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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD not letting us clean her properly when she needs changed - need advice

16 replies

MoragG · 23/02/2012 13:33

DD is 25 months. She has quite sensitive skin and sometimes her bottom gets a bit red and quite quickly sore if she's not changed really quickly (esp. when she is at nursery when they don't always change her straight away if she hasn't indicated to someone that she needs changed).

The problem is that she has got it into her head that being wiped after she has done a poo is sore, and so she starts crying even before we have started wiping her! This is even worse at nursery, where apparently she can be hysterical. It has turned into a bit of a vicious circle - because she won't let us clean her properly it is more likely she WILL be sore. She clenches her legs together and makes it impossible to clean her properly, but I am really reluctant to force them open as I think this will make her even more upset about the whole process. Matters have not been helped by the fact that she has just had chickenpox and there were quite a lot of spots in her nappy area, so being wiped was clearly sore for her.

We are hoping to begin potty training fairly soon, but not sure if this will help things at all. Has anyone else had this problem? Any tips for making things easier?

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tootiredtothinkofanickname · 23/02/2012 13:45

Not sure this would work, but can you wash her bottom instead of wiping it, maybe just pop her in the shower? Not sure they can do it at nursery though, I have no experience of nurseries.

Also, what wipes are you using? I find the Derma H2O wipes excellent, although very pricey. All the other I've looked at have nasties in them.

CiderwithBuda · 23/02/2012 13:51

Agree about the wipes. Try cotton wool and tepid water for a while. the wipes might sting her a bit.

hellymelly · 23/02/2012 13:52

How well does she respond to talking things over?If you keep explaing the spots have gone and that she will be more sore if she isn't cleaned quickly,would that help do you think? My dd had a nappy full of chicken pox spots and they were so sore,I can sympathise with your poor little dd. Weleda nappy change cream is really good on irritated bottoms,so might help it all feel less sore generally.And try cleaning her with cotton wool and water like a newborn,or with weleda baby oil and cotton wool,I think wipes can sometimes sting.

Original poster

MoragG · 23/02/2012 13:58

Thanks for replying. I don't think it's the wipes, as we haven't changed what we are using and she was fine having her bottom wiped until the last couple or months. Shower would not be an option at nursery I don't think, but possibility for home. I think our major problem is that she is anticipating it being sore even if it isn't :-(

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Original poster

MoragG · 23/02/2012 14:06

Good idea to change to cotton wool and water for a bit - I might try that. I'll try and find some Weleda cream. I think talking to her is the best option - I have tried to explain to her that it will hurt more if she won't let me clean her, so I think I need to persevere with that. She does generally understand (I think!) if I explain things like that.

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blue22 · 23/02/2012 14:08

I have exactly the same problem. My DD just HATES to be cleaned. She's now 2.4 and I'm about to start potty training too mainly because I hope it'll make things better!
The things that I've found that help a little bit, are doing it with cotton wool and warm water instead of wipes, and kind of squeezing the water as I'm wiping to help clean her. She really clamps her legs together and won't open them - I sometimes start on her knee and say 'does that hurt'? answer no - move up to leg and ask again, etc etc. Sometimes I go for bribery with a biscuit or something
Occasionally, if it's not very messy, I can do it quickly by singing and distracting really energetically before she's had time to object, but it's a pretty awful process for us all and I can't wait for it to get better.
Sorry you're going through it too!

tootiredtothinkofanickname · 23/02/2012 14:10

Your poor DD. I would still try to pop her in the shower a few times, just to break the cycle a bit, and when she's (hopefully) calmer would try again with cotton wool and water or oil and cotton wool (good idea, have never thought of this).

It is also possible for her to have become sensitive to one of the ingredients in the wipes after months of use. DS has eczema and there was one cream I was using which seemed to help, until he had a bad rash when I put it on. I've read that they can become allergic in time, it's a kind of cumulative effect.

COCKadoodledooo · 23/02/2012 15:20

Echo what others have said re cotton wool and water. Also I presume you've tried different types of nappies, to see if they are what's making her sore?

hellymelly · 23/02/2012 15:54

I once used a baby wipe on my rear end when camping and it stung like hell! So I think if the skin is at all irritated then they can make things worse.

hellymelly · 23/02/2012 15:55

I used to get brilliant German wipes that were oily not wet,I'll see if I can find a link.

tootiredtothinkofanickname · 23/02/2012 16:10

OP, the larger Boots stores sell Weleda products, otherwise you can also find them on Amazon.

Original poster

MoragG · 23/02/2012 16:17

Thanks very much for lots of helpful advice. I don't think the nappies are the problem - we have used Pampers pretty much since birth and not had any problems in the past. I will definitely pop into a big Boots store and get some Weleda cream. I agree the wipes are probably an issue when her bottom is even slightly sore so will try cotton wool instead.

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CiderwithBuda · 23/02/2012 16:32

Great idea of blue22 to try another area first.

BeeMyBaby · 24/02/2012 07:54

I would say potty training would be extremely helpful - my DD1 used to scream and thrash everytime I tried her to change her nappy and it was a horrible fight with her, but we potty trained her at 23months (2 months ago) and she has been a much happier child since as she now doesn't have to flip out during the nappy change so she has a nice calm day.

Iggly · 24/02/2012 07:57

Flannels are good too and you can get most of it in a couple of swipes! Easier than cotton wool and reusable too.

ChunkyMonkeyMother · 24/02/2012 08:12

I used the beige Huggies wipes which are supposed to be cotton wool and water - they are the only wipe I can use on my own skin (everything else gives me a rash) they are also lovely and thick - we helped our DS with nappy rash by using a mixture of sudocrem and bepanthen at every change, it helped a lot especially as when he was sore it soothed very quickly - It is also easy enough to use at nursery.

all I can say is that now, he has been potty trained for about 5 months if not more and he is doing very well, even when he had accidents to begin with there was no soreness - so it does get easier! Good luck!

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