My 3 year old hates me

[LaLoose]

OK, so I know I'm being a drama queen and a wuss, but he woke me at 5am to tell me that. And I know he doesn't know what he's saying. But he really does seem to dislike me. He calls for his father all the time when he wakes in the night and, when I go to him instead (previously agreed parenting strategy), just wails 'go way go way go way'. In the daytime it's the same, he seems to hate having me around and often physically pushes me away (though usually only when daddy is an option). So, I guess what I'm looking for is reassurance that he doesn't really hate me, and will stop saying and doing these things, because it makes it so much more difficult to cope with the daily grind of looking after the children (he is a twin)... Anyone?

Oh my goodness I have no idea! Not helpful I know... All I know is that my 2.8 DD changes from DH to myself all the time. She wants DH all the time then wants me all the time.

But absolutely do NOT take this personally he really doesn't hate you. As you have twins, do you feel that one gets any more attention than the other and do they get chance to have time with you individually? I'm just clutching at straws to be honest because I really don't know, but I'm sure someone will come along soon and give you some good advice. I just didn't want your post to go unanswered.

Thank you so much. I admit I do find it difficult not to take it personally, but I expect the 5am start has something to do with that...

I'm pretty sure that, if anything, he gets more attention than his twin, because of his difficult behaviour. But probably negative attention. And yes, I know this is wrong, and we have been trying to ignore bad behaviour from birth... just sometimes we crack. One on one time, no, not really. I don't see how it would be possible, as they hate to be apart and scream if they can't see each other, and there's limited practical ways to do it... God, I really sound pathetic and moany this morning, apologies...

My sister told me recently that I went through a phase of not liking my dad when I was little. I had no memory of this whatsoever and just remembered loving him and being pleased to see him! Apparently he just carried on greeting me and ignored my negative response and in a while I stopped doing it! Sympathies to you as it can't be nice but remember this too shall pass.

Good luck with the 5 o'clock starts -can't be helping much.

It's really difficult. My DD went through a phase like this, and it's now a lot better. The best advice I could give is to not react to it, which is easier said than done. But reacting seemed to perpetuate it.

What do you do when he tells you that? I would totally ignore it, just walk away or change the subject. If he gets any sort of reaction out of you when he says negative things, it will confirm in him mind that it's worth doing again.

Continue to praise all the positives of course.

Not sure if you like books, but Christopher Green's Toddler Taming is supposed to be good. I've just ordered it!

Thanks so much. It is a particular relief to know I'm not alone Dodie. I shall take everyone's advice. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. Thanks again.