Night time bed wetting ...Help please

[Caro44]

Hi everyone. I'm new to Mumsnet (a virgin if you like!).
I'm after some advice regarding my DD who is just 4. She is really struggling to get out of pull-ups at night. I've increased the amount she drinks pre 5pm to ensure her bladder gets used to holding more fluid (it's meant to help), talked to her about it, left the bathroom light on, put up a star chart etc.. but she is still doing a wee (just one I think) every night. I've tried lifting her when I go to bed but she's not interested in doing anything.
Any suggestions anyone?

I'm not so sure on facts here so Apologise for post being a bit vague but I think it might be a hormone thing when it comes to being dry at night and if their brain isn't producing a hormone then their body just isn't ready to allow them to be able to go all night.
If she has any bedtime drinks then I would just bring them forward by a couple of hours and make sure she has gone to loo before bed and then persevere with taking her to the toilet when you go to bed. Also buy a plastic sheet for the bed, with my dd it wasn't till we just took the pull up away that we discovered she was capable of being dry at night. Think she just sub conciously knew she didnt have to get up to go and in her case was the only going stopping her from being dry at night.But going cold turkey is very nerve racking and canbe very impractical we were very fortunate she never had an accident. But to be honest many children past four are still in pull ups at night it's nothing to do with being a good or bad parent it's just something kids do when they are ready and she will in her own time :)

Hi Caro and welcome to MN:)

Don't stress about it, is the main piece of advice I'd give! Lots of four year olds are still wet at night so you're not alone and the docs won't consider a referral into after the age of seven.

It sounds like your doing the right things, but after getting advice from the eneurisis clinic for my DS, I would add cutting out anything with blackcurrant in as it's a diuretic, and make your before bed routine is toilet, teeth and story etc, then toilet again before settling.

My DS only drinks water or milk, has nothing after 6.30 and we encourage him to drink two full sports bottles at school everyday (he doesn't always take that advice though). We also gave up on pull-ups on the advice of the clinic, as it enables them to wee if that makes sense? Washing sheets and duvets every morning can be a chore, but my DS goes through spells of being dry, then will be wet every night for a week.

I always thought you were supposed to wait until you had a run of dry pullups before going cold turkey, but my ds would just have the odd dry night every week ago from the age of 2.5 till now (almost 7)! We went cold turkey upped the drinks before 5 and had a week of wet beds and now he is dry most of the time. I think waking up in the wet although horrid does help them to learn.

Yes, I forgot about the hormone thing! Mainly because that isn't DS's problem. You can get medication to replicate the hormone, but it won't make a difference if the issue is with bladder capacity, or the brain not being woken up by the "need to wee" trigger.
We suspect that is DS's main problem, and the next option for us is a bedwetting alarm, but we get precious little sleep round here as it is!

And thanks for reminding me that I need to get back onto the clinic :o

Hi Caro - I'm speaking only from my own experience here and others may disagree.

From what I heard, night time dryness is dependent on the production of a certain hormone (I can't remember the name) and until the child produces it they do not have the ability to withold urine at night.

I mentally struggled with this for ages as my DD, now 6.5 continually had a very wet nappy at night. I did nothing though as did not want her to be under pressure and also I assumed the hormone had not kicked in.

Shortly before her 6th birthday I asked my GP about it who suggested lifting her at night. She said it may just kick start her body into change, and also the positive feeling it would give DD by having a dry nappy in the morning could do something also. Against my better judgement I did this and hey presto it worked - she went pull up free a month later on her 6th birthday and I no longer lifted her.

The other point is that my DS has just naturally stopped needing pull ups at night and he is 4.4yrs.

Sorry for the long post but I think 4 is a little early to worry about it and children develop at different stages.

Good luck and don't worry to much!

too much (obviously)

Thanks ladies. I'm just going to carry on as is for now and try again with the lifting and then maybe in 3 months I'll go cold turkey (when I can hang the sheets out on the line to dry !!). I'll look up the hormone thing as it sounds interesting ...
I could get to like MN - certainly makes you feel like you are not alone x

her body isn't ready yet.

my dd is 4.9 and is still in pull ups at night, she has always drunk loads during the day so she must have a pretty elastic bladder by now, yet still she wees in the night. don't sweat it, it's pretty normal at this stage no matter what anyone else says. Over the last few weeks my dd has started waking up in the middle of the night asking to go to the loo, sometimes her pull up is dry, sometimes not - for her I think it's going to be a long process whereas my niece was dry at 3.5 literally overnight!

I'd ditch the star chart - she hasn't got any control over what's happening at night so it won't help

Caro, we were told at the clinic, that if lifting (though they don't encourage it), to make sure the child is awake and knows they are on the toilet, otherwise the body doesn't know it has to wake up!

MN is fab! Had a squinting round active convos, maybe start a thread in chat introducing yourself, be wary of AIBU (it's where the vipers live ) , but otherwise have fun :) and be prepared to start every conversation with "There was a thread on MN today..." :o

Lots of information, support and advice on the ERIC website.

We just got DS2 a bedwetting alarm from them. It has been phenomenally successful but he is five-and-a-half, was ready for it and wanted it and loves gadgets and anything that makes a noise.

I've never been a chart-person and I am amazed that he adores the chart that came with it. He fills it in himself every morning. Mostly it says 'dry'.

Hello, you old viper!

Hi agree with Misswoowoo other posters.
Don't stress about it - her body probably just isn't ready.
I think the hormone that other posters have mentioned is one that concentrates the urine more while we are sleeping so we produce less volume when sleeping than when awake.
Night timewetting isn't usually considered a 'problem' until they are aged 8 as all children develop differently.

I have 3 children and all have been different ! The eldest DS wasn't regularly dry until age 7 ( and still had the occasional accident at the age of 9 if over tired). I took him to the Enurisis clinic and was told that 1 in 10 children aged 8 still have problems and not to stress but to encourage drinking during the day to exercise the bladder and stop fluid from about 6pm.
For regular night time wetters there is an alarm system that can be used which senses the wet and sets off an alarm. This doesn't stop them needing a wee in the night but can train them to wake up when they do need a wee so they can go to the loo in the night rather than wetting the bed. This system is more suited to older children and works for some but not for others.

My younger DS was dry at night at age 2.5 ( the same time that he was potty trained !). His bladder control is still amazing and he can be up for an hour in the morning before he needs a wee.

So they really are all so different. Even if your DD does become dry at night in the next couple of months you may find that she wets the bed again when she starts school as the get so tired.

Hope this helps

You may find that, whatever you do, nothing helps until her body is physically ready. So the best advice I can give you is don't stress.

I read all the info that said once they have a few dry nights take them out of nappies - but age 4 came and went and DD1 never did have a dry night. We tried removing the nappies but then we just got soaking wet beds.

At around 6 they referred her to the enuresis clinic, mainly because she couldn't hold on for long in the day either.

They tried all manner of incentives, sticker charts, drugs (which worked in a limited way but affected her adversely in other ways), goodness knows what. The only thing that eventually worked was an alarm, but it meant terrible broken nights and we were only allowed to keep it a very short time under NHS rules, and she regressed after we stopped.

After nothing worked they started getting cross and suggested psychiatric tests to see if there were any underlying issues. At this point I got scared, lied and said she was dry, and we left. I put her in dry nites and we forgot all about it.

At the age of 9, she just grew out of it. For about a year after that she would regress a bit if she got stressed and we would have a wet bed. She's 16 now and you would never know she ever had a problem. It took a long time, but we got there. And I really wish above everything else that we had not put her through all that. I look back and all that sticker chart stuff was just awful, because she couldn't do anything about it. We were trying to offer rewards for something she could not control.

DD2 was spontaneously dry at night at only 3, so it really was nothing to do with my parenting. DD1 just took a long time to physically mature enough.

Your DD will be dry at night. It might be next month. it might be 5 years down the line. But she will be dry. :)

:o swampster

Do you rate the bedwetting alarm then? Things have gone wonky with DS1 again and he has been wet more than he hadn't since Christmas. He'll be 10 in a few months and is getting quite stressed about it. DS2 still not sleeping through though so not sure we could take more sleep disruption!

Absolutely agree with Musicposy. My DD only really grew out of it a few years ago (she is now 12). On the other hand DS was dry at 3.

My advice would be to help her cope with it as best you can (drynites, lifting etc) and then just forget about it and let nature take it's course.

The alarm has worked shockingly well for us, Daisy. But, like I said, DS2 really, really wanted it - much to my surprise. I'd say he'd never had a dry night and once he had the alarm he didn't even set it off for the first few nights.

When it does go off he turns it off, goes upstairs for a pee. Needs help to get it back on again with a change of clothes.

I think the theory is, it teaches them to recognise the sensation of needing to pee when they are asleep so in the end they anticipate it before it happens.

It was expensive to buy so I'd dithered for ages over getting one, it was only his keenness when I told him of their existence that made me bite the bullet and get one. Money well spent!

And do take a look at he http://www.eric.org.uk website, Caro and everyone else whose DCs have wetting (and soiling) issues. It is a truly fabulous source of information.

Sorry, that was meant to say the ERIC website...

Thanks for the input swampster :)
We can borrow one from the eneurisis clinic, so I must get back onto them.