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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My Mummy keeps feeding me at night. Can't she do anything else?

43 replies

StewedApple · 29/02/2012 09:00

So it's 4 am and baby is awake. Not screaming in misery but very loudly talking to herself. After a nappy change (the reason she woke), offering cooled boiled water as I've been recommended to replace a night feed and it being refused, up goes the top for a quick feed to sleep. 10 minutes later and we're all happy asleep.

I'm sure this wasn't really necessary, but I just don't know what else to try to get lovely DD back to sleep (in such a quick time anyway). She can do 11 to 6 after her bottle and doesn't need the food.

Worried I'm making one of those rods for my back I've heard sooooo much about.

Any ideas? Do I just need to get over it and keep rocking till the sleep rolls in? (doesn't have a dummy).

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StealthPolarBear · 29/02/2012 09:02

How old is she?
I have never found the rod thing to be the case - as they grow older things change anyway. DD used to feed pretty much all night until she was 2, then she just started sleeping, and has done since (she's now 2 and a half, hope I haven't jinxed it!)

hubbahubster · 29/02/2012 09:07

How old is she?

DS is 7mo and I do cooled boiled water like you in the night. But TBH on the odd occasion it doesn't work, I don't see a problem with a bit of milk. Like you, I only use it as a last resort. I hear good things about white noise - could you try that?

Sorry I can't be much help as I'm in the same boat, but this 'rod for your own back' business doesn't really apply when the solution isn't a PITA, IMO. As long as the milk feed is quick and you all get plenty o sleep, who cares?

Original poster

StewedApple · 29/02/2012 09:10

She's 4 months.

[run's and hides under the sofa from being told it is too early to worry...]

Did you ever try anything else other than feeding to get your little one to sleep? Did you decide it just wasn't worth it??

OP posts:

cerys74 · 29/02/2012 09:10

DS (8mo) has been waking in the night recently, not needing food but wanting fuss. I've been rubbing his stomach gently (in dark) and making shushing sounds until he calms down enough to go back to sleep. Did also pick him up initially; this calmed him down much faster but he got proportionally more furious when put down again. So we've been going with no food but gentle reassurance (delivered in a very boring manner) to encourage him to go back down. He does sometimes wake up and chat to himself but we leave him to get on with it! If it escalates we go in, if not he usually drifts back off.

HTH

CMOTDibbler · 29/02/2012 09:11

My ds would never take water at night - if he woke and was hungry he wanted milk either from me or ebm if I wasn't there. At 18 months, he stopped it and has never been awake in the night for more than 3 minutes since.
For me, it was far easier to feed him while I was lying down sleeping than anything else, and its worked out fine in the long run.

cerys74 · 29/02/2012 09:13

Ooh, just saw post about DD's age; 4 months is notorious for sleep pattern changes I'm afraid! At that age I think I might cave in and feed a bit then get all tough love later on

Original poster

StewedApple · 29/02/2012 09:13

Ooh yes white noise is a good idea. Not sure I could get it loud enough without disturbing next door. Maybe it'll help them sleep too!

I have found the vacuum works wonders in the day though...

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bagelmonkey · 29/02/2012 09:14

I think 4 months is too early to worry. But my DD is 13 months & I've only stopped night feeds for the same purpose (ie definitely not hunger) this week.

worldgonecrazy · 29/02/2012 09:17

We didn't stop night feeds until nearer a year. I can't remember the exact date but we offered water in the night too. You have some really big growth spurts to get through in the coming months, and night feeding is a godsend. How can anything that makes baby happy and you get the maximum sleep a rod in any way shape or form?

Original poster

StewedApple · 29/02/2012 09:19

cerys74 just wondering if I can avoid the tough love later by trying something else now. But maybe it just isn't worth it. From what everyone is saying she is perhaps a bit young to be too worried.

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hubbahubster · 29/02/2012 09:19

Too early! grins

There are a lot of changes at 4mo as previous poster said. If she's just waking once at this age, you're doing well. I only started water at night once DS was eating three meals a day, so give it another couple of months.

StealthPolarBear · 29/02/2012 09:20

At 4 months do whatever makes you and her happy. If that's feeding all night (while you sleep) fine. It's far too early to worry about bad habits
.(sorry :o)

If you don't WANT to feed at night, that;s another thing, although she is still very young, and my opinion is that if she needs milk at night, she needs it.

Original poster

StewedApple · 29/02/2012 09:22

worldgonecrazy I'm being told I should stop by close friends. Both just stopped bfing at night one day and never did it again. One would always just put the dummy in DS mouth and leave him. The other stopped when baby was still hungry at night IMO and she was WAY too early (before 8 weeks early)! But DD doesn't need feeding at the moment, which is why I am questioning it.

OP posts:

hubbahubster · 29/02/2012 09:23

Oh, I did try shushing and patting but DS just got really upset. Wasn't worth the bother so back to milk!

Original poster

StewedApple · 29/02/2012 09:24

hubbabubster I think this might happen to me

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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 29/02/2012 09:26

4 months is a huge growth spurt time for babies, so they need the calories to grow and develop. 4 months is too young to be offering water IMO.

Spagbolagain · 29/02/2012 09:28

Sorry, another too early from me :)

Most 4 month olds are still having a night feed IME. My bf DS kept up a night feed till 10 months and would have gone longer if we hadn't night weaned, bu there is no way I would've settled without the boob till he was well into weaning. fed to sleep for all naps and night feeds.

No rods seemed to be created, when we stopped doing it he accepted quite easily after a couple of nights, I think he was old enough to do it though. A breastfed baby cries for food and comfort at the breast, and till they are older I think it's easiest just to give it. 11 till 6 consistently I think would be quite unusual at this age for a bf baby.

StealthPolarBear · 29/02/2012 09:28

How do you know she doesn't need feeding (not having a go, genuine question)?

PeggyCarter · 29/02/2012 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worldgonecrazy · 29/02/2012 09:31

How do you know she doesn't need feeding?? Because you're being told by adults or because DD is communicating to you in some way that she doesn't need feeding?

Breastfeeding is about much more than just getting calories/nutrition down your babies neck. It's about building relationships and giving comfort. Please don't feel pressurised by well-meaning friends into not giving nightfeeds. If they weren't important, Mother Nature wouldn't have invented them. It's also worth noting that the nightfeeds are when the milk-producing hormones are most active so they're an important part of keeping your supply going.

Your friends may be extremely lucky and have one of those rare babies that does sleep through the night from a young age. You haven't. Why should it be wrong to offer your baby a quick nightfeed if that is what works best for you?

Original poster

StewedApple · 29/02/2012 09:33

StealthPolarBear just from the signals she gives me really. If she wakes in the night needing food I get a full on cry and then frantic feeding. If it is a dirty nappy that wakes her she just has a 'chat' sqwark to herself and when I feed back to sleep she isn't that frantic, but it does send her back to dream land.

OP posts:

Original poster

StewedApple · 29/02/2012 09:35

Ok, beginning to feel mean now... Maybe my post title should have read 'My mean Mummy is thinking about no night feeds... HELP!'.

OP posts:

Pearla · 29/02/2012 09:36

I think she probably does need it, sorry.

Don't worry, it is unlikely there will be a rod. :)

Bunbaker · 29/02/2012 09:36

Sorry, but another one here that says 4 months is too early to stop night feeds if that is what your baby requires. Perhaps she is going through a growth spurt.

legallyblond · 29/02/2012 09:46

4 months!!!! You should not be dropping any feeds, night or day and should be still feeding entirely on demand.

No need to drop any feeds at all until you are well on your way with weaning (eg 7-8 months).

I am still (breast)feeding DD to sleep if she stirs at night at 16 months. Its quick, easy and I am in no doubt whatsoever that she will grow out of it/not need it when I/she decide to stop bf. As it is, she and I are "awake" (barely) for max 5 mins and then we both sleep soundly afterwards. This stays exactly the same even if DD is ill or teething. Friends who have nightweaned have some very good nights, but ther DC are awake for hours when then are ill/teething etc becasue they have no known way to be comforted and feel safe to go back to sleep. It's horses for course with older DCs, but nightweaning isn't generally reccommended until at least 12 months. 4 months is practically newborn!

Need is emotional as well as physical/pure hunger. On a purely metabolic level, she might not need milk (although at 4 months, I doubt that). At four months I would certainly say that she needs the comfort and security of bf at night. This emotional need is no less important thab hunger IMO.

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