I need new words!

[nickelDorritt]

Having been reminded by the swearing in front of the cat thread, I meant to post this this morning.

I am aware that at some point, I will have to use new words for normal words that are swearwords.

I'll explain that in english

Someone on an American TV show this morning said someone was a tool. I tried to explain to DD what a tool was in real English. The only words I could think of were knobhead, twat, dickhead.

There are many others.

So, I say "Oh shag" or "bollocks" when I drop something

i say knackered
shit

etc.

please help me remember the nice-not-swearing equivalents! (that are child-friendly - I don't think "imbecile" is any more helpful than "tool")

come on!

surely someone knows some words that aren't swear words?

Maybe I should have asked on NM....

sugar
bother
Oh dear me
Ouch

are these the sort of things

I started practicing while I was pregnant so now it's a stream of 'bother' 'fiddlesticks''sugar puffs' and 'bummox' and silly people are 'wallies'. Hope these help!

Having either worked around or had my own children from 17, my vocabulary is full of;
Oh Bumsy,
Whoops-a-daisy,
Oh you silly banana,
Pantaloons,
Shhhhhhugar,
Merde (my DC don't speak French),

Also DH and I have adopted the Friends banging your fists and forearms together and the Peter Kay stealth V sign, and I'm not sure how but the code for sex is loading the dishwasher, wrong I know and also awkward if the Dishwasher actually does need loading!

Try 'buddy' for 'bloody'

oh dear
oh my goodness (ha ha ha - my kids sometimes say this)
yikes (ha ha double ha, makes me chuckle, very 70s child)
oh no

oh bottoms
pantalooners (he he - see above poster with pantaloons)
botheration

I use wonka for dickheads, tools, idiots etc. You can pass it off as something to do with Willy Wonka, but actually it's just a variation on wanker.

yes, i can do the child-friendly expletives - it's more the general everyday descriptions.

I like your Wonka, Tris

i tend to sound very Famous Five with expletives - i use gosh and Golly a lot