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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Easily overstimulated 10 week old.

48 replies

SalsaP · 06/03/2012 20:00

Hi all.

I'm feeling really down this evening as it would seem I can't do much with my 10 week old son without him become unbearably over stimulated. When he becomes over stimulated he is a nightmare - wailing, flailing, impossible to console or settle. Not only is it hard for me but its heart breaking to see him that way, All we did today was go to the baby weighing clinic for about 15 mins and then, a few hours later after a 2 hour nap, a mother and baby group for 1 and a half hours. He slept for the first half an hour too! He pretty much had the same amount of sleep as other less active days so I don't think its tiredness. I feel fed up because I feel trapped to stay indoors to prevent this from happening again. Does anyone else LO's get like this, know why some babies are prone to this or have any advise please?

Thank you.

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PriscillaQueenOfTheDesert · 06/03/2012 20:50

Maybe he is just overtired then of it only happens on the days you have been out.

Honestly, don't worry about baby groups etc there is plenty of time for that. At 10 weeks they are still just getting used of being in the big wide world and are just as happy laying on the floor at home with a mirror.

For you though, if you take him out for a walk in his pram for a sleep, can you call a friend to meet you for coffee while he's asleep, or invite someone to your house? Even if you only get half hour, it breaks up the day a little and at least gets you a bit of adult conversation.

Life with a newborn is hard work so just do what you need to make it easier for yourself. Baby groups will get better around 6 months when your son is more aware of his surroundings and starts wanting to explore more.

PriscillaQueenOfTheDesert · 06/03/2012 20:51

And I agree with trying a wrap sling.

The mobi is a good stretch wrap which will keep baby tightly close to you and hopefully settle him down when he gets overtired.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 06/03/2012 20:52

yep, and try different types. mine never got on with the 'for bfing babies' ones, they liked cherries when they were very wee.

bumbums · 06/03/2012 20:53

I think your either a sling mum or your not. I wasn't. When my babies were asleep I relished the time to myself.

RitaMorgan · 06/03/2012 20:54

When you say you wait for the next feed, could you not just feed him straight away?

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 06/03/2012 20:55

i really disagree. i didn't have a great one for dd1 and could have kicked myself when dd2 came along and i found out that she fell asleep within thirty seconds of being put in there, no matter how wound up she was, and within five minutes she could be pulled out and plonked somewhere.

PooPooInMyToes · 06/03/2012 20:55

Don't stop going out. I know what its like . . . but if interaction is important for you (it is for me) then keep going out. He won't cry every time. It has probably just been bad luck.

All babies cry sometimes and next time it will probably be one of your friends babies.

If he does become unconsolable just take a deep breath and stay calm. Walk outside if that helps and try not to worry about the crying disturbing others. Be ready to just leave if you really can't calm him. I remember doing that with my daughter. Got two mins down the road and she was happy again!

Sometimes its just not worth staying if they are not happy. I felt as though i had failed if i left wherever i was because i couldn't console my child but it really isn't always worth staying. Just go for a walk and try again another day.

RitaMorgan · 06/03/2012 20:56

I had a close carrier for ds and found it brilliant. Basically a wrap sling but easier to use.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 06/03/2012 20:56

TOTALLY agree about not caring if he's crying. besides, at 10 weeks it's just squeaking anyway (so long as you're not the mother, to whom it sounds horrendous).

bumbums · 06/03/2012 20:57

I may get flamed for this comment but... I liked Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer book. She has some very helpful hints.

But over all take heart that this phase will be a distant memory 2-3 months from now!

TeWihara · 06/03/2012 20:59

DS has a bebo butterfly which I love, but DD was never impressed with slings (picky soul that she is!)

I would suggest if possibly he's decided he's hungry again, maybe before you try feeding him take off your top - wrap him up in his blanket/grobag, sit down near his cot with the lights down low, maybe with the radio very quietly in the background and feed him there. Once he's full, settled and sleepy put him down with your top it will smell like you and be reassuring.

Babies are hard!

I hope you find something that works for you both.

PooPooInMyToes · 06/03/2012 21:01

Also are your meet ups in the afternoon? You might find he's more suited to going out in the morning. Then he can nap after.

Remember that this stage won't last forever.

TeWihara · 06/03/2012 21:02

I liked baby groups when my first born was tiny too - it was good for ME, if totally irrelevant for DD!

Snakeonaplane · 06/03/2012 21:04

I have a n 11 week old, she has to be out and about all day long because I have 2 others so we have to do the school run and I drop her to creche whilst I go to the gym for an hour, shop etc I don't think she ever gets over stimulated but she does get over tired she gets lots of cat naps but no big sleeps, when we get home I pop her in the wrap sling and she sometimes protests for a couple of mins then zonks out, when she has had a really good nap I wake her bath her, she has cuddles a bit of a kick a feed and back to bed for 7.30ish and sleeps really well on the days I don't do the afternoon nap she is often very jerky/fidgety and difficult to get to sleep.

I really wouldn't stop going out because of it you'll go insane 2nd 3rd babies etc would be berserk all of the time if if overstimulation effected babies this badly.

Snakeonaplane · 06/03/2012 21:07

Ps I have the Kari me sling, it's been a best buy, i can almost forget she is there and justbcrack on with the others evening routine.

bumbums · 06/03/2012 21:07

Wish there was a 'like' button on mn!

Yes, good point Snakeonaplane.

PriscillaQueenOfTheDesert · 06/03/2012 21:19

At 10 weeks I was still in my pj's ( clean btw) on the sofa watching trashy daytime tv and loving it.

Both times.

I do understand some people need to be out and about though. Looking for morning groups, as already mentioned, sounds like a good idea.

Snakeonaplane · 06/03/2012 21:23

When he starts to fuss do you feel your panic levels rising? This used to happen a lot with my first, she'd start to I'd worry about what I would do to settle her try lots of things and it would escalate to almighty howling, new dd I notice really only cries when overtired, she is ebf and always fed on feeding cues hands in mouth etc. She sometimes thinks she is hungry when she is tired but then won't feed, what helps is I find is to breathe very deeply and gently sway her until she drops off, won't work for everyone but I think the key is trying to stay really calm and not changing position a lot because I think they can sense your stress. likewise sometimes when I put her in the sling she really screams, instead of getting her back out and thinking she hates it I walk up and down the stairs a couple of times, don't know why put it works every time.

naturalbaby · 06/03/2012 21:36

Are you sure it's not tiredness - how much is he sleeping during the day?
How long has he been like this - has he always been like this or could it be a growth spurt?

I was convinced ds1 screamed more and louder than all the other babies, no matter how nice my friends were when they said he didn't! I carried him in a sling a lot and he soon learned to settle and sleep in my arms. He just was unsettled for whatever reason and I tried a lot of things - gripe water, routine, no routine, activity, no activity, eventually early weaning...nothing really made a huge difference and to be honest, in the end I put it down to being an anxious 1st time mum. It took a while but he was much more settled and content than other babies his age later on.
ds3 is a very similar baby but I did a routine from day 1 for various reasons, and he does a big sigh of relief when I put him down in his cot in his dark room! It didn't work with ds1 but I did it from day 1 with ds3 and he really needed it. The minute he started getting worked up if it was nearly sleep time I got him in the cot. It has been very restrictive but he's been very happy and settled compared to ds1.

hodgiebreeder · 07/03/2012 02:39

Hi there! I sympathise as my DS is exactly the same. Most of the time he's a lovely happy chappy and a v 'easy' baby, but when overtired...... Run for cover!!! We recently bought a snoozeshade, which is basically a blackout cover for the pram/car seat, and it's been great. Just wait for him to fall asleep in the pram, then pop it over and it really extends their sleep time. Or, if they're really in trouble and want the world to stop you can pop it over them awake and it cuts out all visual stimulation which seems to calm my DS. Other than that, i just try to spot the warning signs (grizzle even though just fed/dry, no eye contact, lots of frustrated type arm flailing) and then try to cut him off at the pass. From my experience its become easier in the last week or so (DS is 19 weeks) as he seems to have fallen in to a more regular nap routine. Hope this helps and hang in there xx

Iggly · 07/03/2012 11:39

Normal.

Some babies get more overstimulated than others and find it hard to switch off

MadameChinLegs · 07/03/2012 11:49

I found, in order to prevent my DD (11 weeks) from getting ratty, she got put down for a sleep an hour and a half (at the most) after she last woke up. Whereever I was, if at home she'd go in either her pram or basket, and if out, in her pram. Always awake, sometimes with a dummy in. If we were out, i'd turn the pram away so she couldnt see much, certianly not people as this would keep her awake and she'd be very ratty.

Oh, and we don't go to any baby classes. Generally, we play in the house in the morning, then she usually has a longer nap after her 1pm bottle so I put her in the pram for that and go out for a few hours. I take a bottle out with me so if Im not back at home by 4pm, she has that whereever we are. I always try and have her back home by 5.30, in order for her to have a bit of time to wind down before her bath (usually 6/6.15 ish).

CailinDana · 07/03/2012 12:01

It'll be tiredness or hunger or both rather than overstimulation. Even at 14 months my DS needs a lot of sleep during the day, usually about 2-3 hours and as soon as he starts getting tired everything starts to piss him off, the slightest thing sends him into floods of tears. When I see him getting like that it's into the buggy or up to the cot for a sleep. Equally hunger can set him off but now he can ask for food that's not so bad.

Just travelling from one place to another and being in a new environment can be immensely tiring for small babies. If he's pretty good for sleeping the buggy why not walk to a baby group and let him sleep in the buggy while you have a chat? When he's this age there's no need for him to have interaction with others, just a few hours a day of sitting looking around and cuddling you are enough.

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