Playground behaviour

[EnjoyResponsibly]

Please try not to flame me, I come in peace.

My DS is 4.6, started YR in Sept 11.

Feedback and own observations are that DS is bright, enthusiastic and friendly. Tends to overwhelm other children as he is a bit immature, and very tall with low awareness of personal space. This has improved dramatically following a bumpy time in nursery.

For 3 weeks now, during bath time (usual place where DS talks about his day, tells us if he's been naughty) he has mentioned that children are refusing to play with him at break times. Two little chaps in particular have cropped up over and over.

DS says that call him "stupid girl" and won't let him join in. As I have told him, he's told the teacher on duty who has, according to DS intervened, but the boys soon revert.

DS is not upset, but he can repeat the conversations verbatim (he's got an unbelievable memory inherited from DH) but he is clearly bewildered.

He says he goes to sit on the bench and think after the children say he can't join in.

He is my PFB. He is 5. And I have resisted (despite wanting to don my protective mummy cape and tights combo) talking to the teacher in favour of advising him to consult the teacher if the kids are unkind, but this is what I'd call ongoing now.

What do I do next wise MNers?

i would talk to the teacher if these 2 boys are still picking on him. just ask her to keep an eye on them and maybe she could do a group talk about not calling people names and being nice to each other?

I would encourage him to find others to play with. Maybe strike up some friendships with some of the other mums so he can get used to different people outside of the school.

I would also say there is no harm sharing your concerns with the teacher or ta just don't go bull in China shop at it yet (which I would probably do!)

It may be just a blip but talk to his teacher and ask them to keep an eye on him in case it becomes a problem for him. Suggest the school encourages other children get to know him; perhaps by buddying him up with someone other than the two who are not wanting to befriend him. You can't force friendships but it's a good age to begin teaching about dealing with blips eh?

I would go to see his teacher. You don't need to go in all guns loaded but it would be useful to see what she has to say re. his behaviour and how he appears to be relating to the other children. Perhaps she could point him towards some more like minded friends.

All good advice, thank you. You're so right I don't want to (although I do really ) to go in all guns blazing.

I'm going to mention the name calling. We don't tolerate the word "stupid" so to DS this is a bad word, although perhaps not so much to the other kids.

I'm also going to ask if there's Children he plays well alongside and invite them for a play hour after school.

Fingers crossed, I just dent think all this nonsense started so early

It all starts as soon as kids are aware there are others and there's power games to be played.

You sound a great mum. Keep listening to him and teaching him the skills of playground survival. It's a brilliant idea to invite his new friends over.

I agree with talking to the teacher. the main point and concern of reception year is social skills and intitutionalising integrating the kids with school and each other! So you're not being a fussy mum, you are supporting the teachers here by raising this so that they can nip it in the bud.

Ladies, I followed the good advice. Teacher was already on the case, loved the idea of inviting a friend to play and gave me a name straight away of a child DS like to play with.

A successful conversation. Am v. pleased. Thank you for all your thoughtful comments xx