The naughty-step "will raise a generation of disturbed children"

[10miles]

This is from my Dad. He feels, very strongly, that a time out punishment system is effectively telling DC that they're so awful you can't bear to have them near you and will lead to emotional problems and poor family relationships.

My parents were very loving, but also very firm with us. We were smacked when we needed disciplining, but never ever sent to our rooms/the step. Dad feels a short sharp smack that is quickly forgotten is far kinder than banishment. What do you think. (He is not in anyway advocating hard physical punishment, this was a slap of the wrist, legs or bottom depending on age, never leaving a mark)

bytheway I suppose it depends on how it is used. If it is made clear to the child that it is their behaviour that is being rejected and not them as people, it's very different to what you're describing.

I would have wished you luck 'sitting with' my DD and patiently waiting for her to calm down when she was a toddler, while she scratched you, hit you, bit you and pulled your hair. If you find that sort of thing tolerable, then good for you. I didn't and so I chose to make that clear to her by moving her out of the room until she was calmer.

My ds behaviour got quite difficult when he started school

I don't smack but did send him to his room, just for a minute or two, to calm down and think about it. I never used phrases like 'get out of my sight' but now I am worried this will damage him

To be honest it prooved ineffective anyway. I got so desperate I started a sort of reward chart and whilst I worry about the conditional nature of it, my ds has been much better and happier. He seems to respond well and knows where he stands.

He is a super wee boy and I know there were reasons e.g. adapting to school but that didn't seem to help me deal with it. I was losing my rag sometimes so the chart was last resort i have always tried to be unconditional before. Our house has been so much calmer and I am a better mum for it. It was almost like he needed something just to break the loop.

advice welcome!