At what age should a child be exclusively using cutlery?

[Bearcrumble]

My DS has just turned 2 and will use a fork or a spoon sometimes (he is always given them at mealtimes and his food cut up or him) but I'd say about 3/4 of the time he's either using his fingers. Often we end up feeding him towards the end of the meal as he loses interest.

He's a good eater on the whole and is happy to try new things. DH works from home so we usually eat dinner as a family around the table together. I tend to give him lunch in his highchair in front of cbeebies. I know that's not particularly good but it gives me a bit of a rest in the middle of the day.

Also dressing - he can't put anything on (will put his arms up to take tops off or stuck them out for me to put his coat on) The only thing he can do is take his socks off - when should I be encouraging him to do more?

DS1 is 3.6 and still prefers to eat with his hands (whatever the food is - e.g. beans on toast, porridge...). He is slightly feral . He will eat with a spoon (when I nag and nag) and can use a knife and fork but will not do so willingly. He's a fairly good eater too now so I'm not worried - I'm sure he'll get it eventually.

He has only recently learned to dress himself (again suspect that this was more of an inclination than ability thing, sure he could have done it a while ago).

At 2 he was nowhere near being able to dress himself or use any cutlery other than a spoon.

By the time they go to University.

18 months.

Sorry, that was slightly facetious - it was just a way of saying there's no benchmark for it so it's up to you how much you want it. But I certainly wouldn't expect it of a two-year-old.

In general you want them to enjoy eating and food, by whatever means, so making them use cutlery when they don't have the manual dexterity for it can just ruin mealtimes for them and cause food issues.

When they start going to preschool there is usually a big push to get them to use cutlery in "training" for school dinners at school.

I still have to remind ds (age 5!) to use his fork when eating

Well my DS is 8 and still likes to pick some foods up and eat it that way instead of using cutlery. I think as long as cutlery is always there and they know hoe to use it effectively (i.e they are taught) then it's fine.

I grew up in the middle east and learnt to eat a lot of food with my fingers without making a mess as some people who we visited didn't provide cutlery, and some restaurants didn't either, so maybe that's why I take a bit of a relaxed view on it.

It is pure laziness on DS's part though when he tries to pick up toast piled high with scrambled egg instead of cutting it. I do tell him to use his knife and fork on occasions like that, but if we're having pizza he can use his fingers.

Well mine is 7 and still prefers to use his mitts so mealtimes are often punctuated with me roaring 'CUTLERY!' at him.

But please, please, please - if they are having school dinners teach them how to cut stuff up and don't be "precious" about never touching knives - we have kids at school who cry when you try to show them how to do it themselves because mummy and daddy say its dangerous to touch knives.

Blimey, DD is two and knows how to use knives!

Thanks for all the replies. I'm definitely going to introduce a knife as soon as he is using a fork consistently - I don't think there's any issue with toddlers using dinner knives.

My dgs will be 3 next week and uses a fork and spoon.He likes to have a child sized knife and can cut up softish things like fish.He only uses fingers if it is finger food like sandwiches or cake.He can put on coat and trousers but not do zips buttons-if you put shoes right way round he can get them on and do up velcro.
Your ds sounds absolutely normal for his age.

My son is 2 and can use cutlery. He went through a stage where he would use it no matter what was eating. I have seen him eat a sandwich with a spoon! But he now uses his fingers more. As long as he knows how to use them i am not to bothered if he uses his fingers now and again.