Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

had an awful time- don't know what to do!

14 replies

albosmum · 26/01/2006 13:02

Yesterday ds2 had a tooth extracted that he had knocked previously.
This morning i had my first driving lesson which was awful then went to toddler group with ds2 - ds2 dug his fingers into another childs face really hard and caused lots of blood/damage. I ended up in tears because i had not been watching him properly plus the other child had 2 horrid marks on his face.
He has done this to his brother, me and DH before and i just don't know how to stop him being naughty
I am feeling like a very useless mum.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thecatcherinthequinoa · 26/01/2006 13:03

oh poor you! had the other child provoked your ds2?

meggmoo · 26/01/2006 13:08

Oh AM - What a bummer week for you.

Do you have any break from being a mum at all? You sound like I do after a few months straight with no break - everything just gets on top of me and I end up feeling useless.

You're not rubbish.

Original poster

albosmum · 26/01/2006 13:13

they were having a bit of a fight but ds took it one step further - i don't think i can go back to that group again - i am now in tears again

OP posts:

meggmoo · 26/01/2006 13:14

AM how did you react when your ds did it?

meggmoo · 26/01/2006 13:18

AM, I have to pop out now but will return back to this thread later, I'm not just running out

thecatcherinthequinoa · 26/01/2006 13:19

how old is he? i think younger kids often lash out because it's the only way they know to express themselves.
you can't watch them 100% of the time, these things happen and you aren't to blame

Original poster

albosmum · 26/01/2006 13:21

Oh I did not see it at all - only new when injured child ds was brough over. I then found ds picked him up made him say sorry, told him he was naughty and we were leaving because he was too naughty. DS is 21 months

OP posts:

Original poster

albosmum · 26/01/2006 13:23

plus i don't want to go back as i think ds will be labelled as the child who scrathes we did sing and sign and he bit another child and he did get labelled as the child who bites.

OP posts:

melissasmummy · 26/01/2006 13:37

I would like to think you would still be welcome at your toddler group! I go to a couple & there are times when you aren't always watching your child & these things do happen. The most important thing is that you reprimanded him & made him say sorry for what he did.

We have 1 child, a boy, who is ALWAYS up to no good. In 1 session he scratched 2 children, bruised another, pulled a child's hair till her face went red & bashed a little boy around the head & face, all over a period of 2 hours. Mum saw all this & did NOTHING! Told the child he was a naughty boy ONCE. Now that warrents her being asked not to bring him back, but your isolated incident doesn't, IMHO.

At one point this week, he got hurt & ran to his mum crying, she literally turned her back on him & made a cringing face at him. We thought he did played up for attention, but he doesn't get any. Mum just ignores it, doesn't even apologies to the other mum's for his behaviour. Go along next week & keep an eye on your son so you can defuse situations easily, before they become physical.

Good Luck.

Original poster

albosmum · 26/01/2006 18:02

I left the playgroup upset and still feel awful - but will see how i feel next week

OP posts:

SheWhoShallRemainNameless · 26/01/2006 18:35

How would you feel if it had been another child who had scratched your son, and his mother had been obviously upset and embarrassed and taken her child home for being naughty, as you did? I would have been satisfied with that. I have had my son bitten and scratched at toddler group - that's kids. What matters to me is the mothers' reactions afterwards - and yours sounds fine. I'd pluck up courage and go back if I were you. It would be better for both of you. And it won't be as bad as you think.

You're NOT useless, you're doing fine.

kalex · 26/01/2006 18:41

We had a really awful child and M&T, and i remeber trying to protect my children from her, BUT I ALSO REMEMBER that it was the mother I had the problem with NOT the little girl,
The mother used to be totally ineffectual, oh daisy don't = no daisy don't.

Instead of me, whoi lifts child away. If I am not in time, insist on apology, and if behaviour doesn't improve, WE LEAVE.

You are doing all the right things, you took him home when he wouldn't behave, you supervise him, and you are also concerned when another child gets hurt.

You are doing a good job, and repeat the mantra " this is a phase"

Elibean · 26/01/2006 19:56

I think you did great, and I feel for you - I'd find it much harder to be the scratcher's Mum than the scratchee's, though neither is much fun.
If that had been my child that got scratched, I'd have been satisfied with your handling of the situation and although I might keep a close eye out for my lo the following week, I'd be really sorry if you didn't come back to the group!
Sounds like you've had a rough few days, and your DS may also have been reacting to the tooth business....hugs to you, you sound like a lovely Mum who needs a break.

Yummymummy24 · 26/01/2006 20:02

you will soooo see the funny side in a few weeks though i can understand why you're so upset. Kids do this stuff all the time even more when they get to school. Its nobodies fault don't worry about it. It sounds like you just had a really stressful week. Get a good nights sleep you sound tired out chick.

Flip