9 year old girls..............is your DD as emotional as mine or am I doing something wrong?

[Kellamity]

She's so up and down at the moment is so sad to see. She stomps off when you try and talk to her, she sulks, she's desperate for a dog but as a family we don't want one and it seems she's taking it out on DH and me.

She got told off this morning by DH as she pushed her little brother (he wasn't innocent), Dh walked in and tried to find out what had happened as although DS was crying he knew there was probably more to the incident. As usual she stomped off refusing to go to school with him (he does the school run on the way to work), saying he hates her and picks on her.

I just don't know how to handle her, she can be the most delightful little girl to be with and the hardest child to be with within the space of a few minutes. I just want her to be happy.

Well she did go to school with DH. He has just phoned and said by the time they got their she had calmed down and it was as if nothing had happened this morning. Anyway he sent her in after a big cuddle so hopefully she is feeling happier. I still feel though.

there

Wrt the dog issue is there not a rescue or kennels near you she could volunteer at?

Dd1 is only 8 and our Greyhound charity are happy for her to help at fundraisers just standing in the doorways and showing people in/collecting entry fees etc.

Oh yes!

It's girls for you. I wouldn't bother too much over the dog thing, it will soon move to something else. Mine was desp for a pet, we have rabbits now, but she now wants a gerbil.

I got a book, that was recomended on here - called Queen Bees and Wannabes, which is absolutely brilliant for an insight into girls' minds.

Ooh thanks chops my drama queen is doing my head in - maybe the book will help.

Kell how much body fat does she have? I ask because mine is cuddly and as a result I suspect she will be going through puberty earlier She is starting to sprout boobs bless her and is ten this year but the body will start periods if there are enough fats apparently.

So I am putting down my DDs stroppy erratic can't keep up with her moodswings to hormones....and am preparing myself for earlier periods.

Doesn't help you in the long term but just a thought?

As for the dog - if it doesn't fit in with your family then it doesn't fit. She either needs to advertise (local shop postcard?) herself as a cheap dog-walker or dog-sitter or you could 'adopt' a puppy for her - if a photo would sate her.

If it is safe enough and she is responsible enough I am sure that some people might want the dog-walking....and she could earn a bit of pocket money whilst understanding that a dog is a huge responsibility and not just a walk in the park

Thank you, chops I will take a look at that book. Dog ideas are great too, I am going to look locally to see if she can help anywhere. I think she will love it!

I wouldn't allow a 9 year old to walk even the best trained of my dogs. How would they know how to respond if another dog attacked or some one tried to steal the dog from her? I trust my child and I trust my dog. I do not trust other people and wouldn't advise that the Op allow her young child to be a dog walker no matter how trustworthy she is.

I think Dooin has a point, it is a bit risky. My dd used to go to neighbours houses and just play with their dogs in their gardens, and was happy enough to do that.

Yes good points there D0oin, I don't think I would let her walk someone else's dog, if anything happened she can be a panicker as well as all the points you've made. But volunteering locally is a possibility.

It's not 'just girls'. My ODS is the same.

It is definitely age related, but if its way over the top you might want to bear this in mind - my own DD - also 9 suddenly got really bad - the strops took on a far more sinister feel - more like complete hysterical meltdowns - scarily so :(

Thankfully (sort of ) I had seen similar behaviour in her before & knew it to be linked to bullying - she wasn't telling us anything like this initially, she didn't the first time round at 7 - but I had my suspicions & it turned out to be spot on - even though her very OTT strops could be about ANYTHING, from what she was going to wear, how her hair was, food, tidying her room, not watching a TV show, us not getting a Dog also came up - ANYTHING had her go into meltdown thankfully the School have worked with us, as did the ring leaders Mum & the problem is mostly resolved &DD is back to her old self - strops yes, but NOTHING like the scary way she was

The Head pointed out to me, that this is the age all the politics kick in with girls - I expected a bit later as it was when I was younger, so it took me by surprise - but she was right, DDs group of solid girlfriends she's had since nursery, suddenly, almost overnight, turned into a gang of loud, bossy, I'm in charge & you follow my lead or you're ostracised prima-donnas - several vying to be ringleader & DD just wasn't having any of it, didn't want to be involved with the bitching & back biting, so she was set upon by the group

Might be worth having a chat with your DD about how things are with her friends, or just generally girls in class ( DD was upset her friends were picking on others in School too) & generally keep an eye on the dynamics between your DD & her group of friends if you get a chance to see them all together - I was shocked with some of the stuff I witness, girls who only weeks earlier had been the sweetest, most polite, being very devious & nasty to other weaker members in the group

Thanks for that rockinhippy I think you make some very valid and interesting points about girls and their friendships. I have witnessed how nasty girls can be to each other one minute and sweetness and light the next.

We live very close to 2 other girls DD plays with. None of them go to the same school but play together at the weekends. One of them is a little older and never seems to be the one out of favour DD and her friend seem to compete for the older friends acceptance/attention/friendship meaning one is out of favour or even worse one is played with until the other one makes an appearance and then the original one is dumped - does that make sense? It's horrible to watch and horrible to know that when it isn't DD upset then it is her friend unless all 3 are playing together which does occasionally happen.

DD has withdrawn a bit from this 3 way friendship due to being busy doing other stuff at weekends but now the weather is getting better they will all be outside a little more and the friendship swing will start again I'm sure.

I'm sure this isn't exclusive to home and similar friendships/fallouts happen at school. DD seems to like to have one very close friend rather than be part of a big group, this is fine until her friend isn't around! I think I will sit down with her at some point and just make sure nothing more is bothering her.