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DS aged 2 - socialising etc

6 replies

FrizzyFrazzled · 03/03/2012 02:16

I was just hoping to get some opinions really.
My DS turned 2 last week, and I am 40 +3 with DC2.
I work mostly from home, and my DH freelances too, so between us, we have managed to juggle DS and not had him in any form of childcare away from us. Now, DH works fulltime so I can do a bit of work from home when DC2 arrives. I always wanted to put DS in some form of kindy/daycare when he was around two, just for a day or two a week - however, I haven't because I figure he will have enough upheaval when the baby arrives without having to adjust to childcare as well. Also didn;t want him to feel like he was being shunted out of the way.
So I am thinking of waiting about four months before putting him in a nursrey for a couple of days - which will be about the time I will take on more work anyway, so it makes sense not to have two at home with two.
I am just worried really, that I am not getting him socialising enough. He is very affable and loves other kids, we do soccer every Saturday which he loves, as well as one playgroup a week and every day we either go to the park, a nearby animal farm, or soft play. Do you think this is enough being around other kids? He has a lovely nature, is patient and shares and always concerned if another child is upset, or falls over etc, but he doesn't have any "friends" - which is my fault because I probably don't make enough effort to make "mummy friends" and do playdates. (I'm too tired and have had enough on my plate with work and pregnancy!!)
It concerns me because when baby comes, I feel like I won't be able to get out quite as much, although I will still try to get him to soccer and playgroup, and the odd wander around the park, and I don't want to put my DS at any sort of disadvantage. Should I try and get him to kindy earlier? Would he be better at home with me while he gest used to new baby? Or should we just see how we go?
Are these genuine worries or am I being PFB? DH thinks there is no problem and I am just clutching onto things to worry about!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
RealLifeIsForWimps · 03/03/2012 04:50

I wouldn't worry about the socialising. It sounds like you get out and about a lot, and I'm not sure they really have "friends" at this age- they just beat up play with whoever is there, and the mummy play dates I did as a SAHM were more for my benefit than DS's tbh.

I agree that it would be better to wait a few months to introduce nursery though, especially if he finds it hard to adapt to a new baby (given his temperament he might not, but you never know really until it arrives).

I am going to have DC2 when DS is 22mo and the advice I have had was not to try anything new like "move from cot to bed" or potty training around the time of the new baby as it's just too much change in a short period.

HTH

Octaviapink · 03/03/2012 06:12

Seriously don't worry! Sounds like you're doing exactly the right things. He will definitely be better at home with you while newbie settles in. Two-year-olds don't really have 'friends' in the sense that we understand it and from what you say he's confident and has plenty of social skills in any case. Don't worry - sounds like you're doing fine. When he's two-and-a-half will be a good time for him to start doing something nursery-ish.

Iggly · 03/03/2012 08:06

Only now that DS is 2.5 does he have friends as such and ask to see them. But at just 2, he could take or leave them. So I wouldn't worry. Although I did! And ended up putting DS into nursery for two mornings a week from age 2, which took a bit of getting used to but now I have DD (3 months), it's a welcome albeit short break. He really enjoys it now but less so when he first started.

FrizzyFrazzled · 03/03/2012 09:58

Oh. that is reassuring, thank you for your replies!
Reality, we have bought a bed and a potty but are plannig on waiting a couple of months, once we have settled into some sort of routine, before we push either. DS gets into his bed of his own accord sometimes for his day nap, but never at bedtime.
Will just play it all by ear I guess! (Actually think I might be having "real" contractions as I type, so hopefully will find out how it all goes sooner rather than later!)

OP posts:
mumofthreekids · 03/03/2012 10:58

Agree with the other posters, they don't really have "friends" at just 2, my DS2 is 2.5 and is just recently started to interact more with other children rather than just playing alongside them (or fighting over toys with them!).

I think you're doing the right thing re the new baby and that 2.4 or so is a good age to start childcare.

Good luck with the birth! Or have you had the baby by now?!?

Iggly · 03/03/2012 12:46

Good luck with the birth Grin!

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