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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Any advice on keeping that bloomin dummy in DS's mouth!!

20 replies

rowanrowow · 27/02/2012 20:37

Hi, my DS is 9 weeks old. Seems a pretty grumpy little fella as was his big brother. He does however calm down immediately with a dummy. I hate the look of them but I do appreciate babies need to suckle etc so I gave in and tried him with it. The problem is he can NOT keep it in his mouth. He seems to just like it in there but doesn't understand he has to keep sucking it! He doesn't need it for sleeping so it's not affecting night time but it's just during the day he is miserable without me holding the dummy in his mouth! Will he ever get the hang of it or should I just give up on the dummy and put up with the crying??

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LeoTheLateBloomer · 27/02/2012 20:44

First option: have you tried to help him find his thumb? It's a whole lot easier for them to put it back themselves.

Second option: do you know what's causing his crying? DD was so unsettled (thanks to her head being sucked into a very long cone at birth) and cranial osteopathy worked a treat, completely eliminating the need for dummies. Is he windy/colicy?

Original poster

rowanrowow · 27/02/2012 20:57

Ahhh the reason for his grumpiness... if only I knew! We have been refered to a paediatrician, he is on dairy free in case of milk intolerance, we have tried gaviscon infant incase of reflux, he has also had one session of cranial osteopathy last week and is due again on Thursday for his second session to try and ease his wind. I have no idea where to turn next or what to do. He seems constantly tired and grumpy yet he naps about very hour. He wasa big baby and is maybe hungry but doesn't feed a lot, seems lazy when feeding sometimes pulling off after only a couple of ounces. Then he cries and grizzles no matter what. DS1 was very similar sadly although he did sleep better at night. He eventually grew out of it and we figured he just didn't like being a baby. He has been a delight since he learned to talk. We are hoping DS2 will suddenly turn a corner but at the moment I just need to survive the next few months.

OP posts:

LeoTheLateBloomer · 27/02/2012 21:14

Poor you. Sounds like you're really going through the mill. Hope you manage to sort it out soon (and get some sleep).

conorsrockers · 27/02/2012 21:35

I didn't know reflux could be treated with Gaviscon!! It wasn't even recognised when my kids were small, we just knew one of ours had it as he 'spat up' after feeding. We kept him propped up all the time and fed little and often with the Heiny bottle.
However, get a dummy with a bigger 'teat', the cherry ones are best cause they don't really slip out! Those baby style ones are useless IMHE.
Alternatively, Sellotape it in ;)

Original poster

rowanrowow · 27/02/2012 21:46

Haha believe me the thought of taping the damn thing in has crossed my mind! It's just a very difficult time at the minute and obviously I am wanting to help him through it with the minimal amount of crying! Things have to improve eventually though right????? I remember feeling this helpless when DS1 was a baby andeventually he just turned into the most wonderful intellegent little boy so I am hopeful a similar future awaits us with DS2... just hard to see it sometimes :-(

OP posts:

smartiesrule · 27/02/2012 21:53

I tied (very) loose fabris elastic onto my DS's dummy. Just enough to hold it on his head. Worked a treat.

smartiesrule · 27/02/2012 21:53

That's 'fabric' not 'fabris'

madwomanintheattic · 27/02/2012 22:00

ds here was v similar, but was ok if we kept him upright and moving, so i just wore him in an outward facing babybjorn the whole time, and spent blardy hours every day dancing round the room with him. never did learn to keep a dummy in.

i wouldn't recommend tying anything around your babies head to keep a dummy in, however loosely, because of the small risk of strangulation.

Octaviapink · 28/02/2012 05:40

conorsrockers - not all spit-up is reflux. It's only reflux if it hurts them when they're sick, it means there's stomach acid coming up. DD was a massive posseter but it wasn't reflux - she was a 'happy sicker'.

jshm2 · 28/02/2012 08:07

Maybe get a "toy dummy" which he can both play and suckle on. Make him a nice little necklace so he can easily find it every time.

madwomanintheattic · 29/02/2012 16:19

Tying a dummy round a 9 week old's neck? Toy? necklace?

Seriously?

There is a reason that dummy 'holders' are usually short lengths of whatever with a clip to attach to clothing. Nothing that goes on a bit of string round the neck, FFs.

Don't tie anything around your baby's neck or face, op. Really, however loosely, just don't. please.

4madboys · 29/02/2012 16:24

have you seen those bunny comforters designed to hold a dummy then you can lie the cuddly bunny on your ds's chest etc and that may stay in better? with dd i would thread a muslin cloth through the dummy handle then put the cloth over her chest, like a blanket would be on her iyswim? that sometimes helped? they do just leanr to keep them in but in your sons case it sounds like he has other issues going on, have you tried a sling, or a baby swing, swaddling or movement etc, all these can be comforting for babies :)

Octaviapink · 29/02/2012 17:19

Umm, just a suggestion, but given how hard it is to break a dummy habit, is it really worthwhile spending ages instilling it??

PoptartPoptart · 29/02/2012 18:50

Word of advice - please don't help him find his thumb, no matter how tempting it might be! I did this with DS. He was constantly losing his dummy and driving me nuts putting it back in every two minutes so I helped him and encouraged him to use his thumb. Now, at the age of 6 I am trying everything to get him to stop sucking his thumb! It's a really hard habit to break. So however tempting it might be, please think of the consequences for you both a few years down the line.

SiennaB · 29/02/2012 19:19

I hate to tell you this but I sucked my thumb until I was sixteen!

Octaviapink · 29/02/2012 19:24

My DH sucks his and he's 35. [shrug] I don't see the problem.

Original poster

rowanrowow · 01/03/2012 03:01

thank you for the advice everyone. Given that he is 9 weeks old the 'toy' dummy eally wouldn't work as he couldn't find it himself. He doesn't know he has hands yet! I really wouldn't feel comfortable tying anything around his neck ir face though. I know the dummy habbit may be hard to break octavia but what else can I do?? He enjoys having it in his mouth, he routes for it but can't hold it in for long. I wish he wasn't like this really I do but I am desperate. I feel like I am exploring every avenue bu nothing helps. He's already on dairy free, tried gaviscon, have second cranial osteopathy session in the morning. Nothing seems to help. If anyone has any suggestions then please feel free to help! I am fearful he's jus the same as DS1 who didn't cheer up til he could talk :-(

OP posts:

conorsrockers · 01/03/2012 06:24

Octavia - I didn't word that very well, I was just trying to avoid long explanations as there seems to be enough reflux experts on here already! Hardly anyone knew what it was 10 years ago!!!
Dummy's made having 3 under 5's bearable for us. Its a constant source of soothing for them - Who cares if mine had them till they were 5. I'm not keeping count, they were happier and more settled and so was I. Bliss!

conorsrockers · 01/03/2012 06:44

I had a very grumpy middle baby - the other two were fine. I remember my Mum saying to me 'you are making this very difficult for yourself, why don't you pop something in his milk' (referring to something alcoholic) - I was gobsmacked and went into a tirade - only to be told 'well it worked for you'. Great! That would explain alot .... amazing how things were so different 40 years ago - I don't think anyone would even consider it now!!! We must be alot more patient :)

RunningOutOfIdeas · 01/03/2012 06:59

Has your DS been checked for tongue-tie? That could explain poor feeding and not being able to keep a dummy in.

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