4Year old DS......learning is 'too hard'

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Ok, I am a bit pushy....... but I know he is capable. We have been reading HF words, a few each day. He just can't be bothered! I have to work so hard to make it fun but my god he makes it hard. He can read about 12 words which doesn't seem many???

He still wont write his name.....although his nursery teacher says he can with help.

He doesn't recognise any numbers which is worrying me. He can count to 15 but again wont push to go any high.

I am getting really worried!

He's only 4. At that age at school they spend more time playing and getting ready for learning later on. Relax, he will come round to it in his own time. Pushing it upon him will only make him feel negative about learning.

x

Relax! He's only at nursery. Let him enjoy being a child for a few months more before he has to start school in September. 5-6 months is a long time when you are only 4 in developmental terms. DS2 had no interest in letters until just before the summer holiday when he started school, by halfway through the first term in reception he was on the gifted and talented list for literacy and being taught with the year ones. It would have caused a huge amount of heartache for both him and me trying to teach him to read earlier than that as he wasn't ready and he wasn't interested. Read to him lots of interesting things so he has a desire to read too. And TBH I think that teaching him phonics is a lot more use than high frequency words.

With numbers enjoy him counting to 15 - praise him for it so he feels good about what he can do, rather than have him worrying about what he can't do. That could be why he will write his name at nursery but not for you - maybe he is worrying that his writing won't be good enough.

I found with all my DSs that numbers came in fits and starts. Once they suddenly got the pattern they were away counting into the hundreds, but learning the 10-20 part was the hardest.

BTW I am writing with the benefit of hindsight and 3 children, I was very concerned about DS2s apparently lack of interest in learning before he started school at the time (as DS1 was reading well before starting school), but glad I took his lead. Learning needs to be fun.

my DS was like this and then he started in reception and he was away - 6 months in he can read and tries to read any letters he sees. He can write his name and all his letters and make up his own sentences and he can add and subtract and other basic maths

I would recommend you back off and let him enjoy playing at nursery. When he starts school you will see a big change in him I'm sure

Goodness me you are going to put him off learning for life pushing him and being worried. Keep things fun and be directed by his interest in words. Just have fun with words eg think of rhyming words, play eye spy, when reading point to words as you read them. I'd definitely lay off HF words but stick to phonics and letter sounds.

I really can't see how attempting to read high frequency words can be made fun. I just don't see the fun in: a, and, he, I, in, is, it, of, that, the, to & was. Am I missing something?

Why should he be writing his name? Why are you worried that he is not recognising numbers? If he can count to 15 (real objects) it is far better than being able to chant numbers up to the high ones.

Why are you worried? These are things that he will learn in school. In 6 months time.

Can't you just read books to him for fun and point at the words as you go along so he knows where the words for the story are coming from? Do you really need to take words out of context and tell him he has to learn them???? And can't you just count things when you get the opportunity? I used to witter on continuously, pointing out everything I saw, talking about it, or counting things - eg the number of speed bumps on a particular stretch of road, the speed limit sign, the numbers on the houses, etc. I didn't expect my children to copy me and didn't really care how interested they were in the specifics, it was just something to say that I would like them to know and thought was vaguely interesting (I'm not too knowledgeable about the names of flowers, so couldn't share that with them!). They learnt to read and count at a very young age, so obviously they were sufficiently interested to pay a little bit of attention.

DD1 is four. she learns through play at nursery and at home.

Indoors I believe I have three things which I need to do with her:

1. Read books to her that she enjoys.
2. Give her the opportunity to get messy with craft (painting, sticking, glittering)
3. Give the opportunity to let her develop her imagination (through books, turning the TV off so she plays, providing things like playdough, mixing bowls, empty boxes)

Home should be fun imho.

Look at it this way. He is 4.

A 4 year old child is perfectly capable of walking for 4 miles. But that doesn't mean they'll want to, or will enjoy it if you make them. The trick is to gradually introduce them to walking without putting them off for life.

The same is true for reading.

You could try playing board games with him to aid number recognition. My ds's loved frustration and we have just bought a "cars" one from Argos.

I'd suggest backing off completely. You don't want to put him off and 4 is so young. Certainly the schools near me would rather the children were developing fine motor skills, ability to dress themselves etc than already coming able to read and write.