Looking for advice - my DS has always had mega tantrums, like, an hour of screaming and ranting if he can't have what he wants. Normal, for some dcs I guess. But, he will soon be 9 and I can't believe we're still dealing with this. The meltdowns are not as frequent and don't go on for as long these days, so he is obviously maturing. We have had to be so firm with the important boundaries as he basically pushes as hard as he can against all the boundaries we put in place, BUT, I would say that he now knows that what me and DH say is what ultimately goes, and there will be a consequence for disobedience.
However, we still get a LOT of crying and screaming when things are not the way he wants, and I'm wondering if we should "work" on that, iyswim. I think maybe he needs to learn how to ask for what he wants in a nice way, and sometimes just to accept that he can't have it all his way, without a big fuss. For example, he knows that he has to do homework before he is allowed to go out and play. He is very dreamy so the homework can take longer than it should, but yesterday he finished in time to go outside before dinner. I said he could go, but that he needed to come back in 15 minutes as dinner would be ready. Immediate crying and complaining and saying "you're just evil". Should I ignore him (as I've done in the past when he was younger), or should there be consequence for his behaviour? I think he should be controlling his anger a bit better now, and (if appropriate to negotiate), learning to negotiate in a polite way.
Any advice appreciated!