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Behaviour/development

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I am getting rid of my t.v.!

108 replies

souvenir · 30/01/2006 11:28

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shrub · 01/02/2006 15:22

lazycow - we have one of those tv/video combi things. just don't have the lead that plugs into ariel.

SauerKraut · 01/02/2006 15:43

We are tv-less and have been for ages, mainly because I couldn't discipline myself! The kids never asked to watch it anyway, they listen to story tapes and music, and they have all caught the reading bug, except ds3 who has the playdoh bug!- and they are seldom at a loose end. Luckily, where we live, there are a lot of like-minded parents, so when they go to other people's houses, they get on with imaginative play. There is also a great outdoors culture here too, so kids rarely talk about tv at school. But I suppose it works because we are lucky with our surroundings, so our kids aren't made to feel odd. Our house has a completely different feel to it, which I love, and I find I also read a lot more, too. If I am desperate, they can watch a dvd on the computer- but there's rarely any need.

souvenir · 01/02/2006 19:11

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notasheep · 01/02/2006 22:36

Souvenir-Sorry,I was questioning nulnulcat Re having tv on all day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have been without tv on and off for various reasons and on each occassion dd has NEVER asked to watch it.

nulnulcat · 01/02/2006 23:35

notasheep im not actually in the house all day we are out for most of it swimming lessons mon am nursery tues and thurs pm babygym fri am see friends on weds but when we are at home we have the tv on so i can get on with housework and im studying at college so cant spend 24 / 7 entertaining my dd she is ahead of most of her peers development wise and the tv has done her no harm seh doesnt sit glued to it it tends to be on whilst she is doing other stuff and if something gets her attention then she watches it i was watching her the other day repeating words and copying the sign language for them which is not something i could teach her and after tea at 6 the tv is off and its wind down time for bed at 7 im also a single parent so if i had no tv my evenings would not exactly be entertaining

nulnulcat · 01/02/2006 23:37

she doesnt ask to have the tv on mainly asks for her dvds which are ones of children singing and dancing and she joins in with them

nulnulcat · 01/02/2006 23:41

any way i already said im a bad mum for letting the tv babysit my kid but at least i know what she is up to if she is in front of tv

jennifersofia · 02/02/2006 00:12

We have a television on which we can only watch videos and DVD's - can't receive any channels. Have been visited once by TV licensing people and had to prove that we couldn't watch anything, that was it, not bothered at all by them.
We really like it this way - talk to each other more, listen to more music, do more crafts, cooking, etc. The girls watch plenty over at my MIL's when we go, and we use internet Cbeebies website, etc. so I don't feel they are totally out of the loop.
Interesting what you say, Shrub, about modern day telly and cartoons/films. My eldest gets very easily scared of things (Nemo was too much for her, poor thing) and the video that they keep returning to is the early Donald Duck / Mickey Mouse cartoons and also Danger Mouse. I also find that a lot of modern programmes have a lot of 'attitude' that just seems unnecessary for her age group (5). By the way, have you (or anyone) seen any of the Studio Ghibli / Miyazaki films? Some of them (like 'Kiki's Delivery Service') are great - totally different messages from the ones you get from modern Disney.
Anyway, I digress. Happy non-tv-ing.

handlemecarefully · 02/02/2006 00:22

I think it is trying too hard....

julen · 02/02/2006 09:37

We've got one but hardly ever have it on. Which is because of me, I can't stand the thing, so it just doesn't seem to happen. (Dh not that keen either.) Dd and ds watch the occasional 10 minutes of video -we have a few, most of which scare my dd speechless: too many scary bits in them. Which made me think the other day that we should probably 'practice' a bit more, IYSWIM - don't want them to end up nervous wrecks every time they watch telly...
I grew up without very much telly myself, and yes I do remember not knowing sometimes what people were on about at school, but somehow that didn't seem to matter that much.

We do play music quite a lot, and they love that - dd has started to make up stories to the music she hears, and which are absolute wonders of imagination. Don't know where she gets that from - not from me!

doggiesayswoof · 02/02/2006 09:52

Interesting stuff...we don't have a tv, been without for nearly 3 years so DD has never lived with it. She watches DVDs on computer - Toy Story was too scary but Hector's House is a hit - and so do we. We get movies delivered by screenselect and have also watched 24, 6 feet under and other tv shows. We are thinking of trying to rig up a flatscreen monitor with a dvd player so we can watch more comfortably (computer is not currently in the living room). We have had one visit from TV licencing which was painless and now they don't bother us. Radio 4 and 3 are great, DD and I like listening to poppy stations like local commercial radio but we limit that as the adverts are irritating. I'm def going to read Remotely Controlled - the white dot book is also worth a read: here. It's not trying too hard - in fact it's effortless. I would recommend binning the tv to anyone.

doggiesayswoof · 02/02/2006 09:55

I forgot to mention that we nearly always have music on! DD loves a bit of northern soul for dancing and we dug out our old cocteau twins cds for pre-bed chilling out.

doggiesayswoof · 02/02/2006 09:59

jennifersofia, just read your message about having a tv which doesn't receive any channels. Are tv licencing happy to leave you alone as long as you don't have an aerial plugged in? I was going to buy a cheap tv/dvd combination just for watching dvds but thought we would have to get a licence as soon as we bought the tv even if it's not tuned in. Does anyone else have experience of this?

dublindee · 02/02/2006 11:26

We made a decision to limit tv for DS to 1 hour a day as we are both telly addicts (me moreso than DP mind) but feel strongly that DS should be active and involved instead of spaced out in front of a box for hours at a time. My TV viewing was non-existent when I was younger and I resented this so I think a total ban would possibly bite us in the bum later on. DS is only 11mths old so he doesn't have the bility to argue yet! We read research and articles with different opinions on this and found some professionals recommend programmes geared for the specific age group in small doses as it helps develop their communication skills. Currently he watches Play with me Sesame and Bear in the Big Blue House as they have a specific structure and give positive messages (Plus he loves the "doing it doing it together" and "goodbye" songs from each as he's very musical).... and to be honest I love them too - how sad am I?

souvenir · 02/02/2006 14:06

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Kirk1 · 02/02/2006 14:17

dublindee, you're not so sad, my dh went looking for the chord tabs so he could play bear's goodbye song he like dit so much I Love Bear, i think he's my role model for parenting. And I love how he shows so much expression when all that moves are his eyebrows....

My ds's current favourite programme is 'Little Einsteins' and I approve of it greatly because it features classical music and paintings.

I don't think I'd ever want to get rid of the telly, although I never watch it unless I'm sitting specifically to see it - we have sky+ so I record the programmes I think ds and dd are allowed to see and keep it off most of the rest of the time. dh and I are currently working through a two-month backlog of series we started watching and never got to the end of, it's our 'together time' which we don't really get otherwise.

NotAcow · 02/02/2006 21:50

am buying both the books linked to on here... have thought about getting rid of the telly for ages. swore i'd keep the kids (x3, all under3) away from it apart from very little, but am really lazy about it in reality. i will watch any old crap if i have time to kill (WTF?? i have 3 under 3! what time??) and as time has gone on since the kids were born, the telly is on, on kids channels, more and more. and i HATE it when they are zonked in front of it. its on in the background even when theyre not watching and rarely do i rmemeber to turn the damn thing off. and they ask, nay demand it on now. oldest is 2.5 and he knows all his fave programs, and all the words to the theme tunes etc. yuk.
dp watches his footie on it, and isnt addicted at all, not like me (and the kids!) and so cant really see where im coming from on this, esp as hes out at work all day, most of the time. but i think that once ive read these books, and have some facts and data to back up my hunch that this is not a good state of affairs, maybe i will convince him... thanks for the thread, its good to know tv-less people are happy that way. i honestly think we wouldnt miss it a bit!

Pip · 02/02/2006 22:04

When we moved to Spain we didn't bother plugging the tv in as it's so bad here. We watch DVDs and videos on the pc (the video recorder is wired up to the pc) so the kids are happy. Must admit, I miss some (UK) programmes but can't get them here anyway. Anything really important gets taped for us and sent over. I do miss British comedy a lot too.

bourneville · 04/02/2006 19:57

I grew up without a telly and can't help feeling resentful about it because we missed out on so much and were socially isolated growing up, tbh. Still are sometimes, you won't believe how frequently nostalgia conversations come up about tv progs ppl used to watch. me & sis roll our eyes at each other "here we go again". I love the tv progs like "I love 1980" cos i feel like i can catch up (so that's what they were talking about!)!
And now, practically all i do once dd's in bed is watch TV - or rather, mostly dvds these days actually, funny how sometimes there's a host of good progs on and other times hardly anything... who was it who said it's not relaxing??? anything else - reading, writing letters etc - takes up far too much energy! All i'm good for in the evenings is vegging on the sofa watching a screen!
oh and for the person worried about the kids growing up terrified watching tv - u should be. it has taken me years to toughen up to things, i was a right wimp. Since dd was born ,having watched loads and loads of films with my boyf, i really have toughened up, it's been good for me! And get this: can't remember what film, perhaps Harry POtter, the very very beginning, the WB symbol approaches getting bigger & bigger, my mum is already cringing! And, I brought Parenthood round for her to watch thinking it was perfectly harmless (oh they have a tv now, since having to get a licence cos i stayed a few weeks after dd was born! I demanded it!) and she had to leave the room at the bit where Keanu Reeves has that car race!!

But, i can totally understand why my parents decided not to have one. dd is 2.6, she watches next to no actual TV cos i can't stand most of children's telly and i'm dreading when she gets older and i need to undo the resentment i feel towards my parents by letting her stay in touch with tv, but she does watch prob about an hour of her dvds per day, somtimes more sometimes less depending on what we've been doing, how i'm feeling etc. (These days it's actually less than that cos she's so good at getting on with her own stuff - and her favourite videos at the moment are the home videos of herself!) (I insist on watching Neighbours & The Simpsons every day, it's Mummy's hour that is, just an excuse for a break! ) and like others on this thread, i have no idea what you'd do if you were ill. I too am a single mum, but i have such an easy dd who can amuse herself very well without tv that i can't use that as a reason to plonk her in front of it to get things done! In fact having a dvd on if i'm for example on here makes me feel like less of a bad mum than just letting her get on with playing with her toys, for some reason! Can anyone explain why?? I think cos TV is generally considered "bad".

ooh sorry that was rather long!

brette · 04/02/2006 20:29

I grew up without a TV too but we used to rent one for 2 weeks at Christmas. Needless to say, we were all glued to the screen then. And I was resentful towards my parents for feeling excluded at school when all the kids were talking about what they had seen the previous night. But I could whistle a whole Hendrix album when I was 9! Not sure it helped me in life though... In restrospect, I am glad we didn't have one because I was a keen reader/music listener. And we got rid of our TV last month and it feels good. More time for Mumsnet!

Filyjonk · 04/02/2006 20:39

I grew up without a TV too. I can't say I cared much either way, tbh. We were the odd kids wearing flared dungarees and bringing 3 bean soup to school anyway. (It was the 80s! The shame!).

I honestly believe that tv is a tool. Some stuff is useful, especially for visual learners. Some (lots) of stuff is drivel. Kids need to be helped to use tv in a way useful to them-a bit of vegging, but also a lot of learning. Whats important is having a healthy attitude to it. Eg talking about ads, or hidden messages on tv together. I'm constantly amazed at the levels of meaning my 2 yo prizes out of Angelina.

I used to sneak over to my friend's house to watch The Really Wild Show. Got me through A level Biology a decade later.

bourneville · 05/02/2006 18:47

Yes, FWIW there were a lot of gains from not having a TV too. Me and sis were both avid readers, and also I have been typing for as long as i can remember and having the fastest typing speed i've ever come across! We used to type stories all the time too. We were lucky to have friends across the road who also didn't have a tv, and we did all sorts with them, inc writing & performing plays etc (all under 10 yo!). Also I remember by the time i reached 5th yr at secondary school I got so fed up of my "friends" talking all the time about Neighbours & Home & Away, I ended up just isolating myself then and was desperate to leave school! I thought they were so sad, with no lives (not that i had one then either!)
But I also think you can have a healthy attitude to tv - as long as my dd has plenty of opportunity for all that creative stuff as well as some tv, it's fine.

4blue1pink · 05/02/2006 18:58

I am averse to it and barely has my youngest ds (3 years) watched it. My second son watched a fair amount and it depressed me...i felt it was all he wanted to do. I dont like it .they would glue on it for hours....i make them 13,11 and 9 ask to watch it and limite it - definitelty not every day and i am able to just say no.

There is so much more to life!

NotAcow · 06/02/2006 10:01

well, since reading this thread, ive had the telly on much less and they havnt minded and the wortld hasnt ended, even while i bf the baby. and ive switched to putting on 'approved' DVD's instead of telly channels, so at least i know what they'll be seeing and it doenst include crappy adverts.
personally think macdonalds advertising to kids, and junk food adverising in general, should be illegal!!! have you seen supersize me?? that stuff is poison fgs!

DominiConnor · 06/02/2006 23:36

personally think macdonalds advertising to kids, >and junk food adverising in general, should be >illegal!!!

Neither 2.0 nor 2.1 has never had a McDonalds, despite seeing many McD adverts. Never asked for one either.
We've explained that in the world there are crap people (though using other language) CPs smoke, own dogs which crap on the pavement, eat at McD's, put graffiti on things (both love trains, people who hurt them are bad people) and often live in Leyton.
2.0's self image is that he's better then CPs, and so far it's worked well.

In the particular case of McD I draw upon my marketing education where McD screwed up big time in Japan. Apparently the white face is synonymous with death in traditional Japanese plays. Hence we've always referred to him as "the white face of death", which is beautifully appropriate.

We also point out the expression on the faces of the children with crap parents in McDs. They aren't happy, whereas my kids love eating at decent restaurants.

But I wouldn't ban McD's advertising. My kids don't have the money or desire to go there. If they ask for things I don't want them to have they don't get it.

If I was to form an ordered list of things I don't like on TV, those ads wouldn't get to the top 40.

If I don't want them to watch something, they don't watch it. They get CBeebies and occasional Nick Jr and has done them no harm at all.