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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

11 week old baby very nervous in water

23 replies

SJF48 · 28/02/2012 14:37

My 11 week old DD is very nervous of water. When we bath her in a tummy tub, she often looks tense and sometimes cries. We try to relax her by holding her hands and being jolly ourselves and sometimes she will relax a bit, but overall she is not keen.

I'd also enrolled in baby swimming lessons before this nervousness became apparent and we went for the first lesson last week. She was very nervous and after a bit started to cry so I took her out. I'm not sure whether to continue with the lessons, the teacher didn't suggest anything that helped (she suggested a wet suit and to calm her down out of the pool before bringing her back in and for me to smile at her).

Is this something that babies just grow out of? What else can I do to help her enjoy the water? Both my husband and I are confident in water ourselves and we'd like her to become comfortable with it too.

OP posts:

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FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 28/02/2012 14:40

I'd give her a few months and then try. She is very young. Maybe just wash her down with a flannel at bathtime for a bit. My dd didn't really enjoy baths until she could sit up and splash properly.

RitaMorgan · 28/02/2012 14:41

Try getting in the bath with her. If she doesn't like swimming I wouldn't take her yet.

OhBuggerandArse · 28/02/2012 14:41

She is very very very small. I would just leave it for a bit and see how she feels in a month or two - no harm will come if you don't even bath her till then! Sponge baths (do top and bottom with the other bit still dressed so she doesn't get cold) are fine for a bit, and there's all the time in the world for swimming.
She might like to get in the big bath cuddled up with one of you, so she feels a bit more supported and warmer?

SootySweepandSue · 28/02/2012 14:48

I really wouldn't worry about this at all. She is far too young to be taking up hobbies. I tried baby swimming for a while and my DD was not keen at all. I persevered for about 5 weeks as I paid for the term and they don't do refunds, but it was hopeless. She was just not into it! Now she's about 18 mos and goes to the pool with daddy but is just messing around and doesn't go underwater. I am not convinced that all babies love water and swimming. I think it's an urban myth. I would say that only for the last couple of months does DD actively enjoy baths, but that's because there are good toys in there and she finds it funny splashing water in my face!

Heyyyho · 28/02/2012 14:50

She is so tiny. Pls don't feel pressured to do it, hold off for a few months. Some babies just don't like it dd didn't.

Beamur · 28/02/2012 14:52

My DD was not keen and still doesn't like being splashed or getting her face wet. She's 5. She enjoys going to the swimming pool now though and I'm thinking about lessons soon.

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 28/02/2012 15:00

Mt 4 month-old DS used to wail his way through baby swimming lessons, while all of the other babies bobbed around contentedly and didn't appear to notice that they'd just been dunked under the water. I used to be and about it, as I assumed it somehow reflected badly on my parenting skills.

We lasted about 6 weeks until I gave it up as a bad job.

DS (now 2) LOVES going swimming - and has done for the past yr. We go to the pool and mess around...no dunking or diving or faffing around with woggles. He can learn to swim when he's a bit older...

Pearla · 28/02/2012 15:03

Perhaps you could take her in the bath with you? My DS loves the water, but I don't think all babies do. He didn't have a bath on his own until he was about 6 months though. I think the reassurance of my presence helped initially. Maybe give it a try and see if it helps.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 28/02/2012 15:08

Definitely second either you or your partner in the bath with her. 11 weeks is quite young for swimming pool/lessons. We took DS2 last week (17 wks) and he was very hesitant and started crying but after a few minutes relaxed and started enjoying it. He's not great in the bath either. Temperature seems to be a factor too. DS1 liked warmer baths so maybe try altering that.

Africagirl1 · 28/02/2012 19:15

A tip for the bath - we put a facecloth on DS's tummy. It seemed to make him feel more secure

Snakeonaplane · 28/02/2012 19:18

Are you sure the waters not to cold/hot ? What happens if you bath with her. My 11 week old does that face when the temp is wrong but is totally chilled. It needs to be warm list of people make baths the temp of their skin which is too cold.

Snakeonaplane · 28/02/2012 19:19

The pool is too cold at this age IMO.

Snakeonaplane · 28/02/2012 19:20

Terrible typos, bf baby . lots of people and dd is chilled at right temp

Bewler · 28/02/2012 19:22

I used to breastfeed DD in the bath to make her feel relaxed and it was great skin to skin so maybe try that if you are BF?

CuriosityCola · 28/02/2012 19:25

My 6 month ds loves the bath and I think it is because we started bath times by going in together. Either dh or I would have him on our chest and then lie with him in it for a couple of minutes. It was more for relaxing than getting cleaned. The heating would be cranked up for him getting out.

As for swimming lessons, we just started a couple of weeks ago. So far he likes it no less/more than babies that have been going for months (they can't swim any better either).

OpenMindedSceptic · 28/02/2012 19:34

I think 11 weeks is very young for swimming, especially if your baby is not sure about water yet. We started swimming much later and even then DS hated it. We did 2 levels and gave up level 2 half way through. He hated his bath for months afterwards.

kiki22 · 28/02/2012 22:59

Have you tried taking her in the shower instead? I started taking my niece in the shower at 5 months she liked it much better than the bath.

My DS is 3 weeks old and i started taking him in the showerlast week he loves it too puts his head back on his own to get his hair under and doesn't bother with getting his face splashed again he scream in the bath tho.

My theory with the shower is your holding on to them so they feel secure and they don't have the weightless feeling you get in water so again feel more secure. Once DN was used to the shower and water over her face liked the bath and swimming a lot better.

disclaimer i wouldn't advise using any soap while holding baby i sit him on his bath seat at the other end of the bath soap him up and bring shower head down to rinse him before lifting him again slippy baby is not good!

Northernlurker · 28/02/2012 23:07

I didn't think it was advised to take them swimming until after the first set of vaccinations was complete? Maybe I'm out of date - my youngest is nearly 5.

OP - look she's very young. The water is cold and noisy and different and she's held differently in it and she can't smell things as well and people keep splashing near her face - would you like it? I'm with your dd tbh.

Pack it in till she's a bit bigger and better able to regulate her temperature.

Original poster

SJF48 · 28/02/2012 23:09

Thanks for all the comments. Regarding the swimming, we're going to give it one or two more attempts and then stop. My husband is coming with me next time so we can get her out and dressed quickly if she isn't keen again. The teacher seems to think we should keep coming and says it often takes a few weeks for them to get used to it, but I don't want to keep going if it upsets her. Thinking of stopping then trying again while on holiday this summer when she'd be 6 - 8 mths. I've heard from a few other friends etc of babies who just don't like it.

As for bath time, I did try taking her in with me once. How much water do people put in? We did it when I had a bath myself then once the water had cooled to a suitable temp, she came in with me. Because the bath was full, I couldn't hold her close because then she was out of the water and getting cold, but when I held her in the water away from me she was upset.

The shower idea is something I hadn't thought of, we may give that one a go. Thanks Kikki22.

OP posts:

hubbahubster · 29/02/2012 09:16

I'd put her in the bath with you first, as the products you use probably aren't suitable for a baby. Just put a little lavender in the water if it's before bed, then maybe your DP can scoop her out and get her ready for bed while you add a little extra hot water and get yourself washed. That's what we do and it works well - DH gets daddy bonding time and I get a peaceful bath.

I took DS swimming from 9 weeks, but only because he loved the water. I wouldn't have bothered otherwise. There are plenty of other things you can do with her - maybe signing or singing? There's bound to be a group in your area.

CuriosityCola · 29/02/2012 10:08

Dh used to hold ds against his chest (tummy to tummy) and lie back in the bath. Only ds's lower half was in the water. We then put a wet flannel on ds's back and kept gently pouring more water on it. It was nice bonding time for them. Later ds sat in a net chair from mother care.

Just go with what feels right and like others have said they don't really need a bath yet.

At the pool, is it heated? It can make a real difference. Make sure little one is wearing a wetsuit and that you have a t-shirt on for clinging on to.

gourd · 29/02/2012 11:30

Ours enjoyed the bath to start with, seemed to find it relaxing, but began to hate it around 3 months old, especially hair washing. Hated swimming sessions right from the start (even in vastly expensive warm hydrotherapy pool lessons) at 3 months so we stopped after 10 weeks/10 sessions and tried again when LO was about 8 months - still isn't keen now at 17 months but will tolerate it if other children are there to provide entertainment! I'm sure LO will eventually learn to swim but some people just don't enjoy swimming so we may have to accept that it's never going to be the most preferable activity for our LO. RE: bathing - we found showering a lot easier once the baby bath was outgrown. LO still doesn't exactly enjoy it, but having toys as a distraction and the few minutes LO is in there compared to much longer bath time make it a better option.

brightonbleach · 29/02/2012 12:16

we bought a bath safety seat (asda about a tenner) which had suckers to firmly hold it to the bottom of the bath and it swivels, was one of the best things we ever bought as our DS was very scared of the bath, we used it from about 5m(wish we'd found it sooner!) to about 14m and now (28m) he splashes around in the bath like its his fave place to be, pretends to swim, even likes the swimming pool. It was great for his bathtime, only fill the bath up to about their waist when they're sitting in it. In the pool he wears a suit like a wetsuit from Boots, doesn't get cold in it, ideal. :)

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