Why is he well-behaved for everyone else and not for me? What am I doing wrong?

[Elle2]

My son is four years old and it seems that he is the perfect little angel whilst at nursery, with Gran and Grandpa and everyone else (probably even with you he would seem so too). BUT then mummy comes home and he is a little brat!!!!!

I just don't understand how I am the only one that will love him the most and yet he misbehaves at every god damn opportunity!!!! It has come to the point that we can't even go out as a family for fear that he will kick off somewhere, which then makes it a nightmare as I need to explain to his big sister that the planned day ahead is no longer happening due to her little shit of a brother!!!!ARGH!!!!!

The thing that seems to trigger the unwanted behaviuor seems to be a wee small word called NO. But then do you let him get away with everything and not punish him or give him into trouble???

Any suggestions

my daughter is the same if i had a £ for every time my mum said "she been an angel til you came in" i pull my hair out wondering why she keeps all the negative behaviour for me, but my mum did point out something which i thought was nice she said it because my daughter knows she can be as horrid as she wants with me and i'll love her anyway, time out in her room works wonders for me, even better when she sends me to my room for time out lol, DD 2 due in june so am hoping to avoid jealousy as she's had me to herself for 6 years.
Good luck with your little boy:)

If your DS is well-behaved for everyone else but not for you, then you are doing it right! As rhibutterfly said, kids know that they can behave badly for parents and we'll still love them.

I sympathise. I've got a 4 year old DS too and he was a right little shit very challenging all weekend long, even when he had a friend round to play which was very embarrassing! He is good as gold at nursery though and can be an angel at home too, when he wants to be. But if he wants to push bounderies a bit, he knows it's safe to do so at home.

I read somewhere, probably here, that boys have a testosterone surge at around 4, which would explain DS's vile behaviour.

I have no advice to offer as I am struggling too but I comfort myself with the knowledge that he can be well-behaved, and that it'll probably pass. In the meantime we're being as calm and consistent with boundaries as we can. Lots of praising the good, ignoring the bad (hard to do sometimes!) And it would be so much worse if he was good at home and trouble at nursery!

I did go to our Health Visitor the other day as my angelic son has been like this since he was 1 and half, so i initially put this down to the terrible 2s. However she was no use, telling me 'oh it will pass' - Well I know this but WHEN exactly lol. I mean, I can't be asking for help when he is 22 hahaha

Think you are right when you both say that it's because we will love him no matter what he does, but I just don't think of that mid-tantrum.

Who said that kids we easy, eh?

"... little shit of a brother". Nice.

sheeplikessleep - that's a nice name for him at the moment

DS was like this and I guess it is because they do not have to be on their best behaviour with someone they are familiar with. I think a lot of little boys are like this - 2 of my neighbours thought the teacher must have muddled them up with other mums when she described the paragons of virtue that their tearaways were in school. Still, I think it is better this way round. If I remember, they tend to get better round about 7.

7! Do I have to wait till my DS turns 7. He is currently 4.5 and the behavior you describe is just like him. I was actually relieved to go back to work after maternity leave last month because while I was home his behavior was shocking. Now his nanny says he is a pleasure when I am at work and he is (mostly) a pleasure when I come home