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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is 16 months a difficult age to ditch the dummy?

19 replies

DameFlatYouLent · 08/03/2012 11:35

I'm getting really fed up with DS's dummies, but he is completely addicted. He only uses them in his cot, and goes down to sleep brilliantly both for nap and at night.

Trouble is he wakes once or twice (sometimes far more) in the night, generally because he's lost it. I'm pg (1st trimester - shattered) with DC2 and am wondering if it's a good idea to crack it now, or if this is a bad age to try, and should I wait until he understands things like the dummy fairy?

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CCT · 08/03/2012 11:56

Well I had set to take away the dummy at 12 months old - I recall someone telling me that was the right age (...) - but when it came to it we decided it didn't seem right. We were very tough with our first's bedtime but the dummy was his only thing he really wanted. Quite frankly its a way or reducing the stress a child might suffer and as such I can't see it as a bed thing. However, we did have the same problem of dummies disappearing in the night so we ended up placing a minimum of 5 around the bed so that he could find at least one in the night!

When he was 2 yrs 9 m he decided he didn't want the dummies anymore as he was a ''big boy'' and within two weeks had ditched them. No stress for anyone!

I was also pregnant with my send at the time (they only have a 18 m gap) and I vowed to avoid dummies with my second... BIG mistake! She ended up using my nipple as a dummy and that was far harder work at night! ;0)

Original poster

DameFlatYouLent · 08/03/2012 12:02

Thanks CCT, I have been wondering if it would just be too stressful for all of us to ditch it now. I've tried putting more dummies in his cot, but he gets very excited by them all and stays up for a while putting them all in his mouth one by one, and then during the night his mermaid tail sleeping bag tends to knock them all out of the cot. I've wondered about tying them to his muslin but am worried that might be a bit risky in some way...

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kirrinIsland · 08/03/2012 12:12

dame I had the same problem with the dummies falling out so I bought an air wrap bumper thing so they can't. I put her down with one dummy and then add a few more once she is asleep.

thing1andthing2 · 08/03/2012 15:16

It might be easier when he's older as he might be able to understand why you're doing it. My DD was very attached to her dummies for sleeping. But I took her to see the dentist around her 2nd birthday and he said her jaws weren't well aligned and ditching the dummies would help. So we just took them away one night at 2.1yr. We said the dentist said they were making her teeth poorly, and she was a big girl now and dummies were for babies and she didn't need them. She didn't make a fuss or anything and asked for them for about a week but accepted our explanation.
He might be OK with it (I was really surprised how easy it was) but you might be better to wait until his language has developed and you can explain it more. Why don't you try it for a week now and see how you get on? You can always go back if it's not working out?

Original poster

DameFlatYouLent · 08/03/2012 19:19

Hmm, thank you all for your advice. I'm thinking perhaps of taking all your advice: kirrin's idea of the air bumper now, and then when his language improves taking him to the dentist a la thing1 and making it all his/her fault I'm so tired all the time at the moment, and while I know taking the dummy away will improve things long-run, I'm afraid of a long battle to get there, and I need my sleep desperately at the moment [pathetic emoticon]

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addictediam · 08/03/2012 19:27

As a mum to a 16 month and a 4 week old, i say leave the dummy! It's the only thing that keeps dd1 asleep when dd2 is screaming the place down! We will be taking it away around 2 years old, but for now she needs it.

Titchyboomboom · 08/03/2012 19:43

I scatter 4 or 5 around the cot and most nights she finds them.. I also have a couple in my room in case she wakes to just pick up and take in! Dummy crazy in this house! DD only needs them for sleep, and we have rules whereby she knows she does not have them at playgroups. I am hoping to get rid when she is older and understands or naturally ditches them... will play it by ear.

lifesrichpageant · 08/03/2012 19:51

My ds is also 16 months. We ditched the dummy on Friday (6 days ago) and prepared for the worst but it's been surprisingly ok. He settles himself in the night and cries for 2 or 3 minutes before going down for the night.
Just can't get over how much noisier he is during the day th

lifesrichpageant · 08/03/2012 19:52

Oops .... Though. Lots of chatter and loud proclamations!!
Good luck and cobgrats on your pregnancy .

lifesrichpageant · 08/03/2012 19:53

Congrats. Bloody iPhone!

Original poster

DameFlatYouLent · 08/03/2012 20:27

Well done on ditching the dummy lifes! I'm not sure I'm feeling brave enough although when we're on holiday in a couple of weeks, maybe we'll give it a bash. Need to have a Proper Discussion about it and Decide officially.

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conorsrockers · 08/03/2012 20:45

If you like a quiet life - leave them be until you really have to get rid (age 5 in our case!!!)
IMHE they are priceless. We had hundreds everywhere and I swear if we hadn't used them I would have gone bonkers!!
Don't make life difficult for yourself! Why do you want to take it away?

islandbaby · 08/03/2012 21:57

I had this problem and posted on here about it, as DS was always flinging his 4 strategically placed dummies out of the cot in his sleep and then waking up upset and unable to find them.

Someone suggested I buy a dummy bunny (amazon it), but i just made my own one out of a comforter we got free from hipp organic (half way down www.hipp.co.uk/acatalog/Bibs_Spoons.html). just tie dummies to each corner of whatever you find to use (muslin would be ok at this age I reckon, maybe cut it down a bit), and the whole thing combined is too big to fit through the bars and big enough to find with wandering hands.

Problem solved, now he never wakes up and cries for his dummy. Sadly he still wakes up crying all the bloody time occasionally, but I can guarantee he'll have a dummy shoved in his gob and it'll be some other issue.

Original poster

DameFlatYouLent · 09/03/2012 20:33

thanks, we'll give the muslin thing a go. conorsrockers I do like the quiet life, but it's not always so quiet - that's the problem! We got one of those dummy bunnies but the only damn dummies he'll take don't have a handle thing (the MAM ones - will never buy again!). Stupid design!

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4madboys · 09/03/2012 20:44

yes the dummy bunny is good but like islandbaby i made my own, or rather a friend did out of a square of material and dummies attach onto two corners and its fleece on one side and cotton cot sheet on the other, dd loves it :)

if he has the mam dummies can you attach the dummies onto a muslin using a dummy clip, you can get ones for the mam dummies i think and then clip them onto the cloth? that way they are easy to find still and the clips are short enough not to pose a strangulation threat etc?

Morena · 09/03/2012 20:49

Easier than at 17 months :)

Original poster

DameFlatYouLent · 11/03/2012 18:56

Thanks 4madboys sometimes i can't see the wood for the trees. Will investigate those dummy clips!

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hattifattner · 11/03/2012 19:00

Id say, having done this 3 times, just go cold turkey. The worry about the first couple of nights is far worse than the reality. Yes, you will have a couple of disturbed nights (you already are) - but getting rid of the dummy is actually a lot easier than you think.

cheapandchic · 15/03/2012 14:28

I second the bunny! I got the 'sleepy tot' bunny where you attach dummies to the hands. My toddler loves it and has never woken in the night for a dummy since. She now happily takes it to sleep with her every night. We gave her the bunny at around 14 months. She is now 23 months and I am wishing I could stop her from using the dummy...but it comforts her and she goes to sleep so easily with it that I am not forcing the issue.
As long as its only for bedtime I guess its not so bad. Not sure she will ever give it up though?!

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