toddler problem

[nookies]

Hi
I wondered if anyone else has had this experience. I have a lovely 3 yr old son. Generally we get along pretty well, I think.
Five days of the week I get him & his little brother up & dressed (Dad leaves early for work) and Dad does it at weekends. Every morning (week days and weekend) for about 18 months now he has shouted and cried for his Dad & tells me he doesnt want me. I find it very draining, its a horrid way to start the day. On the days when I drop them at childcare it often means the whole hour or so we share together before I go to work is hellish. Ive tried ignoring it & being cheery, I`ve tried asking him to stop, my husband has tried asking him to stop. But still he persists.
Any advice gratefully received.

maybe turn it into a game? or make a little book that goes through the story of you dressing him, and get him excited about it? or pure old fashioled bribary...i will play trucks with you for 50 seconds for this sock...

I think he's possibly playing up. He's realised that saying he wants daddy gets a reaction. Kids always play up for their mums more than their dads. It shows that you have a good relationship as he feels totally comfortable to show how tired/grumpy he feels in the morning.

Not sure how to tackle improving your lot, a behaviour sticker chart maybe? A reward for behaving well in the morning?

You could be describing my nearly 3 year old DD.
And I must admit, it's the most gut-wrenching feeling, as unreasonable as that may sound! Just yesterday we went out with my friend and in the middle of a shop, she stropped and yelled for Daddy. I know this is going to sound so unhinged , but it really hurts me when she says it, and oh does she say it, yell it and scream it ALOT.

I've thought about it alot, and wondered whether it's because our parenting styles are quite different and she prefers his. Not only because he lets her get away with more stuff, but because he is very calm and patient with her and tends to play alot more than I do - because when im at home I tend to 'get on' with things (and mumsnet) instead of giving her as much attention as he does. This makes her whiny and really quite difficult to deal with, and I get shouty which makes her cry for daddy even more

Could that be your problem too?
Today I tried it his way, concentrated less on the housework (and when I did I got her involved), and got down on the floor and played with her more. I also didn't MN (well, not as much then!). It was very telling when I checked my phone for a message and she said 'nooo mummy! Not phone AGAIN!' I must say her behaviour was so much better as a result. I did get the occasional whinge and one medium sized strop (over wanting 'meat' instead of chicken for dinner, after eating half of her chicken dinner ) but I was calm and a brief visit to the Calm Step helped her calm down and get over it pretty quickly.

And she didn't ask for Daddy once

Just my experiences - hope it helps. Do post back, I know how bad it can make you feel but it's probably alot more common than we think!

thanks so much for your thoughts. It really helped to hear that someone else has experienced this, Ive had some pretty low moments over it. On the whole we have similar parenting styles, if anything Im more of a soft touch.
We really like the sticker chart idea. attack the problem head on but in a positive way. so much better than oscillating between denial and exposing my 3 yr old to my personal anxst!
thankyou ++