'Bits' and 'willies' game.

[poppiesinaline]

Friend X has a little girl nearly 5. Friend Y has a boy nearly 6. Friend Y knows that her lad seems to have a crazy fascination with girls private bits! I know this is a 'normal' stage but he is bordering on obsession! She can not leave him alone in a room with a girl it is that bad. Anyway, Friend X saw Friend Y yesterday. On the way home Friend X's little girl told her mummy that boy Y had asked to see her 'bits'. When she said 'no' he said that if she didn't he would beat her up. So she let him but was a little upset about it. Apparently, he poked his fingers up there too!

Isn't this a bit odd? I know both families really well and I am 110 percent sure that there is no child abuse going on before anyone suggests that! But surely, this little boy's obsession is OTT? How can my friend stop this happening?!

anyone!!

I haven't got much experience as my dd is only 2.5 but just so you know someone's read you post.

btw, yes, i do think poking is a little ott. touching - normal but poking should be addressed by boy's parents due to infections, possible pain and discomfort etc.

Im sure the little boy is just genuinely curiouse to find out about these bits that he doesnt have!

Even so its not appropriate, and IMO the parents should let him know why he mustnt do it etc!

He has done it with another friends little girl too. His mum is very aware of it but is at a loss to know how to stop him doing it apart from never leaving him alone with girls!

Sorry, he said he would 'beat her up' if she didn't show him and then poked his fingers up there! I think it's one thing to be curious, but this is pushing the limits a bit and I'd be concerned about this.

Maybe a HV could advise on how to deal with his questions. Also, no, don't leave him alone with girls if he is going to threaten them.

This child does sond like he needs some help.

You say you know both families, but do you know the extended families uncles etc.

I don't believe there is ever a way to be 110% sure that there's no child abuse going on.

To threaten then assault is adult behaviour, not child behaviour; not a case of inquisitiveness but a situation where he believes he has a right to access private areas of girls bodies. To 'poke his fingers up there' is adult behaviour and could cause damage physically. The whole situation is almost certainly damaging psychologically.

If it was my daughter, I would have contacted people for advice by now (be it health visitor, doctor, etc) without a doubt. If the mother is aware, how on earth did a situation arise where he was left alone with a girl?

How long running is this 'obsession'? I would be extremely concerned for him and any girls he's in contact with at present.

I agree with Levanna. It doesn't sound right to me. Can you really be sure there isn't anything untoward? I'm sorry if it sounds as though I am insulting your friends, but I really couldn't ignore this.

I would say Friend Y needs to consult a qualified child/play therapist ASAP. His behavior really does seem to go beyond normal curiousity.

The little boy's behaviour is nowhere near normal, I have 3 boys and 3 girls and they are all under the age of 6.
The 2 and 3 year old girls strip off and walk around naked given half a chance! And sometimes the boys do too! But, not even once have we heard any comments about each others private parts, not even curiosity about the difference between the sexes.
They most certainly do not "touch" each other's private parts, I can guarantee you that. And should we ever experience that then we would seek professional help immediately.
Where has the innocence of childhood gone to? Young children do not think of 'private' body parts as being any different to any other body part, mine certainly don't anyway.
There's no way that a child would know about these things, it's all to do with the influence of the adults in their lives.
I do not agree that any person, no matter how close a friendship they have with anyone,can possibly know for certain that no sexual abuse takes place behind closed doors in any other person's home.
The behaviour of this boy is a great cause for concern, something should be done about it immediately, and if his mother doesn't seek help, then you, as a friend should. For all you know, maybe there's a reason why the mother allows it to continue, maybe she fears what else would be revealed if the authorities got involved?
If this boy is allowed to continue like this when he's so young, then it can only get more serious as he gets older. Please do something about it BEFORE something really awful happens that will ruin a young girls life for ever.
I'm sorry to say this, but I feel that you have a duty to report this, as allowing it to go on will mean that you will be guilty of whatever 'damage' he does to anyone's daughter in time to come.

I would keep them apart. He assaulted her, didn't he although he's too young to make the mental intention to do it. She needs to be taught what to allow and what noe but she's only 4.

His mother will have to make sure he's not alone with girls.