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Ds so clingy at play group

2 replies

DesperateHousewife21 · 28/02/2012 10:07

I go to one play group a week at a surestart centre. I've been going since it first started in nov 2010 when ds was 4 months and he's now nearly 20 months.

The group has the same basic structure every week, we have lunch all together, then take the children to play with toys/ books/ crafts etc then the mums go next door for a chat and a cuppa tea while the crèche staff look after the children.

As soon as we arrive ds knows I'm going to leave him. He cries as soon as we go into the room to play and clings to me the whole time (none of the other children do this, big range of age from newborn to 3yo).
I say 'mummy's going to go now but I'll be back soon' quick kiss and cuddle and hand him over.

He cries his eyes out when I go and can sometimes hear him from the next room.
When I return he's always sitting on a staff members lap he never goes off to play on his own.

Hes only like this at that particular group. Hes fine at the park, indoor play, other peoples houses.

I love going to the group and it's great to socialise for both of us but I'm starting to feel its not worth the upset. Will he grow out of this or suddenly realise I AM coming back? I just can't see him ever enjoying it while I'm not in the room.
The staff say its because he knows I'm going to leave him but I can leave him at families houses etc and he's fine.

Has anyone else had experience of this?

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IWillOnlyEatBeans · 28/02/2012 14:28

How is he afterwards? Does he bounce back quickly as soon as he sees you, or is he quiet/withdrawn etc for a good while?

TBH I would probably have a break from the group for a while. I know it's nice for you to socialise, but I'd look into attending more groups where you can stay in the same room...you can then chat with the other mums and your DS can keep an eye on you!

My DS is severely clingy and I know how frustrating it can be. However all the advice we have been given (have seen a couple of professionals) is not to push him into situations which he is not ready for. There will be a time when that appraoch may be appropriate, but that will be when he is older (3+)...

DesperateHousewife21 · 28/02/2012 16:26

Thanks for your reply. He's very cuddly when I return and is happy to see me and will play/ join in with singing at the end.

It's such a lovely group and they do so much for us it would be a shame to not go, they all know us so well now but as you say if he's not ready it's probably making him worse not better.

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