How to Discipline a 13month old

[beebee1978]

My ds has started smacking me with whatever toy he has in his hand at the time. I so no firmily and do the finger pointing and even sometimes taken the toy off him but it makes no difference. He's even started hitting the cat and tried to throw his juice at her last night. Does any one have any suggestions as I want to nip this in the bud

You remove the item and distract. Model the behaviour you do want, ignore the behaviour you don't want as far as possible and praise praise praise the good. He doesn't know other people have feelings of pain because he can't feel it himself. He's just interested in the immediate reaction.

Thanks show I'll give it a go

Distract before you see the behaviour happen, remove the toy and sing a song or something else. Saying 'no' doesn't really do anything except teach them to repeat 'no, no, no' at you when they're older. Don't be afraid to use short sentences, something like "Don't do that because .....". Babies often understand more than the words they can form.

You can also show 'gentle hands' so take his hand and do gentle movements whilst saying 'gentle hands'.

The cat will only put up with so much before doling out her own form of discipline, so I would let them shake down together but keep an eye on them both.

Agree take the item and distract and praise wanted behaviuor sometime do this type of thing for attention so try and not react as all attention good for

Don't do that it hurts. Then I said "gently" to him, took his hand in mine and showed him what I meant. It does take a while though!

I went for the 3 warning approach. Please don't do that, don't do that, I told you not to do that. Then removal of whatever or of him from the situation. Now he gets the corner (26months).

Also it's very important to show him how you want him to behave towards the cat. Now he know if I say gently that he's being too rough and calms down a bit, but the problem when they're younger is that they can't reliably judge how hard they push or strong they are. It's not malicious, just lack of coordination.

Thanks for your replies. Good idea world I will try the not saying no and think of something else to say. I get so worried because he's a big boy for his age and when we visit other friends children/ babies hes very overpowering with his voice and actions, I don't want him smacking them. As for the cat she's loves ds and wants to play so she won't budge till she get whacked and only then runs off, she's a colourpoint Persian very different temperament to normal moggy that we also have and that one won't go any near ds.

glad to read other's going through the smacking, whacking and throwing things stage - I'm struggling to know what to do sometimes... the 'softly' approach seems to work that some one mention - taking her hands and saying 'nicely' and getting her to stroke rather than smack.. throwing things I believe is all about cause and effect - so guess we just ignoring it and picking up offending item and not giving it back.

Thanks this. I do show him to be gentle towards to cat and he does stroke her but then hits her and then laughs. Going to try these new methods and hopefully it will work.

my grandson is nearly 14 months,he says awww to the dog and roughly pats it,the cat gets the same rough pats and runs its funny to watch,but he does hit the dog sometimes with whatever is in his hand,the other day he was trying to get out the door,and my daughter said no and lifted him up,and he clawed her face,she said no thats naughty,and put him down,he started to cry,so she picked him up and again he went for her face,so again she put him down and he ran over and bit the hairbrush really hard,i think its frustration..

DD is a terror for this - she's 16 months. I do this:

1. Say no, explain that you need to be gentle and show how eg stroking the cat). LOTS of praise for being gentle if they do it.

1. (after they do it again) "I said no", and ignore.

1. (does it again) "I said no. If you do it again you will have to go to the naughty patch".

1. (again) "Right, that's made mummy very sad" Onto the naughty patch for the count of ten then completely ignore for a minute or so, then lots of cuddles if upset.

legallyblond how do you get your dd to stay on the naughty patch? ds is 21mo and i don't know how i wuold get him to stay on a naughty patch for a count of ten!! atm i give him time out and put him outside the door, we have glass panels in our internal doors so he can still see me and doesn't get scared, but we're moving soon so i need a new method...also it doesn't always work anyway so definitely need something new...

I hold her there... it sounds bad but it is not at all. I mean I just sort of gently have my arms round her/either side of her as I quietly count to ten with her - the naughty patch (patch better than a step as there's always a "patch" wherever you are!) is in the corner of the sitting room facing the wall. TBH, she is quite compliant, even when she's naughty, so she is not unwilling to sit there while I count to ten - she doesn't resist me at all so I know I am not hurting her by physically holding her there. On occasion I have just oput her in the "patch" and she stays there (just about!).

We have done the naughty patch thing since she ws about 1....

Thanks for all the info. I distract him now when he smacks me or hits me with toys and so far it's working as he's doing it less often.

Thanks legallyblond:)

We said 'hitting hurts. Touch gently please' and used his hand to touch gently. Modelling what you want them to do instead is the most important thing IMO.