extremely shy 4 year old - possible selective mutism?

[sazzler197]

My little girl is 4 and a half and has always been a very shy little girl, very shy around strangers and won't speak to them! Since she has been at pre-school she was spaeking a little to her teachers, but one incident upset her with one of the teachers, nothing too serious but all the same it uspet her! Ever since then she has not really spoken to any of her teachers, she was also not speaking with any children but apparetly now in her 2nd year she has made some friends and is speaking and playing with some of them which is fab news! She will not however speak to any of her teachers at all, which they have spoken to me about on several occasions and i thought she would just grow out of it!! I saw a programe on tv a few weeks ago about selective mutism and it has made me wonder if she has this a little but with adults only, she will play and speak with friends fine at home but when adults are around she won't speak or will whisper in my ear!! Has anyone else experienced anything like this with their lo's? She is fine at home can speak so well and is actually very bossy in her own surroundings but at play-school she is like a different girl!! There is a lady coming in from the council tomorrow who i am meeting at the playschool to speak to me about her see what she can bring? Do you think i need to be doing something about this or see how she progresses, she has been like this now at play-school for over a year and she is due to start infant school in september!!

Thanks

I suffered from selective mutisim as a child. It's very difficult to diagnose and dificult to get the correct help for it. Be honest with the lady from the council. Tell her your concerns and that you think that it's selective mutism.

If this is what she has then she will need a lot of understanding from you and her teachers. Lots of confidence building excersises and go at her pace, not the pace that you or the health professionals think that she should be going at.

Let us know how you get on.

Hi Lac365 thanks so much for your reply! The play-school teachers have told me that they have had quiet children before but not like my lo! She is not good at all in groups of other children, but is fine one on one with her friends, but only certain friends though!! She always seems to have her fingers in her mouth a lot too, she is extremely shy!! I am not meeting this other lady untill next week now, i just think the setting at playschool may be too noisy for you,i am hoping when she starts infant school she might be a bit better! The teachers have told me that unfortunatley because she can't show that she can't do her alphabet properly she is going to be ranked at the lowest of the ability even know i know full well she can count over 20, knows her alphabets, she just does not have the confidence to speak to her teachers, allthough she can speak to some of her friends, i will say though she will not speak to her friends outside in the que if their parents are there, she just ignores them! I really feel for her bless her, at home though she is such a confident and even quite bossy little girl!

Do t=you mind me asking how you overcame it? Did you just grow out if it or did you get lots of help? xxx

Also there was another thread on here that appears to have been deleted, and i had some replies on there with other advice from people, would love to hear from you all again, especially the lady who was a speech therapist!! Thanks again everyone!! It's nice to be able to talk with other people as a lot of my family/people don't really understand how i am feeling, they think she will just gorow out of it!. it is really bothering me, just want my little girl to be happy and be able to help her as much as i can! xxx