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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

a sling is all very well unless your 6 wk old weighs a stone

32 replies

fishandlilacs · 02/03/2012 21:42

any suggestions as to what to do with a gorgeous squidgy beautiful boy who wont be put down, likes to sleep only on me and he weighs so much i can't carry him all the time.

I can't bend when i have him in the sling it hurts my back, I can't crouch it hurts my knees.

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RandomMess · 02/03/2012 21:43

What sling are you using at the moment?

Original poster

fishandlilacs · 02/03/2012 21:45

a very basic ring sling-my tried and trusted one from DD-I had a close sling but I simply couldn't get on with it. Had a baba sling, didn't like it either. My boy hates his legs in the splayed position.

OP posts:

4madboys · 02/03/2012 21:49

i like moby wraps and if you have a ring sling its best to get the woven NON stretchy kind as that will hold the weight better.

wilkinet can also be good.

i found the moby the best, there are several diff postions you can carry the baby in and one of my babies was 11lb at birth and still in the sling months later!

scottishmummy · 02/03/2012 21:57

buy a pram
give your back a rest
some bright toys, play arch he'll get used to it
there no rule says you need him glued to you
put him in pram,he'll adapt.but don't fussy an luck up all time,nice long walks in park etc

BertieBotts · 02/03/2012 22:03

Try back carries? Daunting with a newborn but totally safe as long as you support the head. Best to practice until confident with experienced babywearing friend if you happen to have one handy, or at a sling meet if not. Can be done at a push using video tutorials, sitting over a soft surface but obviously only you know how comfortable you feel with this.

Whether you do this or not you probably want a very supportive sling, a woven wrap or a wide strap Mei Tai, not a one-shoulder one or a stretchy one. Normally the stretch is fine because you start off with a small baby and build up tolerance as they get bigger. When you're starting with a heavier baby, you need to build up this tolerance from scratch. Wilkinet will be no use, good only for small babies in my experience. Most soft structured carriers you will find very little flexibility for leg positioning, although the Manduca might be a good bet as it is adjustable for different ages of baby which is really helpful.

If he doesn't like his legs in the outward "M" position, try crossing his legs froggy-style. This means the knees are still higher than the hips which is the correct anatomical position. If you're not sure what it looks like, sit with your legs crossed, like primary school children in assembly, and then pull your knees up so your thighs are upright but your calves and shins are still crossed.

Octaviapink · 03/03/2012 06:17

You could definitely try an Ergo - people rave about them and they're much more comfortable for you to carry. With the newborn insert he can go on your back and it might work better for both of you (am definitely getting an Ergo if we're successful in going for DC3 this summer). Babies develop and settle much quicker in slings, as I'm sure you already know, so it'd be great if you can find one that suits! Yahoo Groups has slingmeet details near you and they often have sling 'libraries' you can use to test them out till you find one you like.

llamallama · 03/03/2012 06:31

I would defintely recommend finding out if you have a sling library near by. I visited my one (south London) for the first time last week and it was fantastic!!! Run by an amazing woman, she had dozens of different slings and the place was full of women with children from newborn to toddlers!

She gave advice on different slings, showed me how to tie them correctly and we walked away with a babyhawk (mei tai) for my 5 month old DD. it cost me £5 for two weeks hire! I love the sling and have ordered one for myself. When I return it I'm going to see if I can borrow something else to try, probably a woven ring sling for around the house.

Google to see if there is one close to you and go along to try some slings out!

Iggly · 03/03/2012 06:33

A pram is all very well until you have a baby that screams (DS did this and it was shit going out).

However most babies get happier in a pram from 3 months on.

So you're halfway there. Try a different more structured sling? Ok baby Bjorns aren't great but some people get on with them. Or something like an ergo/manduca. Their legs aren't splayed - they're bent at the knees as they would be in other ring slings etc. I have a manduca and a 2 year old so can carry DD (13 weeks) and sort DS.

Molehillmountain · 03/03/2012 07:47

I use a Kari me stretchy wrap with my eight month old. The last weight I remember was eighteen pounds but that was a while ago. I honestly don't feel her weight. You can have the baby in lots of different positions.

HelloShitty · 03/03/2012 07:52

I also have a Babyhawk Mei-Tai. My DS is now 2.6 years and we still occasionally put him in it when he gets tired. I carried him in it regularly until he was about 2. No idea how heavy he is, but certainly more than 11lbs. Mei Tais are brilliant for distributing the weight and I've never felt any strain on my back.

Broodzilla · 03/03/2012 08:13

I've got a Baby Björn for quick nips around the shop (it's easy to pop on while still in the car), a Close for the first few weeks when the baby still needs neck support and a Kozy for when they're a bit older. DD is only 4 weeks, so still in the Close/BB but DS was a heavy baby (97th%!) and he practically lived in the Kozy! As others have said, try a different sling/carry, you WILL find one that works for both of you. I have scoliosis so couldn't use a ring sling, and DS hated being in it... But I can't rave enough about the Kozy: DS would breastfeed in it, even while I did the shopping (he was completely out of sight!), I had my hands free... When he got a bit older (and less likely to need a feed whilst carried :) ) we did the back-carry. He was well over 1 year when he was still in it (and by then must've been near 2 stone)!

WidowWadman · 03/03/2012 08:33

I'm using a MeiTai (Babyhawk, but there's lots of brands) and still sometimes carry my 12kg 3 yo in it, when she is way too tired to walk and threatens to fall off the buggyboard because she fell asleep.

I think sling library is the best advice on this thread. And I'm not anti-pushchair. It just depends on the situation which one is more practical.

nappymaestro · 03/03/2012 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

fishandlilacs · 03/03/2012 09:41

Dear everyone-thanks so so much for all the useful helpful advice on here. I really hadn't considered that it might be the sling-and of course people carry children much older who are likely to be heavier than my (13lb at birth) squidge.

The close sling was too stretchy-I may try an ergo and I do have a sling library nearby that i can go to.

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 03/03/2012 09:46

Brilliant that you're going to try other slings. DD was in a sling permanently until 6 months (she weighed 25lbs at that point) and in it very regularly until 2+. DS is 6 months (and significantly more than a stone) and lives in the sling.

We just changed sling as dd's weight changed (and as my weight changed, which does make a difference), her physical abilities changed etc. A ring was only good for her when she was much older and sitting in a toddler side carry. She liked coories and the ergo at a very young age. DS hates both and is much more comfortable in a good stretchy wrap in a front carry.

Octaviapink · 03/03/2012 12:03

I had a Close for DS and although it was great when he was tiny (which lasted all of a fortnight) after that it was too stretchy because he was piling on the pounds and nearly fell out. Used a Bjorn for quick-and-dirty carries and a non-stretchy wrap for longer jaunts.

MigGril · 03/03/2012 21:49

I carry DS who's 16months in a lovely NapSack meitai type sling, and I agree with Iggy some baby's just hat pram's DD did and would scream blue murder when in one. Why would you inflict that on a new baby?

Oh and I have bad back problems and can still carry DS everyday you just need the right sling for you.

SoftSheen · 04/03/2012 11:10

I would second others' suggestions of an Ergo carrier- despite having a slightly dodgy back I still regularly carry 1 yo, 10 kg DD with no problems. It's a great carrier. You would need to get the infant insert for a 6 week old.

RealLifeIsForWimps · 04/03/2012 11:50

Ergo has a long shelf life- I still carry 18mo DS in it (13kg) for an hour at a time and I'm 20 wks pregnant. I know people who still occasionally use it for 3 yr olds so although they're expensive, they do last.

Just be careful of buying on e-bay as there are loads of fakes around and they are not safe because the stitching/clasps may not hold.

Octaviapink · 04/03/2012 12:40

RealLife - how can you tell if it's a fake Ergo? If it's a second hand one from a reliable seller do you think it would be safe? We can't afford a new Ergo (all the DC's stuff comes from ebay) and I was relying on getting a second hand one!

Original poster

fishandlilacs · 04/03/2012 16:05

I have borrowed an ergo from my freind but as i'm pretty karge framed and quite overweight the waist bit doesn't fit me-but i understand there are waist extensions available.

OP posts:

Smugfearnleyshittingstool · 04/03/2012 16:11

A good woven, like didymos, easy to use when you get the hang of it and IMO babes love it, mine certainly does. We started off with front carries until she was five months then she moved on to my back. At 2 now she walks but I take a wrap in my bag for longer walks home of if she gets tired. She's always asleep in five mins too, and she can see everything at eye level over my shoulder!

exexpat · 04/03/2012 16:12

If the baby is only 6 weeks old, you probably haven't got your core muscle strength back yet either, which will make lifting/carrying heavy weights much harder too.

It might be worth trying a few gentle Pilates-style exercises to work on the core muscles around your abdominal/lower back/pelvic area.

PogoBob · 04/03/2012 16:40

DD was pretty much 14lbs at 6 weeks and I'm a fat bap generously built, I found a connecta worked for us but they are quite expensive and DD took against it as soon as got better head control at 11 weeks and wanted to look round so would be worth seeing if you could borrow one first.

lonesomeBiscuit · 04/03/2012 22:09

Is there a reason you need to carry him? My DS was a chubster (8kg at 8 weeks, 13kg at 6 months...still 13kg at 15 months!!) and I tried both the Connecta and Ergo (spent a fortune) but still found him too heavy to carry for more than 20 minutes, and even that hurt my back. I got stronger as he grew - but keeping pace with his weight rather than able to cope better with it, IFYSWIM.

He also would only sleep on me. My solution was to park myself somewhere cosy (bed or sofa), with laptop or novel, and stay there while he napped. Sometimes I'd nap too. Blissful days. It meant spending a couple of hours at a time on the bed, and I didn't get much else (other than mumsnetting!) done - but it kept him happy and the snuggly feeling was wonderful. When out meeting friends, I'd park him on my chest and lean back while he slept. I have some very funny photos of him, enormous-sized, clinging to me koala-style like the young baby he really was.

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