preparing 1st child for new baby

[Alpinechildcare]

Hi

I am due in August when my son will be 18 months old. I have found lots of advice about books for him, but was wondering if anyone new of any good books I can read? I'm interested in reading about the psychological impact of the arrival of a sibling, and would also like some ideas for what I can do in preparation, and to help him cope when number two arrives.

Thanks

Alpine

I'm in the same boat, expect my DD wil be 2.5 when the next one arrives. Watching with interest.

Me too. My daughter will be 2yrs9mos.

Has anyone noticed any regressive behaviour in no. 1? Mine asks to be 'carried like a baby' quite a lot and is going through a spurt of sep anxiety (not wanting to go to the childminder).

My eldest is nearly 4 and my youngest nearly 2 and our third is arriving a month after she turns two. I found this website very useful in preparing the first for his baby sister.
www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/newbaby.htm

I also thought it was really important for him to feel involved, so i bought him his own baby doll, pram, bottle etc - and he would feed his baby and i fed his sister. I would also bath them together, him in a toddler seat, her in a baby seat - this really helped them to bond, he used to like to wash his sister. If you can encourage them to help even in very little ways it will help them bond.

Also this is very useful:

www.oh-pin.org/articles/pex-09-the-new-baby-prepare-kids.pdf

Hi all. I am expecting number 2 and DD will be 2 when baby arrives so very interested in this thread. I have been talking to DD about mummy having a baby in her tummy but don't think she gets it. Although she has started to like sitting up against my tummy as she feels the baby kicking. I am planning on buying DD a doll so she will have a baby to look after as well. Other than that I am hoping to keep her included and still have cuddles for her so she does not feel neglected. Fingers firmly crossed.

My DD will be 2.10 when DS arrrives in June. I'd like to read some preparation stuff too. She's excited and talks about it quite a lot. We've got a lovely picture book called 'There's going to be a baby' which is just right for her. I've noticed lots of wanting to be a baby too, often crawling and wanting to be fed! She asks a lot about what the baby will
be able to do and sometimes declares he can have certain toys and books (mostly stuff she doesn't like!). All sounds good, she even knows he's in my tummy. However, she thinks he's bringing his own mummy with him...

DS was 22 months when DD was born. Before she was born we read 'There's A House Inside My Mummy' nearly every day, which I think helped him understand. I also pointed out babies to him and talked about what would happen when the baby arrived. I also took him to the hospital a couple of times, as I had to be monitored due to concerns about DD's growth, so when I talked about hospital he knew where and what it was.

Once she arrived he was spectacularly disinterested in her. He only really started to interact with her once she was about 6 months old, and could sit up and smile at him. There have been times where he's been horribly jealous, which started at around 4 months. I've tried to minimise this by making sure I spend time with him without DD around, and emphasising what a lovely big brother he is (even though he isn't at times.)

Oh, and get a sling. It'll be a sanity saver if you have an unpitdownable newborn and a toddler who needs you to run around with him/her.

my DS will be 2.8 when new baby arrives in June so this thread is useful for me! I was advised to read Siblings without Rivalry, which I have done, and will implement as required. Also got a few books for DS (My New Baby and Babies Everywhere), and he has watched a LOT of Peppa Pig Mummy Rabbits Bump (so is probably convinced there's a rabbit in my tummy :o). He keeps patting my bump and saying 'baby sister in le tummy!' so has some vague notion of what's happening, but I expect he is going to be utterly repulsive once she arrives, as he has that sort of personality.

We've also been advised to make up feeding baskets for him - so when baby is being fed, he can get a basket of toys/books/snacks down and play with it, but it's ONLY for feeding time, so a special treat. I've been stocking up on tat from the sales and the pound shop, and will make sure there is some wee snack in in each day for him (mini box of raisins, or a biscuit, or the like).

And I have a sling!

DS was 19 mths when DD was born. Once I was visibly pregnant, I told him I had a baby in my tummy and I bought him some books like What's in Your Tummy Mummy and the Rachel Fuller books - Waiting for Baby and My New Baby. He loved them and still likes to read them (DD is now 13 mths). I found them really helpful to prepare him.
For myself, I read Raising Happy Brothers and Sisters by Jan Parker and Jan Stimpson, which I found good. It has sections on preparing a first-born for a new sibling's arrival, and then the sibling relationship at different ages. Before DD was born, I got some presents for DS that I gave to him when he came to visit us in hospital for the first time and told him they are from her. He also went and picked out a toy stuffed animal that was his present to her.
He was always really sweet with her from the moment she was born - wanting to hold her hand, cuddle her, etc. Things got a bit more rough when she was old enough to start grabbing his toys - he is very possessive about them!

Thanks for all the posts. I think what's worrying me the most is that a lot of the advise involves talking to them about what's happening, but he's only 14 months doesn't say any words yet himself, and although I chat away to him I have no idea what he understands and what he doesn't. I can't imagine that in the next 4 months he's going to have progressed enough to be able to understand what on earth I'm talking about. Him being able to help chose a present, seems so far off. I got him a doll and he just throws it around and bites it's plastic face as a teething aid, which doesn't really seem ideal.

At that age I think the best thing you can do is talk/read to them about the new arrival (he will understand more than you think) and let him get used to seeing the baby's things around the house. So closer to the time, leave out baby's moses basket, crib, nappies, play mat etc...just so that your DS becomes familiar with them.

He's just a baby himself really, so he'll be really quick to adapt once baby no2 arrives.

Just to reassure you I'm sure your DS will understand almost everything at a basic level by 18 months. There is a bit shift in comprehension between 12 and 18 mos. Try asking him to do things and use lots of questions, such as 'can you put the ball in the cup'. I think you will be surprised soon!