Please help me!

[Jenoie]

my 5 yr old son is having a really hard time understanding his emotions and how his actions affect others and it's now coming out in violence towards others. He used to just hurt me when he was angry and frustrated but now it is spilling over into school. I've just got bcd from work to discover he has thrown an enormous tantrum at school today attacking his teachers who had to restrain him!
I'm at the end of my tether! We've been working on a reward system to try and help him understand the cause and effect of behaving in a certain way but we're only 3 weeks into it!
I love my son dearly but am frightened that I'm going tomend up being the only one who does! I don't want him written off as the disruptive one and given up on so early i his little lefe!
Please help me!

I think 5 is a little young to successfully take on board cause and effect.
Is he getting clear consequences for his behaviour?
Small children need boundaries, without them life can be a scary place, and they may start to lash out.
We've been through an awful aggressive stage with ds, with educational psychologists involved. We didn't see any improvement though until we bought the book 123 magic (from amazon).
I can thoroughly recommend this book, I always end up sounding a bit overzealous about it, but I truly believe it has saved dh and my relationship with our son.

Thanks I'll look for that book let's hoe it's an e book coz I've got to face school in the morning and not looking forward to that prospect! How did you find your school were they helpful or dismissive?

Can you get together with his teachers and agree strategies that you can all use? They must have experience of this level of behaviour?

If you are all consistent with your rewards and sanctions he will soon begin to understand the boundaries. At 5yrs he is pushing to see how far he can go. You need to show him the line.

Think also about what may be fuelling his anger, is he struggling with understanding? can he communicate in other ways well ie. verbally?

I'm meeting again with the school in the morning, to try and work out a strategy. He seems to mostly get angry when things don't come easy for him like back stroke or if some one has broken things that he has sent time on, all understandable reasons for being frustrated he just doesn't seem to be able to stop himself from lashing out

Ds's school were amazing, but ultimately the advice from the EP didn't help - it was a case of ignore the bad, praise the good, which sent ds into a spiral of badness that made life hell!
He too gets frustrated when he can't do something, and I think using the 123 book has really helped him calm down without lectures from us, which frustrated him even more. Using the book means that we're now a calm household with barely any shouting (which is a minor miracle!)
If you can't get an e-book version, pm me and I can let you know a quick run down if you want :)

I don't know how to do that on here, today is my first visit out of pure desperation! Just pleased someone has taken the time to reply!