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Trying EC with a 1 yr old?

32 replies

HangingOutSoggyPants · 05/03/2012 21:46

Hi, this is my first post after a fair bit of lurking Blush. I have just recently come across 'elimination communication', and realised it should probably be started earlier than on my 1 yr old. However I would really like to give it a go, and wondered how to start it all off. I realise my dd will be conditioned to use her nappy, so should I just start with some nappy free time?
TIA

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
conorsrockers · 05/03/2012 22:21

Elimination Communication??? Is that code for ignoring the buggers!

TheAlmightyBob · 05/03/2012 22:25

buy lots of kitchen roll and de-nappy her.

plan to not leave the house for some time.

alternatively leave it for a few months and do it the more 'normal' way.

PriscillaQueenOfTheDesert · 06/03/2012 08:48

Do a bit o EC and nappies.

When at home, leave a potty or two around where they are always accessible. Leave nappy off your dd and just watch for her cues. Let her watch you on the toilet of she doesn't already as have lots of cloths ready for clean ups.

Do nappies when out and about until you're more confident with reading her cues.

Or you could just wait a couple of months until it is warmer where she can then just run around with no nappy on most of the time at home and in the garden and when you can explain the potty a bit more to her.

I completely messed it up with ds1. He was a year old in the April and from July I left his nappy off 90% of the time, left a couple of potties around and within a couple of days he was taking himself to the potty. Then ds2 came along not long later and I got too lazy and put nappies back on him. He's 2.10 now and is pretty much toilet trained but we're struggling to get him wearing pants. He'll just keep taking his nappy off instead to use the toilet, then want the nappy back on. Hmm

Zimbah · 06/03/2012 09:34

I did EC with DD1 starting at around 8 months, I just did it based on timing rather than reading her cues - I did try nappy free and observing her etc, but couldn't recognise any cues for about to wee/poo (and tbh couldn't be bothered to put the hours in!). She usually did a poo first thing on waking, so I started taking nappy off and putting her on the potty as soon as she got up. She really liked it, I read her books, sang songs, played with toys etc, and she usually did a poo in the potty. If she got bored or didn't want to sit I just took her off.

When she was around 1.5 I started potty training a bit more for wees as well, although still had her in a pullup. I don't think it made much difference to the age she fully potty trained (2.3yr), but I had about 1.5 years of very rarely having to change a dirty nappy as she usually did it in the potty, so it was definitely worth it!

DD2 on the other hand is 9 months and every time I've tried sitting her on the potty she gets upset, so I'm going to leave it for a while. I might try again in a few months and see if she's more interested, if not I'll wait till she's older.

HangingOutSoggyPants · 06/03/2012 12:05

Thanks for your replies. I left her nappyless this morning, and I think she really enjoyed the freedom, very cute watching her. I missed 1 wee, but I didnt notice any cue, she was standing up like she always does then just piddled. Didnt make a fuss, just took her to the potty and sat her down, she did not want to stay put and just crawled off. Will try again after her nap.

Connersrockers, IKWYM, its a rubbish phrase!Grin

Thanks for the tips everyone, Im not pushing it, will just see what happens.

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AngelDog · 06/03/2012 17:05

Have you found the Born Ready site? There is a forum which is quite good (it's UK based unlike lots of EC stuff).

We've done a bit of EC part-time since 8 months. It definitely goes through phases - from 12-18 months DS refused to sit on a potty or toilet at all, and he's never liked the in-arms position.

Our success has been entirely related to how much nappy-free time I've given DS. (By 'success' I mean my ability to read his cues, work out timings or him tell me he needs to go.) Now at 2.2 he's nappy free most of the time at home but wears nappies when out - the best of both worlds. :) He is happy to wee in the toilet/potty but prefers to poo standing up.

Fraktal · 06/03/2012 17:14

We've just sort of started with 10mo DS. Before he wouldn't sit on the potty and I work so he'd be in nappies anyway. NI I've worked out some cues and we do timings on potty. We'll see how it evolves.

HangingOutSoggyPants · 07/03/2012 12:36

Thankyou AngelDog, that website is good and quite informative. You sound like you are doing well with your DS, Id like to get to that point.

Fraktal, let me know how you are getting on, I think I will try more nappy free time when the weather gets a bit nicer, Iv worked out timings the last couple of days so will try and stick to those for now. Have only caught a couple of wees so far and (nearly) a poo! Exciting stuff...

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AngelDog · 07/03/2012 19:45

We still have plenty of accidents though! Grin

SootySweepandSue · 07/03/2012 19:49

I knew someone who did this from day 1. He's 20 months now and still poos in his nappy, based on this no way I an trying it. I don't see the point honestly.

CecilyP · 07/03/2012 20:10

Me neither; unless you want your whole life to revolve around your LO's excretory system.

londonlottie · 07/03/2012 20:17

Me too sooty - my SIL has been banging on about potty training her same-aged DD since the day she was born, having potties conveniently sited in every room etc etc. our DCs are now 2.2 and all of them (her DD and my DTs) still in nappies. What on earth is the point? As if there aren't other things to fill your time with, when it seems to serve so little purpose?Confused

AngelDog · 08/03/2012 09:48

The point is to communmicate with your child about their elimination needs (hence the name) and to help them retain some of the natural awareness of their body. It's not about potty training.

What it does do is avoid training them to use nappies and then un-training them to use nappies. Some people have a principled objection to leaving their children sitting in their own poo/wee when we wouldn't treat incontinent adults like that.

FWIW, the majority of babies in the world don't wear nappies. Most of China do EC apparently (though I've no experience of it there myself).

Most people who do it (including me) do it part-time when it suits them, not as something to slavishly do irrespective of inconvenience. If you find disposables too expensive, using a potty saves on the cost of nappies. If you use cloth (which I do as I couldn't afford to just use disposables), it saves on the effort of washing.

I started it because at 8 m.o. DS started to poo in the middle of most breakfasts, which made him very distressed. He'd then have a tantrum because I'd have to carry him upstairs to wipe the squished poo off his bottom when he wanted to be in the kitchen eating. I started sitting him with a naked bottom on a cloth nappy in his high chair, and as soon as he made the poo face, picked him up & popped him on the potty. He'd poo (happily), I'd give him a quick wipe and he was back in the highchair within 60 seconds. It made all the difference to our mornings.

HangingOutSoggyPants · 08/03/2012 20:08

SootySweepandSue, CecilyP, and Londonlottie, I completely understand where you are coming from. From what I understand its not about pottie training earlier, just an alternative form of dealing with these natural processes. From my point of view, anything that means I dont have to scrape poo off my dds nether regions is a good thing, plus I just hate the thought of her sitting in her own mess (pfb)Grin

Thanks AngelDog for your comments, interesting to hear how it has worked for you. My LO also seems to do one during breakfast, or at some time in the morning, havent quite managed to pre empt it yet. This morning I caught her as she went, sat her on potty, but she wouldnt go anymore, so assumed she had finished, just for her to finish in the next nappy! Think the potty distracted her...Confused

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CecilyP · 08/03/2012 20:31

Yes, I can see the rationale of popping a baby on the potty for a poo if they are that regular in their habits. I would hope no caring parent would want their DC sitting in their own mess and would change a soiled nappy straight away - whether it's their first or their fifth baby.

HangingOutSoggyPants · 08/03/2012 21:30

Yes, but even though it bothers me, it doesnt always bother her, so I wont always realise when she has done something (still happily playing and crawling around), atleast this way, I am trying to become more attuned to when she is actually needing to go (recognising cues) because she is not completely regular yet. Its just an alternative method, nappies will always be my backup.

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Fraktal · 09/03/2012 19:06

To second what angel said we don't do it because we think going to have him nappy free before a 'usual' age, it's because even at this age he's starting to show us that he knows when he needs to wee/poo.

OP even after after a couple of days I'd say we're a lot more aware of when he's looking uncomfortable and it's reiterated to me that he isn't incontinent as we assume babies are, it's a voluntary action.

HangingOutSoggyPants · 10/03/2012 12:17

Thanks Fraktal, thats good to hear. My dd still doesnt seem to give us any warning! Maybe I need to be more vigilant.

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duchesse · 10/03/2012 12:22

"isn't incontinent as we assume babies are" Sorry Fraktal but I just had a long harsh laugh there. My babies (4 of them) are/have been most definitely at least that incontinent...

duchesse · 10/03/2012 12:28

This is an interesting interview with a mother who has done EC.

londonlottie · 10/03/2012 16:47

AngelDog - well I most certainly don't let my children sit about in their own poo... that's not what NOT doing EC is about, is it? Hmm

I take my cues from my DTs, as they express to me that they are uncomfortable with various things we adapt to suit them. I do think though that when you have twins, you just have less time to be totally zoned into your child's every whim need. We're now at the stage where one of them tells me when she's done a wee and wants her nappy changed each time - this is fairly new and indicates to me that perhaps we should start potty training. As we're at the tail end of moving countries, and having lived out of a suitcase for the past couple of months, I'm only now in a state where I'm even able to contemplate these things, because as far as I'm concerned it's not just about them, it's about me.

AngelDog · 10/03/2012 21:12

londonlottie, I think we are misunderstanding each other.

I understood your earlier post to say 'EC isn't for me, and I don't understand why other people would want to do it either'. I was offering an explanation of why some other people do want to do it, not making any comment about people who don't EC.

Of course most non-EC'ers don't let their children sit in their own poo (though sadly I do know quite a few who do). Explaining the motivation behind people who don't want their DC in wet nappies doesn't tell you anything about the motivation behind people who don't do EC.

It's like I co-sleep because I want DS and I to get as much sleep as possible. Lots of friends don't co-sleep but it would be daft to say therefore that they didn't want their DC to get as much sleep as possible - it's just that the sleep methods that work for their family are different from what works for our family.

As it happens, not letting my DS sit in his own waste isn't much of the reason I do EC. I'm happy for him to be in a wet nappy all night long (he drinks & wees a lot at night) because our sleep is more important than his dryness. If we're out and about, I'm happy for him to be in a wet nappy for a while. People who do EC because they don't want their child to ever sit in their own waste would take a different view. That's fine - we don't all have to agree on everything.

Everything we do as parents is a compromise of what's good for our child, good for us and good for our families. As I said above, people who do EC do it in the way that suits them.

For me, it's been much more convenient doing EC than washing more nappies, and much more convenient doing EC than having to deal with avoidable meltdowns from DS. I don't think that has anything to do with being zoned into DS's whims - it's to do with what makes our family's life easiest. But what works for us isn't going to be what works for another child (or even necessarily another child in our family).

Pottying a pre-potty-trained child can happen as infrequently as once a day at weekends, or as often as every 15 mins. EC'ers are at both ends of the scale and everywhere in between. We just do what works for us. If you don't do EC, you don't need to be defensive about it - you've just made different choices and have different priorities.

BertieBotts · 10/03/2012 21:21

OP, probably the reason why she isn't cueing obviously is that she is older and to some degree has already learned to wee where she stands whenever she feels the need without a care, so she has already overridden the natural feeling of wanting to "avoid soiling the nest" as they call it. It will take a little while of the nappy free time and cueing for her to make this connection again and that's normal for late starters.

I so wish we could have done EC with DS. Unfortunately as soon as he could crawl he had other ideas!

People seem to get really defensive about EC and I don't really get why. Changing nappies always seemed like hassle to me - much less stressful to just get them to wee/poo in a potty, even if it required close attention and/or cajoling. Some people will feel the opposite, of course :)

HangingOutSoggyPants · 12/03/2012 20:07

Thanks for that BertieBotts, thats a very good point. Think more nappy free time is needed. I agree with it being a hassle changing nappies!

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ReallyTired · 12/03/2012 20:45

EC is done in lots of countries and up until the 1950s it was done here. I also think there is a lot of confusion by what is meant by toilet training. I think a truely toilet trained child will use the toilet independently and manage their clothes, wipe their bum and hopefully flush the toilet afterwards. With my ten year old we are still working on aim! [despair emoticon]

There are natural rythmns you can use if you want to catch baby poo/ wee. For example if you want to catch a wee then put your baby on the potty on waking or just after a feed/ meal. It isn't that much extra work as you think

ie this might be an approximate routine for a 9 month old baby.

7.0 am baby wakes, has feed
7.15 take off wet night nappy, put baby on potty
8.00 breakfast.
8.30 nap
9.30 baby wakes on their own accord. Check nappy and put baby on potty

Play/ shopping/ activity of family's choosing

12 lunch
12.30 check nappy and baby use potty, baby has feed
12.45 baby naps
14.00 check nappy, baby uses potty
17.00 Supper
18.00 bath, potty and fresh night nappy, breastfeed
19.00 bed

Gosh I could be the next gina ford. The baby is offered the potty and will probably use it half the time. Ofcourse the baby isn't toilet trained, but at least the child does not develop a phobia of the potty. Nappy free time is a great way of eliminating nappy rash.

However you choose to toilet train your child, it needs to be done with unconditional love. I never forced my dd to sit on a potty. Its vital that you make sitting on the potty a pleasent experience. I used books and sang to dd.