Am I am slave to the routine?

[DollyDaisy]

Bit of background

DS (now 11 months) was a total nightmare for the first 5 months sleep wise. To be honest I really didn't have a clue and am sure most of it was my own doing! He cried a lot during the day, woke frequently during the night and I was utterly exhausted and stressed by the whole experience

Anyway between 5-6 months he really got in the groove of a routine and for the last 5 months has pretty much done the following every day

7.30 ish wake up
10.30 - 12.30 sleep
4.30 ish occasional 20mins sleep in the car / buggy
7pm sleep through

Am totally thrilled with how well he is sleeping - it really is life changing compared to the despair of the first 5 months.

BUT I am now wondering if I have become a slave to the routine. Most days we don't leave the house until past 2pm as by the time he's woken from the morning nap and had lunch etc it's getting on. And that doesn't give me much time to do much, since we've then got to be back for milk and tea at 5

I am beginning to feel a little isolated as most baby classes run in the morning - and by the time we are up and out, everyone is is napping!

What do you think?

I found that as my DSs got older they dropped down to just needing one nap - have you tried experimenting with this? Could you try having lunch at 11.30/12pm and then putting him down for one longer nap?

Probably sounds scary but I know that round here most classes and groups are in the morning - with DS1 we missed out on a lot because he still had a morning nap, with DS2 I just forced him into sleeping when it suited what was happening!

Hi Dolly

i know how you feel! i have my LO (14 weeks) in such a good routine where he will sleep 7-7 (i wake him up at 10pm for a dream feed) and he naps easily that I am terrified of breaking the routine. But like you all the clubs and classes i want to go to seem to fall when he is napping.

He is such a happy contented baby when he sleeps well, but then I also worry that im not being a good parent as I am not taking him to lots of different classes and stuff!!

can't win!!

I would try and hold him off until 12ish for the nap. Most toddler classes in my area start at 9:30-11 so we go and have lunch at 11:30 and nap at 12.

Usually until about 12 months if you have a routine they have a short nap a couple of hours after waking, then are awake another couple of hours when you do morning playgroups/music/park etc, then lunch and another longer nap (2 hours or so) (mine were up about 7-30/8, back in bed by 930 for 45mins only, then out and about til lunch and nap from 1230 til about 2-30/3pm). Around 12 months they drop the morning sleep, which gives all morning to get out, maybe bring lunch a little earlier during the transition, nice sleep at lunch then the afternoon to play. May seem very routiney, but allows lots of outside play too particularly after 12 months....

My Lo naps 9-945, then 12-2 ish. But all the clubs and stuff around my area are literally 1-2 which sucks. I did go once and sit with a sleeping baby but kind of defeats the purpose!

I might get flamed for this, but oh well.

The babywhisperer forum has quite a lot of info on routines.

There are sample routines here
And an idea of day/night time sleep requirements here

Bear in mind every baby is different and these 'requirements' are the BW's opinion rather than 'fact'. There is info on there also about tweaking routines.

The BW reckons that most babies are not ready to move to one nap until between 12 and 18 months.

Can you gently try to push his nap time later.

You say he goes down at 10.30am so try keeping him up until 10.45am for a few days, then 11am and so on and so forth.

By the time you get him to 12-2 or similar, you can have lunch at 11.30 and and you'll be able to go to groups in the morning.

Plus I always found toddler groups much better after 18months.

I think it is fine to be a bit of a slave to routine, as it makes your life easier, but you probably can tweek it so that the times work better for you. With DD we pretty much did baby whisperer type routine. At 11 months she would have:
7am wake
9am nap (usually 45 mins to an hour) (works well so you can get yourself showered and ready for the day at this time)
12ish-2/3pm nap
7pm bed

She also kept both naps until about 18/20 months then she went down to one until age 3 when she drop her afternoon one too.

I found routine was lovely to have, not early on but as you say, from 5 months, but it changed (that's the thing about babies they grow and change) so that quite soon morning nap dropped until after lunch. Lunch a bit earlier, and lots of energetic activities in morning. Brief nap in buggy or straight after 9.30 if they woke really early, but only brief morning nap. I always had a rest after lunch too! It was bliss, I remember it being a very happy time always having that afternoon break!

Anyway when spring comes there are advantages to your existing routine as it is lovely to go out to the park in the afternoon! I think if you have managed to get the baby to sleep in his cot for naps it is a priceless gift that many mothers would kill for (they have to walk their baby to get the long nap in) so don't feel bad if there are few disadvantages to your routine at present.

Actually I'd say put him down for his morning nap earlier, not later. Give him 45 minutes or so at about 9.30 so he's up around 10.15, then lunch around 12.30 and second nap straight after that.

I've always thought it was bonkers that most baby stuff is in the mornings (we never went to any) given that they nearly all sleep in the morning until they're about 15 months.

Even if you don't change the times, I wouldn't try to drop him down to one nap yet - average is 15 months to drop to one and my dd was still having two when she was 20 months (though DS is giving his up and is 16 m).