Help! I need strategies to help HSC DS feel ok about going to school

[Heathen]

Hi all. My DS is 5 and has been very reluctant to go to school for a while now. I recently discovered the book 'The Highly Sensitive Child' by Elaine Aron and immediately recognised that this is his personality type, no question. Every morning now he begs me to let him stay at home and I try to find ways of helping him to feel ok about going without it becoming a huge issue. There's far too much to go into here so what I'm asking for is simple stategies to enthuse / distract / give confidence to my DS first thing in the morning. If we can get past the 'begging not to go' stage when he wakes up, we can usually get him to school without further upset but I'm running out of ideas! Any advice would be very welcome!

Did wonder if I should have put this in the 'primary education' thread? Are you allowed to put a message in two threads at once?

Hi Heathen - I see no harm in posting in both! Sorry I can't offer any advice, apart from stuff I'm sure you're doing already, such as not starting the day with "time to get up, don't want to be late for school"! I guess I'd focus on the weather, then breakfast, and hope he's more up for it once properly awake and fed.

What does his teacher say?

Hi BlueChampagne - thanks for responding. I've now put the message in the education thread too. I've been doing distraction techniques but fear he's going to rumble me soon! Have had a couple of chats with his teacher but due for another one I trhink! Have no idea how to approach the 'Highly Sensitive' issue with her without sounding unbearably precious!

this might sound a bit weird but have you tried playing schools with him? there might be specific behaviour from others/things that he has issues with that you can work through together through play to help him get through his day. Asking what he doesn't like about school or why he doesn't want to go usually doesn't help but through play he can "show" you what might upset him and you can "show" him how to get by. Using toys/action figures etc helps with the role play.

That's a really good idea MissWooWoo - thanks! I'm going to try that when he gets home.

there might not even be a specific problem just a general unease and "practising" in a safe environment might help build up confidence - could take a while ... good luck!

Hi - how about asking his teacher if he can take a disposable camera into school and take photos of things/people/toys he likes. You can make a book with the photos and use it to read at home so that the focus is on things that make him happy when he's actually there. There will definitely be an adult to help make sure that the photos are not just of the floor!

Ps I'm a teacher and this something I've done a lot with nervous/reluctant chidren. Usually works a treat but don't try and use it when he's upset. Take time when he's calm and happy so he can talk with enthusiasm about school rather than you trying to placate him with it. I've found a lot that you don't need to 'find out what's wrong' just get the attention on what's great. Of course you know your guy best so it might need a little delving but the book certainly can't hurt. Good luck

Thanks so much guys for all the advice! I really want to respond to everyone individually but I just haven't got time right now ! I really do appreciate it and as soon as things calm down a bit here I will respond. It's my sister's 40th today and she's driven 300 miles to visit us - we're just off to the pub now !