to know what to do for the best - leaving him to cry was tough but being at the end if my tether i felt the need to try it. I completely appreciate few 9 months old sleep through & I'm happy to get up to my DS during the night but I think waking 2-3 times a night often within two hours of going down, and only settling with milk indicated he was waking out of habit so something had to give and I have found that going in and leaving again just winds him up.

And more to the point he's slept better since. We've only had one night waking in the two nights since and both after 4am so I feel like I did what I needed to to break the milk habit. I didn't enjoy the crying at all, hated every minute of it but I felt in control, and had made the decision to see it through, unlike the night before where I went in to him and felt hugely frustrated and angry.

I'm aware of the sleep regression at developmental stages but my little one has just had one long sleep regression since birth! The nights where he's gone more than 5 hours between waking are few and far between.

Thanks littlemilla was very exciting when he went through till 5:30! although I didn't sleep any better, I checked him about 4 times! He went through till 4 last night and tonight woke after an hour but I left him and he just groaned and moaned for 15 minutes and now all is quiet - well for now!!
Thanks for the book tip, I'll have a look. Tizzie hall's book is one I always go back to, I know there are a lot of haters of hers out there but some of her theory is helpful.

wrenner I guess read all the advice & work out a plan and stick to it, you know how your feeling, your patience levels for crying, and what your baby responds to - so armed with that all you can do is your best.

We've recently come through a shitty slightly tough phase of early waking. I am now awake from about 5:30am in anticipation of him waking and sometimes that's leaving me lying there for over an hour - nuts! Even when you get the sods sleeping 'through' it takes a while for us to readjust I think, so blummin used to dire sleeping!! Ha.

Good luck x

I've read loads of books and he's my 2nd too so I know what to do just can't seem too do it?! Seriously he woke at 7pm, 10pm,12pm and 5 am and gas 7 ozs of milk at each waking!! Like what's been said I know it's a habit but then think if he drinks it he must b hungry??! Also when he's teething he won't eat and then i feel like he needs the milk. Joke is he slept through from birth practically even when bf But got croup ,bronchitis and ear and urine infection not all at once obviously! Think this has formed the habit of cuddles and milk! U have given me courage though I can do it too!