why does 3.5yr old bit her nails??

blossom2 · 2006-01-29T19:47:33+00:00

my DD has completely taken off the nail of one of her fingers. i am worried. why do kids that young bite their nails?? could it be 1) anxious about things 2) stressed about things 3) bored or all of the above ... and how do i find out why she does it?? is there a reason??? help me understand what is going through her mind. i know there has been lots of change, but she has always bitten her nails since she was a toddler ....

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Lonelymum · 29/01/2006 19:50

How do you mean she has completely taken the nail of one finger? Literally, she has no nail there? ISn't that awfully painful?

I don't know about what it might signify, but I wanted to tell you that my ds1 (aged 9) bites his finger nails so effectively he scarcely ever needs them cut. I don't see him biting his nails but his nails don't grow! H ehas done this for eyars. I always assumed it was because he used to hate having his nails cut when he was little and he found a way to avoid the dreaded scissors.

WigWamBam · 29/01/2006 19:52

If she's done it since she was a toddler, it's probably just habit now - that's why most adults who bite their nails do it after all, and children do it too.

Original poster

blossom2 · 29/01/2006 19:53

yep completely taken nail off ... it must be painfull but she hasnt said so. she actually bites and then chews then eats the nail. i bite my nails to, so perhaps its something i need to stop and she will stop - maybe something we can bond over (how sad) ...

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ShaysMummy · 29/01/2006 19:53

when i was small i bit mine purely coz some other kid i knew did.

Original poster

blossom2 · 29/01/2006 19:56

WWB - thats what i thinking, that she's developed an adult habit and that there is no real reason why she does it.

but it all just feels too grown up for my little girl...

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Lonelymum · 29/01/2006 20:02

I hesitate to write this but do you know you can buy stuff to paint on kids nails (or adults for that matter!) which tastes unpleasant and stops them biting their nails? The reason I hesitated to say this was because my dh bought this stuff and painted it on my ds2's thumb because he used to suck his thumb and dh wanted him to stop. I thought it was very cruel and was cross with dh for buying and using it without consulting me. Ds2 carried on sucking his thumb but has stopped now, so I feel justified in my oppostion to the stuff.

However, if you want your dd to stop biting her nails (and she does seem to bites them to extremes) then it is perhaps an option to try.

WigWamBam · 29/01/2006 20:04

blossom, you say she's developed an adult habit, but nail biting is usually something that starts in childhood - which is why so many adults can't stop, they've been doing it so long! It's not really a grown up thing, it's a childhood thing that adults just can't shake off.

How old is she now? Is she old enough to try something like Stop n Grow?

Original poster

blossom2 · 29/01/2006 20:06

i kind of have a plan to wait until she is 4 yrs and get her some nail varnish and paint her nails. then make it a big deal of not being able to paint the short ones and she asking her to grow it so that we'll be able to paint those too .. i will do the same ... what do you think??

i wont rule out the option of the no-bite varnish but dont want it to feel like a punishment - IYKWIM

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Original poster

blossom2 · 29/01/2006 20:06

i kind of have a plan to wait until she is 4 yrs and get her some nail varnish and paint her nails. then make it a big deal of not being able to paint the short ones and she asking her to grow it so that we'll be able to paint those too .. i will do the same ... what do you think??

i wont rule out the option of the no-bite varnish but dont want it to feel like a punishment - IYKWIM

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Original poster

blossom2 · 29/01/2006 20:06

i kind of have a plan to wait until she is 4 yrs and get her some nail varnish and paint her nails. then make it a big deal of not being able to paint the short ones and she asking her to grow it so that we'll be able to paint those too .. i will do the same ... what do you think??

i wont rule out the option of the no-bite varnish but dont want it to feel like a punishment - IYKWIM

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Original poster

blossom2 · 29/01/2006 20:09

i remember biting my nails as a child and still do it sometimes if i'm anxious so its probably not surprising that DD does it too...

maybe i should ignore it as much as possble and hope it goes away, until she is a little older - perhaps 4/5/6 yrs

sorry for the last 3 posts, clicked to many times ...

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thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 29/01/2006 20:18

blossom2 I really sympathise dd1 did this for about a year-6 months. I was totally devastated to see her at her first school sports day standing around like a lost wee thing gnawing at her nails, clearly incredibly anxious - she had been put in a team where she didn't know ANYONE . I think the whole thing was anxiety related but felt all I could do was be as positive as possible about school etc, paint her nails with that horrid-tasting stuff and give her rewards for not biting them. It worked - not sure if it had anything to do with me or if she just settled in at school and the anxiety went away. I also talked to her a lot about school and asked her if anything upset her - but I'm no pyscologist and not sure if that was a good thing or if I was just putting ideas into her head. all in all this is not a very helpful posting - but I do sympathise and I do know that feeling of not knowing what's going on in their little heads. try to keep positive about life in general and she may well learn to stop.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 29/01/2006 20:21

the stop n grow stuff need not be cruel - dd positively wanted it cos she did want to stop. and it was certainly never a punishment.

Original poster

blossom2 · 29/01/2006 22:52

i do think the nail-biting is due to anxiety of some sort, i just wished i knew what, so that i could make it better.

there has been so much change for her & us that i should not be surprised. it makes me feel sad and guilty for not being able to do something about it ...

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colditz · 29/01/2006 22:54

I started biting my nails when I was 6. My mother did. I don't remember feeling anxious at all though, it was just something I did!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 29/01/2006 23:42

I think if you can't identify and solve the problem (and there might not even be one, but in dd's case I did feel there was) then you just have to provide positive stuff, if that makes sense - make a bit of extra time to sit with her and do something together that she enjoys and which is something you can praise her for. does she go to nursery? does she have particular friends (ie not just your friends' children) can you do some play dates? I so sympathise cos it tore me apart - it sounds daft, I know, over something like nail-biting but dd did get over it.