21m sleep regression, please help.

[Rubyabcd]

Hi all my dd is 21m in a couple of days and has always been a dream baby, since about 3m old 95% of the time she has slept 7-7 except when ill, teething etc. But recently last few weeks she is waking at various times in the night screaming for mummy and daddy. One of us gets up and cuddles her then putting her back down but she is getting hysterical and virtually hyperventilating when we put her back down.

She has always slept in her own cot since 8weeks and has been marvelous (smug mummy) but at the moment if waking will not settle again unless she falls asleep on either mummy or daddy, we only have a two bed house so if she's in bed with us one of us has been forced downstairs onto the couch so as not to disturb/wake her usually dh as his snoring wakes her!!

Was wondering if her day time nap may have something to do with it as she can easily sleep two hours most afternoons but previously has always slept 12hrs at night too!! I must add though that when she is waking she is not wide awake she falls straight back to sleep as long as we are cuddling her.

Should we be leaving her to cry and not letting her sleep on us , it's horrible to hear her screaming mummy and daddy, this is unfamiliar territory as usually she is so good!! Sorry this has got a bit long!!

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Hi Ruby, your DD is at a peak age for separation anxiety - my DD1 did this too and at the same age. At this age the realise that when you are not there with them, you are not there! and that brings a huge panic - they are not yet able to rationalise that you are in a different room and not completely gone.

You definitely should not leave her to cry, reassurance is the key, but at the same time having her to sleep on you is not great either, especially if she has been sleeping in her own bed.

What I did was to have a mattress and bedding available in DD1's room - if she kicked off, I'd go in to her, settle her down with a cuddle and quiet reassurance and then sleep in the room with her. If she woke again a quiet 'It's OK, Mummy's here' did the trick.

Once she stopped waking up after me joining her, I'd retreat once she was down and go back to my own bed. After about 6 weeks she stopped waking up at all and started sleeping through again.

I was very pg with DD2 at the time so was having a rubbish sleep anyway, and I had floor space in DD1's room so this may not work for you, but letting her cry it out is definitely not the way to go as this change is related to her development - she is becoming self aware and her brain is going through a lot of changes so avoiding stress and providing comfort are really important.

I hope it works for you and you get your nights back soon!

Agree with Pointy.. Separation anxiety could be the issue.

Has she/is she in the middle of learning something new? When they are learning something new their little brains cant process everything at once so quite often they regress on something else.. Sleep being a common thing.
You may find soon she starts doing something completely new.

Its hard but just try settling her and reassuring her. Ive had a few uncomfortable nights on both DD's floors with my hand loosing circulation trying to settle them.
Its a nightmare trying to work out whats going on in their heads :)

Thanks guys, you're both right, there's not a lot of floor space but think I will try and squeeze in, think this is better than letting her sleep on me all the time or letting her cry as that is quite distressing to hear!!

With the learning thing can only think speech, her speech has come on leaps and bounds in the last few weeks!!